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The Arab Spring is a festival in which Arabs celebrate their kings. The custom was founded in 700 AD, when the Muslims overthrew the kuffar from Mecca. Since then, every 42 years, the Arabs overthrow the government and then have a shitload of civil wars afterwards. They then install another king, and the cycle repeats once more.
It first happened in Mecca around 700 AD, when the Muslims were being holocausted by the Kuffar of qurish. The Muslims decided it was about time they started holocausting people too, so somehow they got 10,000 soldiers and marched to Mecca. At the sight of this glorious tide of brown people, the kuffar surrendered. Because it was spring at the time (spring in Arabia being just the same sand hole), the Jews decided to troll them and call it the Arab Spring, and the name stuck. Filthy Jews.
Why did it happen recently?
As far as anyone knows, some faggot burned himself alive in Tunis because he didn't have enough money to buy a slave and get laid. Since then, all the Arabs decided it's about time they declared war on every person that lives in Arabia, killing each other in a series of civil wars that no one understands or really cares about. It started somewhere in December, 2010 and is still ongoing even now.
Some butthurt guy Burned himself alive because he wasn't laid, causing communists,nazis, and jews to come out and demand to get laid NAO. Ben Ali didn't give a fuck, and continued his fapping to gay porn. The people knew that they weren't gonna get laid, so they decided to do what they are good at, terrorism! Along that vein, they started burning houses and markets down for the lulz, at which point Ben Ali was like "Fuck dis shit, I'm out!" and fled to Saudi Arabia to continue his fapping there. Bricks were shat when the old party, the one that Ben Ali made, remained in power and declared an emergency. The Jews were still butthurt, so they kept protesting until Prime Minister Mohamed Ghannouchi, trolled the old party by removing all the old members so he can keep Tunis to himself. Then, the Jews kept protesting and Ghannouchi was forced to resign. Béji Caïd Essebsi became Prime Minister.
Inspired by the uprisings in Tunisia, the Egyptians said "Hey, why not join the celebration?" On January 2011 Egypt joined the shitstorm. The government responded simply with a "NO U," and shut down all the Internets in Egypt, a move that made all the American tourists leave. Mubarak then trolled all of the government by dismissing all of the current ministers because they were pwning him in Counter Strike. He then hired a bunch of trolls as ministers and a newfag as vice president, a move that really helped him remain in power, because in 10 February said vice president became president due to Mubarak's desire to pussy out. He then changed his mind and decided to stay in power for the rest of his term, which, in Egypt, is over 9000 years. Jews protested with all their might the next day, and the vice president then said that Mubarak resigned and transferred all his powers to the armed forces of Egypt.
The lulz didn't end there, because said armed forces decided to show how "fair" they are and appointed a civilian as prime minister of Egypt. However, Jews were still protesting, saying that the armed forces won't give them democracy. Despite that, when the first democratically elected president, Morsi, came to power, they bawwwed! Probably because he was a Muslim, and the armed forces decided to troll him and removed him from power. Even with that, the Jews are still protesting for some reason, and nobody in the world gives a fuck anyway, so no harm done. Jews gonna Jew.
One fine day, Ghaddafi decided to troll the Libyans by gassing, burning, and raping some people who demanded freedom. When the Libyans asked the government why said raepage occurred, Seif al-islam (Ghaddafi's little princess) told them to simply "Deal with it". At this point, the Libyans Declared war on the lulz and started going out into the streets. In response, Ghaddafi trolled them again by ordering all his soldiers, cops, and militias to banhammer everyone on the streets. It was going perfectly well and lulzily until Al-Jewzeera sent a whore to Obama, who gave him enough blow jobs to convince him to attack Libya. Thus, America joined the war on the lulz, but because Obama was such a pussy, he called on THE WHOLE WORLD TO JOIN THE WAR. Russia, on the other hand, did not betray the lulz, and did all it could do to stop the war on the lulz, but failed badly, and ghaddafi was pwned.
BUT! The lulz didn't stop!. When al-Qaeda decided it was a perfect trolling opportunity, they sent in the trolls. They had great success from 2012 to 2013 until General Hafter decided it was time he became Ghaddafi Mk 2, declaring the 2nd war on the lulz. The war rages to this day.
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|Featured article December 24 & 25, 2014|
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