Alex Chiu

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What he looked like in the 90's.
File:Alexchiu.jpg
What he looks like in 2018. Notice the wrinkles and receding hairline. Those eternal youth rings sure are working, aren't they?


   
 
One day in year 2003, this guy showed up in my back yard begging for food. He became the love of my life ever since. I open 3 cans of cat food for him every meal, and I treat him well. If God wants me to choose between this guy or a beautiful woman like Hilary Duff, I will dump the girl and be with my cat.
 

 
 

— Chiu, confirming once and for all that he will die alone.


Alex Chiu is a batshit insane azn neo-Nazi snake-oil salesman and "inventor" of utterly nonsensical devices that either don't work in the slightest or straight up don't even exist. Alex Chiu was infamous during the days of dial-up for his self titled site that he literally hasn't updated at all since the 90's besides now including a link to his Jewtube channel. That website hawked what is still his biggest claim to fame: rings that supposedly give you eternal youth just by wearing them when you sleep. Despite being mocked for over a decade for how his imbecilic "invention" is a completely fraud and couldn't possibly work he not only still believes in his immortality rings but gets ludicrously butthurt whenever someone says they don't work or God forbid, demands a refund on the invention the great genius Alex Chiu selflessly created to give people physical immortality! In fact Alex was arrested in 2010 for not giving people refunds for his scam.

It really works!

Fuckin' magnets, how do they work?

This is his explanation for how his immortality rings quote unquote "work":

"When placing the magnetic devices, the magnetic pole on the right side of the human body is opposite to the left side. With a opposite pole on each side of the human body, blood circulation and electric current of the body are enhanced. The enhanced blood circulation and electric current increase metabolism in order to fight the aging process.

The Eternal Life Rings and The Eternal Life Foot Braces invented by Alex Chiu are believed to allow humans to stay physically young forever or turn humans physically younger, (Our lawyer told us to use the word "believe") as long as you wear the rings or foot braces every night during sleep."

Alex appears to be under the belief that magnets are magical and can do whatever the fuck he wants, considering he explains away every single impossible thing he lies about his devices being able to do with "LOL magnets did it".

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In case you thought we were being hyperbolic about Alex being a Nazi.
File:HITLERDIDNOTHINGWRONG.png
Yes folks, Alex is unironically trying to say Hitler did nothing wrong.

Other useless "inventions"

His most famous scam outside the immortality rings is the Gorgeouspil is a pill that can supposedly make you into a physically perfect and gorgeous human being by freeing up your body's chi flow via generating a magnetic flux throughout your entire body (weird how he still looks like a middle aged disheveled crack addicted homeless man despite supposedly inventing stuff that can make you both eternally young and supermodel beautiful in mere days, isn't it?). Conveniently this pill only works if you're also wearing the immortality rings that you already spent 39 dollars on.

Other failures he's shat out include the Super Chi Flush), a powder that flushes out diseases like cancer and herpes from your body with, you guessed it, magnets, as well as a [http://cellrealignment.com Cell Realignment machine. Notice how all his inventions do almost the exact same fucking thing, proving Alex isn't even creative with his scams.

Alex, trying desperately to convince people to buy his crap via clickbait thumbnails and E-begging.-

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Radio interview cock up

In a radio interview, a host asked Alex Chiu if he spoke Chinese since he is of Chinese descent. Alex Chiu, being a compulsive liar and utterly retarded in terms of foresight, said that he did indeed speak Chinese. The radio host said a few simple words to him in Chinese that any moron who had taken a remedial Chinese class or bothered to look it up on the internet would have understood. Sadly for Chiu, his only response was an epically lulzy protracted silence as his deceitfulness and idiocy was revealed yet again. They were Chinese words that even someone who only knew a local dialect would have known, so there was no reasonable excuse.

See also

External Links

Official sites:

Forums:

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Alex Chiu is related to a series on AZNS.

[Domo ArigatoHerrow]

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