Anti vegan

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Vegans and animal rights activists rank among the most retarded and whiniest people both IRL and OL - so you would think hating them would be both easy and extremely funny. However thanks to the magic of livejournal, there lurks a group which managed to fuck even that up.

The Community

Is it possible to be so self-righteous and petty you make a PETAfag look normal? Sadly yes, yes it is.

Anti vegan is childfree for people who hate people who don't eat meat, replacing "moo" and "crotchdropping" with "vegan-nazi" and kept all the same banal rants. Somewhat ironically just like childfree a good deal of the people here are furries and otherkin who think that they are a wolf or some crazy faggot shit, which kind of shits on the idea that animals are just walking food factories.

In short the Anti-Vegan cult of LiveJournal horrendously fail for making vegetarians look sane by comparison.

What you'll see here

  • Every couple of days someone will post an edgy and incredibly clever recipe involving meat, usually with step one being unwrap the meat and step two being burn it until you can eat it.
  • Half a decade ago, two people who were missing major portions of brains decided to feed their toddler nothing but tofu. The baby of course fucking died and the people in anti_vegan haven't forgotten since, with most of them still occasionally ranting about how not feeding kids meat is child abuse even though there are like a million billion vegetarians.
  • Pedantic McDonald's fat-beards who have graduated from Internet University of Doctorism ranting about how soy causes everything from depression to HIV to leprosy.
  • Ha! Look at this dumb vegan! (Post link)

Quotes

   
 
Go eat a steak you fucking hippie- you look pitifully malnourished.
 

 
 

—As scathing and as clever as "Go vegan or die!"

   
 
I have a major problem with tree rats (fox squirrels)- they trash my fruit trees, destroy all of my fruit & nut crops, and have started gnawing holes in my roof. D: So, I decided to get nasty and trap the little fuckers. I baited a havahart with a bunch of walnuts, and boom! Within a week I've nabbed just under two dozen of the bastards...and that's just the tip of the iceburg.

I hate wasting anything, so I've been vacuum-packing them & stashing 'em in the freezer in groups of 3. These were all very uniform in size, probably this year's crop of youngsters; I haven't nailed any old ones yet, but that's okay since they're pretty tough. Anyway, I had an extra one left over, so I decided to fry it for lunch.
 


 
 

—He also has a wonderful recipe for roadkill.

   
 
I wrestled Godzilla into the holding pen (30+ lb tom turkey), then offed him this afternoon. His head was as big as my fist! Surprisingly, he didn't really put up much of a fight. I think he only became dimly aware that something might be wrong when the ol' ticker started pumping air...
 

 
 

—Thus proving that eating meat does not make them animal abusers.

   
 
I had a carrot the other day... and i didn't like it. it was like chewing on a newspaper. It was almost degrading to be chomping chewing chewing on it like some kind of grazing animal -_o i said to myself... "wait a minute... it's Cellulose!" yes, the stuff newspapers are made of. Whyyyyy! *cry* Wahhhhh!
 

 
 

—Who says people who eat meat can't enjoy a healthy diet?

   
 
DAMN, I want to beat a bear to death with a Nalgene.

FUCKING VEGETARIANS!!

Cows, deer, chickens, and bears will kill a LOT more people than fucking celery.

And thus, we need to eat them.

(No offense to vegetarians, I just think you're hurting America.)

(Alot.)

(You're sometimes very nice people.)

(Sometimes)

(Okay, I'm just kidding.)

(Not really, celery and broccoli deserve to live a lot more than fucking cows.)

(Celery and broccoli provide us with oxygen. You know, that shit we need to breathe?)

(This bulletin contains more parentheses than actual sentences.)

(Cows provide us with methane and CO2. You know, that shit that burns holes in the o zone layer and smells like shit?)

EAT COWS, SAVE THE WORLD.
 


 
 

—Fuck you vegetarians! Pushing your beliefs on us! Assholes.

   
 
What kind of 'milk protein' is in Suave haircare products? Milk-milk, or coconut milk but improperly listed? I saw a locally renowned vegan buying it and pointed it out, and she proceeded to freak out and cry and scream how she was as terrible an animal exploiter as a fashion model. Later on, I saw her again, post-freakout, and she was saying the store clerk calmed her down after I left and told her it was just coconut milk, but labeled as milk because it was the liquid only. I get the feeling this was a BS explanation just to continue making sales, but I would like to confirm this so I can point it out next time I see her.
 

 
 

—Next week - stuffing children's toys with dead kittens

   
 
Cow found to be eating chickens

Deer and sheep feeding off of bird population

I love that these incidences prove that the animals are actually smarter than the vegans and PETArds, in that they understand the need to balance their mineral intake, rather than go limp and weak from living without them.

Also, how fucking awesome is instinct to tell them that those birds are good eatin'?

Rock on, you fun little creatures.
 


 
 

—See? Giving cows meat is a good thing.

Animal Rights Terrorism

I don't know what's going on here, but I have a feeling that PETA had something to do with it.

Because the people here are unable to sense the subtle differences between what you should give a shit about and what you shouldn't give a shit about, there are ridiculous comparisons of Animal Liberation Front, who freed some rats destined to become clothes, to people like Al Qaeda, who hanged a woman for showing her head. 70% of the "animal rights terrorism" that is frothed over has been directed at Huntindon Life Sciences, a merry little British laboratory that was fined and nearly shut down by the government after some employees were found repeatedly punching a dog in the face. PETA is suspected here of having something to do with paying them to do that, because obviously!

Linky Linky

Portal lj.png

Anti vegan is part of a series on

LiveJournal

Visit the LiveJournal Portal for complete coverage.