Acalamari

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Acalamari is a Wikipedo admin who is really fucking anal. He is an English immigrant living on the East Coast of the United States of America, probably one of those states like New Hampshire where middle-class white people try to raise their kids in a sheltered environment and hide them from what they perceive to be the big, bad outside world.

This is his REAL FACE, it's what he REALLY LOOKS LIKE

Since Acalamari is a huge faggot, he is obsessed with female pop singers, and their shitty, shitty music. Among his favourite artists are Madonna, Pussycat Dolls, Avril Lavigne, Kelly Clarkson, Shakira, Hillary Duff, and worst of all, Shania Twain; all of this information is publicly available on his userpage. Despite his music taste being worse than a gay Greek man like George Michael in a eurodance club on ecstasy in the sotadic zone trying to find a young man to give it in the ass to by practising his meticulously rehearsed choreographic movements, he feels the need to strongly assert his heterosexuality on his userpage, because he is clearly not gay. (But come on, seriously. A male Shania Twain fan? Heterosexual? LOL WUT!)

And, of course, as we all know, information about Shania Twain albums is more appealing to write about on Wikipedia than science or mathematics. The jenkem sucker was so popular, they made him a bureaucrat in 2014.

Here is a quote from one of the many barnstars on his userpage:


   
 
For lighting up Wikipedia with your (apparently) legendary love for editors of the fairer sex, I, A Train award you this unique Don Juan Barnstar on this, the 29th of March, 2007.
 

 
 

—Some Wikifag

It fits, lol

He is also a massive fan of dealing with Grawp vandalism. He loves to delete and salt every single pagemove title that Grawp makes, under the reason of "Grawp title", which is totally against WP:DENY, isn't it? That's just giving Grawp more infamy, but the stupid faggot that Acalamari is doesn't realise that. A good way to pwn Wikipedia would be to do Grawp-style vandalism, but move articles to titles that are redlinked in the WikiProject Missing Encylopedia Articles, so that the stupid cunt here actually protects potentially notable articles from ever being created, lol, denying Wikipedia's Did You Know? section of some of its potential content.

He is extremely preoccupied with being liked by everyone, and has a pathological need for validation from other Wikipedians. In fact, one might say that other than minor spelling fixes, the only thing Acalamari does on Wikipedia is socializing and doing things he thinks will make others like him. He randomly hands out the "rollback" privilege to people, and his talk page consists almost entirely of "thank you" notes for giving people rollback, or supporting them in their RfA (Acalamari doesn't have the guts to oppose anyone), or nominating them for adminship with a sugary-sweet nomination statement. He has had WikiCrushes on several female Wikpedians, including Persian Poet Gal, Natalie Erin and Phaedriel, but due to his wonderful and sweet Nice Guy attitude, his approaches have failed. But hey, he likes Everyking, so he can't be all bad!

In 2009 some shitty tabloid published a story about him and his activities on TOW, with his IRL name, pix and stuff but nobody bothered to add it here.

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