Ana 4 avril

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"daddys drunk again. how many calories are there in a mouthful of blood and teeth?"

Ana 4 Avril was possibly the best thing on LJ, ever. Created in 2000 by Princessryo, Wildkarrdex & fear, Ana_4_Avril was designed to take much of the work out of trolling by getting the victims to come to the trollers, like particularly retarded lambs to the slaughter.

By creating a community that celebrated two social and mental ills - pro-anorexics and Avril Lavigne fandom - ana_4_avril attracted all kinds of morons incapable of detecting the joke. It started out with fairly standard posts about weight loss, vomiting technique (bulimics were equally welcome in ana_4_avril) and thinspiration. But as more and more people turned up to encourage/discourage/mock the community, things started getting odder.

Things get strange


"Uh-oh. I'm pregnant again. Guess it's time to get drunk and fall down some steps!"

Realizing that the anorexic thing can only go so far, people started coming up with more interesting problems - maybe one of the "girls" had been impregnated by her lazy stoner boyfriend or - worse - her lazy stoner boyfriend had admitted to not liking Avril Lavigne. Maybe she'd sleepwalked and accidentally eaten an entire tub of butter. Or maybe she'd just sexually experimented with a family pet.

Whatever situation was cooked up for the ana_4_avril girls, the assorted whiners and non-diners that had made ana_4_avril their regular morning visit believed it totally. The pro-ana/Avril losers would dive in with advice on relationships, music, purging and how jacking off a dog is gross, while the anti-ana/Avril losers would start shouting about right to life, "real" punk (Blink 182, oddly), eating and how jacking off a dog is gross.

None of them actually seemed to be able to figure out that it was a joke. Something needed to be done.

Things get worse

"ACTUALLY daddy says it's not inbreeding if you don't have a baby. =^_^="

That something was to make the ana_4_Avril girls really fucked up. Tales of abusive, alcoholic parentage came to the fore. Stories of consensual incest. Abortion via coathanger and gin. Wanting to marry the family dog, then murdering him when you see him with "some labrador bitch". Wounded psyches exposed. Nerve-endings laid bare. A snail crawling along the edge of a straight razor. The horror. The horror...

But morons being morons, ana_4_avril's rapidly growing fanbase still believed it. Oh, sure, one or two figured it out, but there was always another gullible sap ready to take their place. OH NO MURDERING A DOG IS TAKING A LIFE!!! HOW COULD YOU???

Ana Macht Frei


"my techer showed us some pix of the holocorst which daddy says didnt happen. why is everyone so angry about it???? it sounds like a efectiv fat camp!!!!!!"

But of course, the dumber the audience got the worse the posting became. A whole new low was reached when one user posted a picture of a starving African child as thinspiration. Soon it was followed with shots of Jews in concentration camps and desiccated holocaust corpses. The ana_4_avril "girls" became angry that the Jews were still complaining about it - they got an awesome weight loss program for free and didn't even have to hide it from their parents. How could they be so selfish? Maybe this Hitler guy had the right idea after all...

Soon Hitler had become revered as a pro-ana benefactor and pictures of a Nazified Avril were starting to appear.

Death and the afterlife

"This account has been either temporarily or permanently suspended."


So of course LJ Abuse jumped right in and shut the whole thing down. Attempts were made to bring the community back with avril__4__ana and avril ___4___ana but eventually the forces of taste won and it was closed for good, which is probably best for the karmas of all concerned.

Sadly, the dramatic return of ana4avril in 2004 quickly collapsed as everyone realized they couldn't be bothered any more, and in any case someone let the cat out of the bag on an early comments page. The mooted follow-up, furries_4_fascism, will sadly probably never see the light of day.

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Featured article November 17, 2005
Preceded by
Asperger's Syndrome
Ana 4 avril Succeeded by