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April Winchell AKA "Hellen Killer" owns and blogs on the ridiculously unfunny snark website Regretsy. She is the daughter of the creepiest smart person who ever lived, Paul Winchell, who, among other horrifyingly weird things like ventriloquism, also invented the disposable razor, the artificial heart and in his spare time, voiced Disney's "Tigger."
Unfortunately for Paul, (or maybe fortunately for him since he's dead) April never lived up to her father's legacy and has only managed to do things like provide the voice for "Clarabelle the Cow." Clarabelle the cow has been leading cause in post-partum psychosis and infant death. April also never invented anything and only has a mediocre grasp of how to use a glue gun properly.
Due to the clinical depression brought on by poor crafting, April decided to start blogging so she could make other people as miserable as she was. The result of this was the abortion now known as Regretsy. She originally blogged under a pseudonym until she realised this blog wasn't on LJ and no one gave a shit.
Flouncing as an Internet Sport
At first glance, April is an ED wet dream. Do not be fooled. April Winchell
is was a coward. For someone whose internet celebrity relies fully on making fun of others, you'd think she could handle a little friendly ribbing.
At first, everything was great and much lols were had. Then she called all people from Boston "Crab Hammering Puritanical Dick Bags" (Nevermind. That's still pretty lol.) Her next foray into offending the drooling masses was her unending use of the word "retard".
People were outraged. Which kind of goes without saying, since this is the internet, and EVERYTHING is rage worthy.
And here is where the trick bitchery starts. You see, it's all well and good for April to steal peoples' pics for all the world to laugh at. (And it is.) But don't you DARE take one of hers.
She will run to the ends of the earth to make you hide that shit.
—April Winchell to LJAbuse
After receiving word of this article, April hastily sent a PM through livejournal's message system.
She is currently running a Kickstarter campaign begging for donations of up to $250 for a book as unfunny as her site to pay for her and her husband's vacation.
- April Winchell/Commentary - An approved version of her entry.
- Flickr Gallery
- livejournal gallery of stolen photos FOUNCED!
- LJ account BALETED!
- Wikipedia Entry This bitch is FIFTY??
- weblog entry full of stolen/redistributed MP3s Who needs a DMCA filed on them? April now claims she "got permission" to post the MP3s. What a LYING, thieving slut!
April trying to blank her own ED entry HarryCodder only contribs was to blank this entry Buttwart only contribs was to blank this entry
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