Anime News Network

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
   
 
"The opinions expressed herein do not necessarily represent those of Anime News Network."
 

 
 

hahaha, oh wow, you aren't getting us with that shit. We've seen the fucktardary of GamerGate, Zoe Quinn, and Kotaku. We know what goes on at those sexually and ego frustrated nerd run geek journalism sites. You can't fool us with that shit, even since 2007. lawwll

Anime News Network is essentially the Kotaku of all of Anime news when it hits the United States of America or the United Kingdom or Canada or where the fuck ever they speak english. Though they claim themselves the "The Internet's Most Trusted Anime News Source", it's been documented, polled, and researched heavily that anyone with half of a brain and no one with a conscience would ever come to receive their news here. Just like Fox News, their agenda revolves heavily around:

  • enforcing people to buy Anime DVDs in the face of a failing market and the rise of digital media, when not realizing that entertainment from another country has its prerogative on pleasing its home nation, has its own socio-cultural interpretations in other nations, and that they aren't in that nation,
  • demonizing and hetrodoxying the act of online digital distribution by torrents and fansites, when early history of anime reaching the western world was by these fangroups and "piracy", and that making money in the US is a second thought for those who create anime in Japan,
  • through the influence of Zac Bertschy, attempt to ban all moeh animu because they believe that another country should have every right and word in to sway and dictate what the home nation of anime should push out,
  • forgetting the fact that their job is little much to just being a glorified foreign anime connoisseur, and that they are in a conundrum that the world they live in doesn't produce animu or mangao,
  • halfassed and cocksucker esque attempts to make the anime fandom population look like "normal people" when all they gather are elitist forum lurkers, remain in self-denial in the truth that their hobby have roots through ostracization and social exclusion, and that they are desperately attempting to make any grab for attention and social acceptance,
  • through their reviews and even previews, like anything on IGN, comprise of little expert criterion, understanding of the local culture, a second's skimming of the content, and like any other western media and theater centered places that lack any understanding of other "barbaric and savagery nations that don't have culture", skew the review in their viewpoint,
  • ironically discourage the global interactivity with those who would like to adopt the anime style, unabashedly and baselessly criticize those who do it well to get a pretty penny out of it, and encourage such hate because their staff are Japanese purist hypocrite weeaboos that like to think they have a well broad basis and formation of anime and artistic appreciation, when they are really nerds who live out of their basement and indulge in the septic tank of their delusional sunshine of the mind,
  • through associations with an underground bitter nerd run anime fansite, further run a self centered agenda and encourage the worst of fandom hobby behavior, especially to those who do go to their forums unsupervised at a young age.

The truth stings, don't it?

Their main shit they dump out

ANN is a major shitdump of asspulls, skimpy reviewing, and audience appeasing garbage used to cater to a specific target audience, much like how Fox News caters to conservatives in the USA, in this case, snarky smartass pedantic basement dwelling nerds of emotional messes. For the longest time, Zac Bertchsy has been a big part of the site, ever since Web 1.0, and because we all know that nerds who get angry over how time passes and things change and act like a bunch of inept fucking losers with nothing but hobbies to make emotional crutches from, you can see throughout the years of an example of one big loser's descent into shithead nepotistic power abusing fuckery by controlling news sources and informational outlets.

Other than that diatribe, we also have:

The X Button

Run by a reject of a loser asshole video game magazine writer by the name of Todd, The X Button is a video game periodical meant to inspire such classic examples of testosterone and fandom whoring neanderthal shit throwing territorialism (as if regular video game magazines weren't enough) and to appease those who wash their anime feast with another helping of video games. Don't even bother reading this shit; Todd is wonderful enough to put snarky bullshit scrollovers over pictures and even goes as far as interjecting personal preferences and associating with Colony Drop like any Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold inspired nihilistic vindictive genitalless waste of fuckjizz.

Answerman

The "yes man" to their site, Answerman is a periodical piece meant for brainwashing unsuspecting newcomers into their bullshit. All articles consist of half legitimate research, half bias and mentality breeding personal projection. Fun fact, Zac Berstchy was once the title Answerman before he was forced to leave because of him getting Kodomo no Jikan banned. Nowadays he's replaced by some other guy who carries on the ANN agenda of overtly pushing for DVD sales and claiming how weird Japan is.

Notable Staff

Other than proving that nerds who live in their basement do not make for good writers and reporters in the fields of reporting and journalism, ANN is also of such fecal caliber that they hire people from the ass end of internet garbage such as That Guy with the Glasses for quality reviewing and gatekeeping the US foothold of anime distribution. Keep it classy, ANN.

Kaylyn "Marzgurl" Dicksion

Marzgurl's appeal to anime fans derives from her sharp intellect and incisive analyses, as can be seen in this photo taken in her pre-dyke days.
What fans won't do these days.

Kaylyn Dicksion, TGWTG's obligatory weeaboo dyke dwelling in some rock near San Antonio, TX, spends the majority of her time blithering about her latest convention attendance and ranting about why cartoons/animation suck these days besides anime. If you don't love anime, then she'll h8 you. In addition to being a writer for Anime News Network, her latest series, "Anime News Editorial", is about as entertaining as nailing your dick to a wooden plank, and she continues to ramble on about some piece of anime news that 99.9% of the rest of the world doesn't give a shit about. While she's not blabbering about being able to go to Japan while all of you losers can't, she is bitching out the fans who watch her videos about manga being taken down from the internets because it's illegal to scan and translate them. She has done this three times now. CRY SOME MOAR. This may cause lulz to ensue if she keeps this up.

She's also cool with being 34'ed as evidenced here, which appears to redeem her shitty character, but anyone with an IQ of room temperature would know that's like being cool with someone taking a bat to your totalled car. What's the fun in that?

Hope "Harry Jesuotaku" Chapman

Zac Bertschy

Other than proving that nepotism is still strong and exists, he is also a professional anime fan screaming loser of a dickless nerd anime fan who loves to engage in screaming at fans that don't meet his criterias online. Other than that, we have an entire article on him. That says much about him.

Animu Neus Nina

Anime News Nina is a classic example of shit webcomicing and proving that those who shit on people who legitimately spend time drawing anime shouldn't take shit from losers who enjoy the hobby of pecking order deuce dumping. It's essentially the garbage that all unfunny webcomics pull out of their inner fermented trash selves to garner attention simply because it's a webcomic, about a "magical anime news elf" who teams up with two unfunny sidekicks in a shitty nihilistic world worthy of seeing Violence Jack levels of ultraviolence and the writer's head being smashed open like a watermelon. SPOILERS The group all get to go to Japan, the land of weeaboo paradise. The End. If there was a word to describe this webcomic, it can't exist, because not even the word Trite wants to even touch this fucking bland bleakeyed insipid nepotistic shit drawn by Zac's sister Robin in shit and lathed with black sludge of what was once a human heart.

Anime News Network Forums

Hah. Ever wanted to know what the definition of cultural imposition and full on clueless double standard hypocrite retard is? It would have to be the Anime News Network Forumgoer.

Ever since this place started you can bet your ass that it's been plenty rife with western weeb anime diehards who dare to claim that they are "so helpful and kind and humble" but infact are the same bunch of self righteous clueless pedantic elite standing driven faggots who ironically do rot their brains with ignorance than taking a foot outside, and dare them to actually do, take the steps to be who they pass themselves off as. And believe us, this exemplifies when you get something like a serious topic going on, especially when it's about where their anime came from. Cultural differences? Understanding? Doing away with bias to get a clear picture? Such things are alien when you present it to these bunch of waterbrained ego driven perspective blind morons. Even other anime fans scoff on these faggots and wish them a nice life before they outright fuck up that notion entirely.

Some very notable examples and overviews:

  • Anime News Network Forumgoers debate on what to do about Japan's population decline
    • Some bring up good points, like how living on an island nation isn't great for overpopulation with millions and the trend of post economic development
    • Others are faggots in wanting to "save Japan" while living overseas where this will not affect them one bit
    • Said "saving" includes sinking Japan into social turmoil like with Sweeden and Muslim immigrants and forcing them to adopt US/Western customs
    • As typical per topic, you have that one faggot who can't surpress his yellow fever and sticks his cock into his computer
  • Anime News Network Forumgoers debate on what to do about Japan's "Overwork" culture
    • Most fags yap about how "wow japan is not like america can it be more like america"
    • As usual, mods lap up their own self satisfaction before intervening several pages too late
    • And as usual mods interject their own perspectives, instead of doing their fucking jobs (no wonder why Japan doesn't give a fuck, it's to not to be like them)
  • Also, Answerman is a complete fucking tool and is just as much of a culturally clueless bleeding heart democrat realpolitik fag as Zac Berscthy but guilty of racism like any shithead fuckass crazy republican asshat

The Anime News Network Herd Mentality

If you ever wanted something that defined the term "dick sucking trend following pedantic", then you'll find it here right on ANN. Anime News Network users are abject and complete losers who think that using their sense of self depreciation and irony will help them be protected against being called a weeaboo. Surprise surprise, ANN herders are still losers but that of an even greater degree, and define the term "bitch to the grind" so well that they are no better than the fake nerds who skim slurp on the surface of geekdom and alternative subculture. ANN herders will:

  • Tend to think that anime is a pure unique Japanese thing only, and will fight to the death to keep it that way
  • Cherrypick anything they like about Japanese culture.... and then make fun of anything that doesn't fit their criterias of cool and in, a beaming example of openmindedness and want to understand the world as a whole
  • Openly display backhanded jingoistic ethnocentrism and political far left hypocritical faggotry, including yapping about how Japan is still soooo backwards to the United States whenever sensationalism is ever brought up, while touting how much bad things don't happen in their own
  • Worry still about what the outside world thinks of them, and still participate in their shitty corpse filled rat race excuse of a society
  • Attack anyone who doesn't think like them
  • Adhere to their own mindsets and beliefs into such a callous hardness to be simply known as right

ANN? Getting haxxord in 2017? It's more likely than you think

As of August 8th, 2017, ANN got taken DOWN' harder than a date rapist on prom night. The hacker promptly social engineered his way through to the main CEO's account, and then proceeded to DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING by taking over the domain name and URL. Everything that ANN is got replaced by are a pretty black starry night sky background with moving clouds, text showcasing the words "anime" along with your local time, and a rap song by the name of "Like A Nigga". Truly, this is a work of art, a profound statement meant to showcase backlash and spit out revolutionary ideals. It's as if it exemplifies everything Anime News Network aims for as a news source to direct the current anime industry into: a blank, meaningless work of artsy fartsy pretentious garbage that panders to everyone, rather than an artform that stands out and gives no fucks, even if we of ED make fun of it to no end.

While many speculate what the hacker was motivated by Zac Berstchy giving one of his favorite animes a bad review, or was just a plain old troll, in honesty, it's not very hard to see many of the complaints, outlash, revulsion, and distaste against Anime News Network, including:

  • A userbase consisting of yes men and sycophants that worship the prudish, snooty, uptight, snobbish, elitist, and draconian ideals on anime and manga like their site's writers, and will and can swarm on anyone who has even a slight difference in opinion
  • Moderators and Administrators that constantly shield and aid their hivemind
  • Reviewers who treat sex and romance like anathema faster than Christian Media Watchdogs like For The Family
  • A site that allows nepotism and underhanded hiring practices
  • An underhanded agenda for SJW fascism since Hope Chapman changed his gender
  • A site whose writer base claim Moe anime is nothing but and is only pedobait
  • A news reporting site that is really bad at hiding bias than actual reporting
  • Complete shitheads who are whitewashing anime and manga worse than 4Kids

And on a final note from us at ED, while Like A Nigga was pretty good to troll ANN and its userbase, nothing said it better than the one, the only, the classic: Micheal Jackson.


ANN Shit


Portal anime.png

Anime News Network is part of a series on

Anime

Visit the Anime Portal for complete coverage.

Portal truth.png

Anime News Network is part of a series on

Truth

Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.

TGWTGlogo.png

Anime News Network is part of the TGWTG Circle-jerk

Circlejerk: That Guy With The GlassesDoug WalkerJewWarioLinkaraThe Spoony ExperimentScrewAttack/Former TalentAngry JoeTodd in the ShadowsNostalgia ChickJesuotakuAnime News Network
Enemies: AsalieriScrewAttack