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Anders Behring Breivik
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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| Born | February 13, 1979 |
| Nationality | Björk Björk |
| Highscore | Killed Injured |
| Style | FPS, Single Player / Bomberman |
| An Hero | No (Surrendered) |
| Title | Justiciar Knight Commander of the Knights Templar |
| Rank | 1st Place!11! 2nd: Woo Bum-kon 3rd: Martin Bryant 4th: Cho Seung-Hui 14th: Tim Kretschmer 17th: Nidal Malik Hasan |
The Justiciar Knight Sir Anders Behring Breivik is a Norwegian social commentator, raging Christfag, Zionist IRL troll and a pretty cool guy who became a national hero on 22 July 2011 by getting a new high score. Being a kike-loving knight who killed nothing but Aryan cultural Marxists (named Mohammed), Sir Anders is widely believed to have initiated the first double-reverse lollercaust. Perhaps the leading irony of his crusade against socialism is that the 'punishment' for his crimes will be no more than spending the next twenty years in a state-paid hotel, thanks to Norway's socialist laws and leftard soft-on-crime attitude. Ultra-mega-hyper trolling achieved.
Some media outlets are claiming a total tally of 8 for the bomberman mode and 68 for the FPS camper survival mode, thus putting Sir Anders ahead of Cho's all time high score and attaining a L-L-L-Ludicrous kill, together with returning the pride to Europe after years of American supremacy.
While he didn't pussy out and an hero, he did pussy out by surrendering instead of building a MacGuyver style helicopter and airlifting out. Hell, it took the police two hours to show up and MacGuyver's only an hour long show. Current theory suggests he wanted to be captured so that we may all know his name and properly credit him with the new largest number of IRL frags.
In the trial he also stated that wikipedia was his greatest inspiration to do what he did, which shows that wikipedia is for once useful for something.
Contents |
Humble beginnings
In the years prior to his blaze of glory, Anders tried repeatedly to become a successful businesswoman. After running several shady companies into the ground, he instead decided to move into his mother's basement, where he would spend his days playing World of Warcraft and Call of Duty, while planning his bloody revenge on the filthy Muslims and Communists who were clearly to blame for his utter lack of success.
But unlike other reclusive, smelly weirdos with failed dreams of greatness, Mr. Breivik could indeed both talk the talk and walk the walk, and after 8 years of planning and scheming, he was finally ready to immortalize himself.
The plan of attack: How do I shot 69 campers?
Primary weapon:- Ruger Mini-14 rifle with holographic sight
Secondary weapon:- Glock 17 pistol with Extended mags
Equipment:- C4 (Fertilizer bomb IRL)
- Perk 1: UAV Jammer (police uniform IRL)
- Perk 2: Stopping power (because he used hollow point bullets IRL, lol n00b)
- Perk 3: Double tap
Sir Anders initiated his quest for the high score by detonating a fertilizer bomb in downtown Oslo. He then dressed up as a policeman and went behind enemy lines like a spy. Pretending to secure the area following the initial explosion, he escaped the blast zone and made his way to Utopya Island where the viking commies hold their annual bacchanalia. Smiling genially, he invited his victims to gather round (they believed he was a policeman coming to save them) before unloading on them with his Ruger Mini-14 rifle and Glock 17 pistol.
His battle plan (3 years in the making!) was masterful, demonstrating the strategic acumen and tactical know-how of a latter-day Napoleon. He selected a remote island battlefield which both delayed reinforcements and prevented the retreat of the enemy socialists who were asking for it. He then created a diversion, donned camouflage, and finally, with surprise on his side, he struck.
The attack was an all-out success. With help arriving in a timely fashion (90 minutes later), Sir Anders could take his sweet time, search every tent, climb every hill, snipe every swimmer, chase the enemy looney tunes-style up and down every path, and double tap anyone lying on the ground to be extra sure - which came in handy since a lot of them pretended to be dead. The 600 category A and B traitors on the island were completely helpless before our hero's shattering onslaught.
Graded Score
| Graded score | |
|---|---|
| Kills: | 77/20 (57 Extra kills) |
| Accuracy: | 17/20 |
| Style: | 18/20 bonus for bombing & island trap |
| Butthurt: | 20/20 |
| Bonus: | 18/20 Reduced Prison Sentence |
| Total score: 150/100 (S) | |
Police action
- Special forces arrive at the Oslo explosion site.
- Campers call the police and all they get is a 'shut the fuck up and clear the lines'.
- After at least 100 calls the local police realize something's up, but wait 8 minutes to finish their coffee and donuts.
- Special forces are dispatched to the island. They choose to drive.
- Smokey the Bear abandons the campers.
- 30 minutes later they arrive at the lake shore.
- They jump into the toy boat that had been prepared for them in advance, which shuts down half way across the water.
- An hour and a half after the first shots were fired they get to the island and find Anders bored and waiting for them.
His manifesto
He plagiarized parts of it from the Unabomber.
Video
Quotes from the 1500 page manifesto
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Misc. quotes
| —His sole post on Twitter | ||
| — A humble Sir Anders accepts his sentence. | ||
The irony of it all
The death of Amy Winehouse probably won't get any attention at all. This man has done us a favor. Sadly, she got way more hits and much more BAWWWWWing than Norway over her tragic death. On the bright side, she's dead now.
JEWS DID 7-22
Main article: Jews Did WTC. Do the math yourself: 9 - 2 = 7, 11 * 2 = 22. 9/11 times 2 = 7/22.
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Use scrollbar to see the full image
Sø Cåsh!
Hey Faggots,
My name is Anders, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are multicultural Muslim socialists who spend every second of your day defiling the European master race. You are everything bad in Europe. Honestly, have any of you ever killed any category A traitors? I mean, I guess it’s fun mixing with Muslims because of your own insecurities, but you all take this to a whole new level. This is even worse than not being blond.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I am a body builder, a Justiciar Knight and a 5th level Freemason. What revolutionary action did you take, other than “posting on an image board”? I also have a full epic resto druid and a filthy Muslim socialist (I've just killed her; Shit was SO cash). You are all category Z multicultural candy-asses who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It’s me and my socialist victim.
Dox
Name: Sir Anders Behring Breivik
Address: Hoffsveien 18
Zip: 0275
City: Oslo
Country: Norway
Phones: +47 900 87 334 / +47 22 44 78 53
Scratch the above.
It is unconstitutional for them vikings to keep their inmates incommunicado. Send the knight your thanks to Halden Prison, Norway
Main Address: KRIMINALOMSORGEN HALDEN FENGSEL POSTBOKS 694 4305 SANDNES
Office Address: KRIMINALOMSORGEN HALDEN FENGSEL Justisveien 10 1789 BERG I ØSTFOLD
Address to contact inmates like Sir Anders, the justiciar: KRIMINALOMSORGEN HALDEN FENGSEL Pb. 1094 1787 BERG I ØSTFOLD
Telefon: +47 69 21 46 00
Besøkstelefon: +47 69 21 46 51
E-post: [email protected]
(be sure to specify it is against their inmates human rights not to allow them communication with the outside world.) Indeed it is. Anders hasn't been held incommunicado at least since the trial ended. Feel free to send a letter of admiration and/or your slightly used underpants (white girls only).
The Spa years
Breivik's plan includes a two decade seclusion into a luxury resort on an island among the fjords. There he'll be able to practice potato agriculture, maybe write the second part to his manifesto and fight Cultural Marxism in the library while sipping a Cappuccino courtesy of every grateful Norwegian taxpayer.
Music
The music accompanying the propaganda video which Breivik uploaded to video sharing sites including YouTube at the same time that he published his manifesto, comes from the Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures soundtrack. Breivik writes of Bøksle's voice that it is the perfect sound to listen to when one commits acts of martyrdom. During his trial he also testified that he uses this music, particularly the song "Ere the World Crumbles" when he meditates, as he did in preparation for his attacks.
Gallery
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Commemoration ceremony disrupted by infamous blogger
A commemoration ceremony in Liverpool was disrupted[1] by the infamous blogger Erik Ribsskog. Erik (41) is reported to have shouted several times, "followed by mafia, don't get rights." He also held up a poster with the text "Followed by mafia. Don't get rights. Protest."
See also
- Norway
- High score
- Columbine
- Virginia Tech
- Liberalism
- Charles Whitman
- Mark Essex
- Nevada-tan
- Ali Sina
- Aurora Theatre Shooting
- Dragon Age II - Also features a charming, blonde mass murderer called Anders.
External links
Personal accounts
Other shit
- Victim account of the events
- His manifesto
- The video he uploaded to Youtube before the shooting
- The victims Amongst them were many filthy hippies & emokids, doubling the win.
- New Formula 1 racing-team announced.
| Anders Behring Breivik is part of a series on Terrorists |
Big Players Osama Bin Laden
• Dnepropetrovsk maniacs
• John Walker Lindh
• Muslims
• George W Bush
• Barack Obama
• Grog
• Unabomber
• Cho Seung-Hui
• Michael Moore
• Mohamed Abdulaziz Rashid Saeed-Alim
• The Finnisher
• Matthew Murray
• Robert Hawkins
• Timothy McVeigh
• Anders Behring Breivik
• Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi
• The Unabrower Terrorist Groups, Beliefs and Causes Arab
• Axis of Evil
• Binghampton
• Iran
• Ireland
• Islam
• Pakistan
• Palestine
• Sudan Terrorist Actions Waco • WTC • Beheading videos • Binghampton Tet Offensive • Boston Marathon Bombing • Columbine • ATHF Terrorist Attack • VTech • Oklahoma City Bombing • Delaware State University Shooting • Police Brutality • Narcovideos • Nitroglycerin • Occupy Wall Street You can help improve Encyclopedia Dramatica by adding more and more awesome explosions and killers of civilians. |
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| | Spree/One-time Killers: |
Adam Lanza • Anders Behring Breivik • Casey Anthony • Gerry McCann • Cho Seung-Hui • Tyler Peterson • Mark Essex • Dylan Klebold • Eric Harris • Maurice Clemmons • Aaron Alexis • Bruce Jeffrey Pardo • Elliot Rodger • George Sodini • Jiverly Voong • Malik Nadal Hasan • Jared Lee Loughner • Jeff Weise • Joe Stack • Josef Fritzl • Jason Rodriguez • Martin Bryant • Matthew de Grood • Matti Saari • Matthew Murray • Pekka-Eric Auvinen • Wade Michael Page • Theodore "The Unabomber" Kaczynski • Tim Kretschmer • TJ Lane • Robert Hawkins • Raoul Moat • Alex Hribal |
|---|---|---|
| Career/Serial Killers: |
Charles Manson • Chris Benoit • Hitler • Mao Zedong • Jack the Ripper • James Holmes • Richard "The Iceman" Kuklinski • Ted Bundy • Jeffrey Dahmer | |
| Terrorists: |
Al-Qaeda • Dzhokar Tsarnaev • Tamerlan Tsarnaev • Osama Bin Laden | |
| See also: |
Antisocial personality disorder • Paranoid personality disorder • Sick fuck • Murder • Jews • Police Brutality |
| Featured article July 25 & July 26, 2011 | ||
| Preceded by Amy Winehouse | Anders Behring Breivik | Succeeded by PeanutFreeMom |






