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Allah

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God, as worshiped by the Muslims. The slogan "Allah Ackbar" translates literally from the Arabic as "Allah is (Admiral) Ackbar."

God, from Arabic transliteration. So actually there's no difference in saying "God" and "Allah", yet diseased mountain goats like Albanians still prefer the arabic version. Allah's religion is properly referred to as I Slam Beer or simply 'Islam' (Arabic for submission/rape; its adherents are called "Muslims", or sand heroes. The central tenet of Islam is that there are no other gods (e.g., Jesus, Raptor Jesus, Flying Spaghetti Monster, Cthulhu, Mudkips, Etc.) except for Allah and that Mohammad was his prophet. Allah inspires his fanboys around the world to become heroes in his holy name. Fewer fandoms have more devoted followers. See Islam


Contents

History

Way before the internets, Mohammad, a towelhead living in the city of Makkah in what is now Saudi Arabia, began to receive IMs from Allah, who was using the screenname "Jibril." The messages were mostly requests to cyber and a/s/l, but Mohammad saw the potential for epic trolling and lulz, so he compiled them into a gigantic Microsoft word document called qur'an.doc. Muhammad distributed it to his Myspace top 10(including Tom) who posted it to a bulletin, causing innumerable flame wars. Eventually, Jihad was declared upon Mr.Jesus. The purpose of which was to spread the word of Allah by any means necessary to the rest of the world.

Interesting Facts

  • Allah is the central focus of terrorism.
  • Allah promises 72 virgins (most likely traps) if you become an hero for him (Read the Qu'ran for handy bomb making tips, and ways to becoming an hero).
  • Allah planned 9/11, and then blamed a mentally retarded Jew named Osama Bin Laden who couldn't tell a bomb from his own left testicle.
  • Although forbids the depiction of Mohammad in art, he is commonly depicted in much of the Danish press as an elderly man with a beard, towels wrapped around his head, and a bomb jacket strapped to him.
  • In a dream, Mohammad was told by Allah to inform the people that in his honor they shall serve Allah-Carte in all cafeterias in the holy land.
  • On 3rd May 2006, Allah became an officially certified pagan moon god.
  • Every time Wimpy Kid says bismillah, Allah will go to the Wimpy Kid and bang the Wimpy Kid in the butt.
  • Allah works in a black cubicle in Mecca, except for Friday, on Friday he answers prayers and customer complanits.
  • Allah is a cousin of Nurgle, and the Brother of Horus.

Friends of Allah

The name of Allah appears mysteriously on a Burger King label in England.




Things Allah Hates

Mohammad was not Allah's son, but Mohammad Ali possibly was.


Things Done in the Name of Allah

Things Done by Jews

See Also


Allah
is part of a series on
Islam
Gaymuslim.jpg
Tro0 Muslims
Countries & Peoples

AfghanistanAlbania • Algeria • Arabs • Azerbaijan • Bahrain • Bangladesh • Bosnia & Herzegovina • Brunei • Burkina Faso • Chad • Comoros • Djibouti • East TurkestanEgypt • Eritrea • Guinea • Guinea-Bissau • IndonesiaIranIraqThe Islamic State Of Iraq and Sham • Jordan • KazakhstanKosovoKuwait • Kyrgyzstan • LebanonLibyaMalaysia • Maldives • Mali • Mauritania • Morocco • NigerNigeria • Oman • PakistanPalestine • Qatar • Saudi Arabia • Senegal • Sierra LeoneSomaliaSpainSudanSyriaTajikistan • The Gambia • TunisiaTurkey • Turkmenistan • United Arab Emirates • Uzbekistan • Western Sahara • Yemen

Beliefs, Events, Traditions & Other Drama
Infidels & Islamic No-Nos
Portal truth.png

Allah is part of a series on

Truth

Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.

Allah is part of a series on Abnormal Psych
DrHouseArt.png Mental illness

AcrotomophiliaAquaphiliaArborphiliaBalloon FetishBimboficationDick ImpalementEproctophiliaExtreme PornFat Admirer (Female Fat Admirer) • Fat furryFetishFoot FetishFurniture PornFurryGoo girlHomosexualityInflation FetishNecrophiliaMpregLesbian pedophiliaPedophiliaPregnant LoliPregnophiliaPussy WhipQuicksand FetishSickfuckeryStatuephiliaTulpaVorarephilia

Sites:

Above Top SecretB/Bodies Under SiegeCYOCChatrouletteDefense Industries OrganizationDeekerFoolQuest.comInkBunnyNeuticles.comPsyke.org

Psychos:

Alan The PandaBurning ManBubs4696ChupacabraCl0r0xCrystal Head VodkaDamaronDerrick BirdDianna KirklandDiego GrezDisney PrincesDolcettDonna SimpsonDonut GirlDouglas SpinkDoutainiDragoneerDustin DiamondEric W. SchwartzEpic Beard ManEmo Cutter GirlFCYTravisFelice FawnGeek SquadJesus TortillaKenny Glenn The Animal AbuserKevin Havens (his dolls) • Kevin L. O'BrienKimmo Johan AlmShaye Saint John
Moar Info: List of Psychopaths

See also:

AngerASMRAssassinationChild abuseDesperateDomestic violenceFan deathKidnappingMilitarySerial Killers

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