Akiane

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AH-KEE-AH-NUH
   
 
I have been blessed by God. And if I'm blessed, there is one reason and only one reason, and that is to help others
 

 
 

—Akiane

Child prodigy Akiane Kramarik was sent to earth by our lord Jesus Christ to spread a message of goodness and to end the world's suffering with divinely inspired art. Her poetry, drawings, and paintings, done in a style she has dubbed "imaginatism", are a shining light upon the world.

Featured on national television Akiane can be seen calling attention to the evils of the world how great she is, and will work God into everything she says. This is interesting considering that her parents are atheists, and she had no exposure to religion throughout her life, of 13 years. Her parents however have recently converted to Judaism in light of just how much people are willing to buy a horribly disproportionate (though cleverly shaded) story-book illustration of Jesus or unicorns.

Akiane lives in Post Falls Idaho and is a trademark of Akiane LLC (not kidding, look it up)

Akiane is an inspiration to tartlets everywhere, and hopes to one day grow up to fully realize her furry nature.


Divine Inspiration


   
 
God looks to me like a ball of light. He's really masculine, he's really strong and big, his eyes are just beautiful.
 

 
 

—Akiane, child prodigy


   
 
Hair of pure gold. Veil of pure energy. Face of pure beauty. What the angel gazes at is of eternal significance. Yet what it is has not been revealed to me.
 

 
 

—Akiane on herself

Love

Love is never alone
Love is always crowded
Love is the shared self

We cannot own our love
And we cannot teach our love

The longest breath of love
is the shortest distance to heaven

The deepest life is love
The deepest love is an embrace

Love is not rest
Love is peace
Love is the purpose

A typical poem by Akiane


Interviews with Akiane

What is your favorite food?


   
 
When half of the world goes to sleep hungry, my favorite food is the food I can share with others.
 

 
 

—Akiane

How do you feel about being famous?


   
 
ONLY GOD IS FAMOUS
 

 
 

—Akiane

How much does a typical painting sell for?


   
 
My self portrait sold for $10,000, a portion of which went to charity.
 

 
 

—Akiane

Her Website

Akiane's website is filled with Jew and pretentious fail, and is the only official place to buy god's merchandise.

Akiane official site1.png



Controversy

   
 
Some art experts do not believe Kramarik is the sole creator of the artwork published under her name, though they believe she may be completing the artwork to some degree. When reporters asked the family if they could record a video of her painting a small image from start to finish, they declined saying that it wouldn't be a fair representation of her work.
 

 
 

TOW

External Links


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