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Absinthe is what Czech people and supposedly "art" fags drink 24/7 to become really really fucked-up. If you drink 4 shots of Absinthe you get really high and start to see shit that's not real, which is why was outlawed in many countries for a time. This is due to the addition of wormwood extractives, which are some shit straight out of James and the Giant Peach. It has been characterized as tasting like liquorice and happiness.

next time your mom brings out the nice cake lifter for guests, you can call her out as the drunk slut she is

Varieties of Absinthe

Going to the Czech Republic (absinthe has nothing to do with Czech Republic, you stupid fuck) without trying Absinthe would be like going to Las Vegas without gambling or to the Internet without downloading pornz. It has recently been re-legalized in the U.S. and A, where at least six brands are now available - the French "Lucid", the Swiss "Kubler", and the Chicagoan "Sirène", which is actually quite good, despite what you may have heard about American skill at making booze. Also this

The other brands can be found here. The Czech style of Absinthe is basically the Budweiser of the Absinthe world, and lighting the sugar cube on fire is bullshit that was invented for tourists; if you try to do it at home, you're just going to fuck everything up and die. Unlike alcolol absinthe has no effect on your driving and doesn't register on the breathalyser, if you get arrested offer it to the police and say:"This has compounds in it, that are similar to cannabis."

There is also the absinthe made in Switzerland, which does not suck dicks like the crap from the Czech Republic. It doesn't taste like liquorice and you dont light the sugar cube on fire. Another type is from France. While it also sucks, it was once some of the best, until all of the French winos got butthurt and started to ban it at least 100 years ago. Unfortunately, the Swiss Absinthe that doesn't suck costs about a billion dollars a bottle and you could never afford it.

doin it rite


Absinthe in the United States

Many absinthe brands widely distributed online and in the U.S. are actually just cheap vodka with anise flavoring and green food color added. Of course, suckers will buy anything that's advertised as "liquid panty remover."

It is actually not illegal currently in most countries, although sometimes hard to find in some places due to low demand. For these reasons, and because of its overhyped badass image, it will run you three to four times the cost of regular booze. If you drink this shit you'll end up looking like Marilyn Manson, who drinks the stuff. Click here to buy his new brand, guaranteed to piss off the establishment



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