Aneros

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The future is now. You knew it was going to happen sooner or later. It has become en vogue for straight men, such as yourself to stick things up their bum for sexual pleasure. Welcome to the world of Aneros, the $80 piece of plastic that is showing straight men what they've been missing. It was developed by The Aneros Company for the purpose of over-sexing the world into a state of frenzy so they can gain control. Who knows what diabolical scheme they may have in store. It won't be long, the Japanese have already accepted Aneros as Their Lord and Saviour.

The Super-O Propaganda

Super Orgasm will become the hallucinogen that consumes us

Aneros promises sexual fulfillment by stimulating the Male G-Spot. When you squeeze your shit scissor the lumpy plastic dong pushes against your prostate, eventually achieving orgasm. Its hands free operation makes one handed surfing no longer the only option. The workers of the world will stop masturbating in the bathrooms at their offices, and masturbate at will while working. The Fapomania caused by these promised "Super Orgasms" lead to ego death, and production world wide will slowly grind to a halt. The battle will be over.

   
 
We've had customers tell us that in the midst of these "Super-Orgasms" their beds shake uncontrollably, they lose all sense of time, and make "fierce" animal noises.
 

 
 

The plot unfolds

Dog Knot vs. Aneros
Part of a Greater Conspiracy?

Fur Faggotry is part of the summary plot. Much more easy and less embarrassing to purchase than the traditional dog knot, Furries will assimilate into this new sexual culture quickly. After all, they already make "fierce animal noises". As furries spread AIDS due to the expanded sympathetic audience, Fur Faggotry will bring common social skills to their knees, reducing us all to sweaty over-sexed Neanderthals in Beastpaint.

Japan

330 pages of Moonspeak devoted to Aneros and its uses.

The Enemagra, as the Aneros is known to the Japanese, has taken hold most quickly in Japan. Due to their lack of a human soul, the Japanese quickly succumb to the Aneros' wiles wills. They have started splitting off into clubs and have begun worshiping their new idol. This will eventually spread into Korea and join with Raelian Making an unstoppable force known as a "Super Cult".

Reviews

…last night was just unbelievable. I finally got into such a relaxed trance like state that it felt like I was awake and having the most intense wet dream ever! …last night I got so relaxed that I felt like I was just floating away and I forgot about everything around me and that's when it happened. I mean I could not stop cumming! The contractions were rapid fire one after the other and it felt un-f***ing believable. I was even thinking to myself while it was happening that this wasn't possible because it felt so unreal. It just took over and it felt like I was 15 again and I was awake and I was having a wet dream, but it lasted for like 1/2 an hour and it was incredibly intense. I can't wait to do it again! … I just can't describe how awesome it felt!!!!!!!!!!I was just laying on my side in the fetal position and the contractions were going through my whole body. I didn't make any noise, but it was like somebody turned on a magic button and I came so hard and so long like nothing I have ever experienced before. I had no idea the body was capable of such a high degree of pleasure! I can best describe it as a machine gun orgasm that just would not quit and kept getting more intense as I floated more into a trance. I finally had to come out of it because I just could not take it anymore, that's how intense it got and I was just plain getting worn out because my whole body was completely drained of all it's energy and I had to go to sleep. Wow! Best sex toy ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lulz potential

The Aneros is a HUEG mine of Lulz. You can go to the official forum and call everyone liars and the Aneros a scam, and watch as the asshole toy fanboys post TL;DR responses about how you're "close-minded", "republican" or "no, u suk" replies. Another way to troll the community is to pose on craigslist as a "prostate massage therapist" and then post the addresses of everyone who responds to /b/. Just make sure you aren't from Washington.

Gallery

See Also

[Close them downOpen the records]
Aneros is part of a series on Cults
UFO Cults: ScientologyGalactic Federation of LightHeaven's GateRaeliansNibiru
New-age Faggotry:

WiccaThe DolmenMooniesPaganismBlack AlchemyFagnosticismPrem RawatVoluntary Human Extinction MovementThothRon Paul

Raep cults: SatanismManson FamilyMasonsAl Qaeda
Jesus Cults: Ex-GayWestboro Baptist ChurchMormonismBranch DavidiansPeople's TempleChick Tracts
Wannabe Cults: SephyismSonic CulTVampiresGothsFurriesMulderiteWooksBroniesLibertariansFeminismSJWs
Stupid Cults: ScientologyAtheismBreatharianMichelle Belanger/House KheperuSonic PassionHighgate Vampire, the
Troll Cults: AnonymousCult of the Dead CowRaptor JesusJohn SolomonChurch of the SubGeniusDiscordianism
Web 2.0 Cults: Atheist Scum UnitedRational Response SquadWikipediaYoung Tubers UnitedRationalWikiKony 2012Kiwi Farms
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