Allan Bell

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Allan Bell is a blue blooded wanker from the Isle of Man. Just look at that shit grin.

Allan Robert Bell MHK (Born 20 June, 1945) is a Manx politician affectionately known as tinkerbell by some, who is the current Chief Dickhead of the Isle of Man, having been elected to that position on 11 October 2011 (ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED).

Early Years

Born to two bisexual chavs in the 40's, Bell was raised by seven horny brothers in a flat in lower Essex. As a child, he learned how to scam his fellow Gypsies with fake land deeds and work commissions. It was during this time that he found that he harbored a profound love for government corruption. After going to primary school at some posh whorehouse, he ended up in banking and clothing retail.

After serving as the Minister of Treasury from 2001-2010, he decided to settle down with a harem of 12 year old boys. When wanking little boys didn't please him anymore, he elected himself Chief Minister of Gypsyland, UK

Chief Minister of Real Estate

BLAH BLAH BLAH, I strong-armed people to build whorehouses


—Allan Bell, and by "strong-armed" he means feeding his dick to their children

Now we know why he lives on the Isle of Man(WINK WINK, NUDGE NUDGE

While Allan was the Minister of Tourism (nobody goes to the Isle of Men), he basically fucked himself in 2003 by leaning on his local planning office to get porn shops, dive bars and Whorehouses built. They stated: "It was the Minister for Tourism, acting in undesirably close alliance with the developer, who ensured that the proposal received planning approval. He did this by applying unacceptable pressure to officers in a weak planning office"

TL;DR He fucked some wives of betafags in the planning office and threatened to release pictures to the public if they didn't do what he asked.

He rarely addressed the Gypsyfolk. Instead, he arranged near daily television broadcasts of late night wank sessions where he lay on his back with his legs up, attempting to suck his own cock while fingering his ass before ejaculating all over the place. He then, would staple pictures of Big Ben on his cock while smoking crack from a glass pipe fashioned to look like the Queen.

Current Lulzery

Allan still currently resides as Head Jew Minister of NobodyGivesAShit, UK. He will probably die from HyperAids before someone tries to take his spot.


See Also

Allan Bell
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