Argent Dawn (EU)
|Type||World of Warcraft Roleplay Server|
|Location||Who the fuck knows?|
|Key people||Nath, Amarae, Jhenevieve, Alabast, Arthedun(ce), Cerulla, Hrothgarr, Testaros, Eragorn, Vaxir, Shikoradoro, Growthdoro, Hamfist and other great people of the server.|
|Motto||You live, you play on THIS shitty server, and THEN you fucking die|
|Industry||Production of troll bait|
|Products||USI, 13 year old boys and oldfags|
—Anonymous member of the server that has realised he went into a fucking trap by joining this server
Argent Dawn EU, also known as AD to its players, is a European World of Warcraft Realm. It is home to the largest gathering of Role Players on the European network of Blizzard Servers, and is renowned for its ability to produce an unrivaled amount of interesting and unique players found anywhere else. Argent Dawn is not only a realm, but an experience.. akin to having a cactus shoved up your ass... Sideways.
The dwelling for a multitude of highly opinionated and self-motivated attention whores, Argent Dawn is a cesspit of hypocrisy and drama. Thankfully, the residents keep mainly to themselves, and have not yet begun to contaminate any other server, so for now the outbreak of this particular disease seems relatively contained.
- 1 How to become a Argent Dawn e-thug
- 2 History
- 3 The Forums
- 4 Guilds
- 5 Argent Archives
- 6 Notable Members
- 7 Vidya
- 8 See Also
How to become a Argent Dawn e-thug
- Buy the shitty game called 'World of Warcraft'.
- Learn Engrish (or not).
- Log in to the account and make a character on the server.
- Join a guild with many members that consists of people with equal engrish skills like a boat filled with illegal mexicans and over-do them.
—A member of AD, Dorym. He wasn't very pleased that a woman came out of the kitchen without a sandwich.
Like all the other servers of the European World of Warcraft, it was launched at their release date in Europe, 11th February 2005. At this early stage, it is less likely that people got seriously involved with online roleplay. Not too many people knew what the fuck roleplay was at all, but that changed around a year after the release. A sexually insecure player with the online handle of Amarae made her first appearances into the roleplaying part of the server, while everyone else was too busy owning internet dragons and shit. She eventually joined a guild called the Stormguards, and that's how one of the big and most influential guilds got their mindpower on players who one by one came across the roleplaying phenomena. From THAT fucking day on, the server was slowly about to be a fucking shitplace to be in, mostly because she eventually took leadership of that guild.
Eventually, another influential player got his hands on what roleplay would be, Nath. Nath had just finished servicing his duty as a recruiting Sergeant in the Norwegian army, and decided to find a new hobby. He formed a guild called Stormwind City Watch, which was basically a police guild, but a very dysfunctional one. It was a great guild which was really hard to get into, and that alone placed a statement to what roleplay was to their eyes. They basically went around and fucked people who fucked with them, mostly with the help of the 'Book of Laws' that Nath himself had written. It was kinda like a bible to the server in characterly. What people could do and what they couldn't. You fucked with them, well. You would most likely log off and imagine how pissed their expression would eventually be, but that's another story.
Somewhere around 2010, that's when the party and the good times were over. Most of the good people who joined from the very first moment, left. And with the 'death' of these good roleplayers, bad ones were born. 13-year-old-boys who finally was permitted by mommy and daddy to play World of Warcraft, got their jewhands on their first gamecard. From this day on, hell was bound to break. No more mature people to play with anymore. This, was a fucking kindergarten now.
People often used their size-growing elixirs and potions to become fucking big and hop on their mounts to troll the fuck out of people by standing in the middle of massive crowds, some got into roleplaying guilds and stole all their shit from their guildbanks, but what takes the cake... Is the fact that even more people with USI came along. Great. Just fucking great. Time passed, even more 13-year-old-boys came, and even more players left to other games. Maybe it was for the best, these fucking retards would probably finally have a chance to get a real life.
Goldshire. Home to Hardcore role players and Casuals alike. The Lions Pride Inn in Goldshire is the epicenter of social activity outside of Stormwind, and can often be the late night haunt for many a Forum dweller when no one is looking. An impressive array of guilds awaits within, including such notable names as the Lionmaw Vanguard or The Twisted Oak, a frequent haunt for many a member in one guise or another.
Things to see and do
Upon visiting for the first time, it's important to take note of the vast numbers of colorfully dressed Elven and Draenic locals that walk the streets, taking part in Goldshires many customary traditions and events. Surprising at first, however it is remarkable to note that many of the locals have incredibly similar RP styles and Character Description styles as their moral and upstanding counterparts in Stormwind or Darnassus.
Smells like.. Hypocrisy
It must be said that tourists arriving inside Goldshire for the first time may encounter a strong and odious stench filling the air. That smell is unfortunately the stink of hypocrisy and cowardice, for it is known throughout social circles within and outside of Goldshire that many of the frequent locals are infact long standing members of the Forum community and some of the 'High Ranking Guilds' of the realm. The cause for this is uncertain, however some smart fucker somewhere has proposed that it may be due to constant forum drama over the subject of ERP, and the occurrence of the same old regular faces appearing to give their two cents on the subject, before skulking off to log their ERP alt and engage in some good old fashioned Goldshire RP!
So, how do i begin?!
Woah, easy there kiddo. There's a few things you need to learn first before you can become a successful Goldshire RP'er.
First things first:
- Make up a completely original character. Everyone likes originality. Draenei's in Mageweave and an F-List goes a long way to starting your first steps on the road to success
- Make sure no one knows who you are, apart from a few friends who you can totally trust, just in case it slips out that you're into the same type of shit as Shonn
- Be sure to be incredibly vocal about how much you dislike ERP on the AD EU Forums, just so people will know you're against it
- Join an ERP Guild with your alt, and make lots of excuses for not attending regular guild events on your main
With the above taken into consideration, you're now ready to begin playing.. Just like every other 'pillar of the community'!
—A new player arriving in Goldshire
How to speak 'Argent Dawn'
As previously mentioned, you will need to have a basic grasp of Engrish in order to begin your roleplay. The fun doesn't stop there however; for every brave, young adventurer who enters Stormwind for the first time will soon find that unlike the well-spoken quest givers of Elwynn Forest, it is customary for roleplayers to speak in an accent befitting of an uneducated, snaggletoothed yokel. Particularly prevalent in Humans who comprise 90% of all roleplayers; most spend their days living out their 'grimdark', Game of Thrones fantasies and as a consequence, it is important to note that no Humans are actually from Stormwind any more. Special Snowflake Syndrome abound, all Humans now claim to be from Gilneas, Hillsbrad, Lakeshire, Darkshire, Arathi and pretty much anywhere that isn't Stormwind. Imaginative as that is, those who claim to be from those places aren't merely Human, proudly adorning their nations of birth with the letters 'ean' or 'ian' in order to describe themselves; Hillsbradian, Lakeshirean, Darkshirean, and anything but fucking 'Human', basically. Those who speak 'Argent Dawn' are easily noticed by their inexplicable aversion to certain vowels and consonants, as well as the overuse of apostrophes. See below:
—Haeiren Wildrasson, wondering why his good friend is staring at some little girl over there like a hungry wolf.
The typical internet toughguy, except for the fact that his guy clearly overrepresents by acting so tough and cool and thinks that people support him. He grows horny by attacking people over the internet for no apparent reason. Though barely no one knows who he is in game (who gives a fucking shit anyway), he typically resides on the Argent Dawn Facebook group. Spouts shit about others just to make him feel a tad better about himself, being the frustrated, unsecure closet-homo he is, getting slammed in his shitbox by his grandfather and little brother before he goes to bed every night (read: Preparation H).
Typically uses memes and other forms of melodramatic means to get his point across, often resulting in people giving an oblivious fuck about what he thinks and does. Because frankly, people laugh at him for being such a cute little retard. Almost like seeing monkeys on skateboards. Means nothing to us, but it's so cute and adorable to watch. Though after all, he's a complete waste of human resources and energy.
Oh, and he likes Justin Bieber, Jonas Brothers and dreams of getting raped by Shonn.
The Official Argent Dawn EU Forums are home to the biggest collection of Pre-Madonna Attention-Whoring cuntbags in existence. Often one will find numerous 12 year old fuckwits breaking rules 1 & 2 in an attempt to look cool because they heard of the 4chans. Particular cunts like Mortilus come to mind here, spouting internet memes infront of their nerdy faggot friends in a vague attempt to look remotely cool.
Often threads will appear which have no significance or relevance to the forums, and will often pertain to inside jokes that the facebook clique regularly cook up in order to seem edgy. About once a month at least, a thread relating to ERP will surface, where the regular faces sit back and talk about how bad or how damaging to muh arrpee's it is, despite the majority regularly practicing it more than Shonn does at a Bayerleyn Retinue Guild meet.
Upon closer inspection, and of course if one is brave enough to venture deep inside and sift through the endless amounts of abject nerdity that awaits, one will notice how often the fine, upstanding denizens of the AD EU Forums are known to promote eachother. Especially in matters relating to popular guilds, opinions, ideas and pat-eachother-on-the-back threads which are ever present and oh so popular! This leads to an atmosphere of persistent internet toughguy syndrome for most regular users, whereby merely challenging their opinion leads to sudden ignore-fests in the game, and the oh so entertaining spats of nerd rage in threads.
The end result is entire guilds ignoring a single person merely for challenging some cunts opinion on a message board.
Below one will find an easy way to start a flame war on the Forum.
The AD EU Forums and You
- Step 1) Find a thread on the forums listed under [A-RP] or one of the many types of Forum Tags
- Step 2) Find a particularly interesting post and quote it. Proceed to disagree with the poster, pointing out obvious flaws and straw man arguments where necessary, and provide your stance on the matter
- Step 3) ?????
- Step 4) PROFIT!
It also is important to note that should one attempt to converse with one of the locals, you may encounter a sudden backlash from the other inhabitants who regular fuck the OP in Goldshire on a regular basis (Michelli*), however.. Isn't that the fucking point?
- It should be noted that as of 07/2013, Michelli prefers to fuck his girlfriends in Caverns of Time: The Culling of Stratholme these days, and still regularly posts up ads on Darknest under the handle darklady75.
Oh look! More fucking drama
Like flies buzzing around a steaming pile of horse shit, the AD forum community has been at it again. In the space of one day, forum dwellers from all across the gaping anus that is Argent Dawn descended on a thread started by crusader for gdrp Aeraldi. In what can only be described as an orgy of valid opinion and constructive criticism, many a community pillar chimed in with his or her(lol, right..) opinion on how to better facilitate and consider Realm Lore.
What followed was a 24 hour no holds barred nerdfest revolving entirely around the attention whores over at the guild The Royal Court. Focusing particularly on one such upstanding member, Cecil. It appeared as if young Cecil had taken it upon himself to arrpee himself a little power struggle, not that most folk give a fuck. But wait! Apparently half the ass-munching forum community did, and what ensued was a 26 page and counting thread of complete baww and rectal pain at the mere idea of one set of nerds not following another set of nerds on how to be a nerd in World of Warcraft.
Aeraldi, a fine believer in the Balop Principle set about taking a stand to this injustice, and in fine online fashion, decided to dedicate a thread to some shit overheard in a raid that was suddenly BIG FUCKING NEWS YOU GUISE!
The AD Forum Community, in keeping with its reputation embarked on a tirade of flaming and debating over the next 24 hours, leading some people, including your dear correspondent to wonder: Just what the fuck is in the water, and where can I get some?
Below is a list of guilds that have made progress, or the ones who ruined the progress of the server. Fucking idiots.
Basically made a living by powergaming their asses out of every uncomfortable situation and get away with it, hire retards with equal morale fiber and roleplaying skills of a carrot and basically being douchebags in general. Lead by the transsexual, powerhungry gamergirl Amarae. In 2012, The Stormguards quit the game after it was charged with Pandas and shit in Blizzard's newest expansion, and Amarae moved her guild to Guild Wars 2. Members who didn't join Guild Wars 2 with their guild left it and joined other guilds. Good fucking riddance, pandabears!
Stormwind City Watch
Used to set an example to what roleplay should be, and how hard a guild like this should be to gain admission to. Eventually as retards assumed leadership and with the constant immigration of 13-year-old-boys, they slowly ripped their quality to shit and used it like toilet paper, and threw them into the Maelstrom caused by said people. Today, they feed their attention sickness by trolling people on Argent Dawn's facebook page and live out their new position as the lowest form of earth. Below is their poorly made recruitment video. A kid suffering from the heaviest form of authism could've made a better video than that.
DEFNDERS OF HEV RP
Basically a troll guild who recieve hard-ons by trolling as many players possible. Led by their leader Shikoradoro in his bad 'roleplay' gear, with his comrades Mythrios, Philippson and Röman/Romandoro, he and his guild sets out to be one of the biggest trolls on the server as of 2012. They enjoy their alliance with Gardson and GUARDS OF ELWYN FORST, leading crusades against ERPers, heavy roleplayers, brave warriors guarding female players hanging in Goldshire, those who diss their preferred language, or basically anyone who be hatin' on them. They're also notable for creating most
useless useful threads in AD section in forums of which won't be appreciated by anyone including you, their threads is usually doomed to get deleted. If you see an ongoing flamewar in Trade Chat or General Chat, it's likely started by one of them because of stating a very important fact or spaekign bad Egnlish.
Last Thursday, the darkness that is Argent Dawn was enlightened by a second YouTube channel. This proud devoted follower of Shikoradoro seems to have had convinced the real world celebrities to support their crusade of lulz and douchebaggery. (Video no longer available)
The Royal Court
One of the most recognizable guild names both in-game and on the forums. The Royal Court is widely known for its ability to produce the most annoying band of cock goblins ever to grace a server on the interwebs, and then somehow manage to gather them all into one place long enough to annoy the majority of players into wanting to An hero quicker than that faggot who lost his iPod. Truly a masterpiece if it were intentional trolling. The sad fact and harsh reality of it however, is that these sack munchers are super srs, and completely oblivious to how little people actually give a fuck.
With an inability to separate the in-game from the out-of-game, and often seeing themselves as paragons of virtue and justice, despite being anything fucking but! Most members embark on an epic crusade to purge the holy land of heretics. By Holy Land I mean Forum. By Heretics I mean peace and fucking quiet. If only it ended there..
Unfortunately most of these scrote lickers deem it upon themselves to see to it that most of their subscription time is spent getting their ass kissed by other players, choosing to play 'noble' characters, often engaging in fun pastimes such as Beastiality, Wincest and Pedophilia when they're not busy whining like bitches on the forums about how no one takes them seriously.
Bane is a guild that got born probably after the WotLK expansion, the sanctuary guild haven for more 13-year-old-boys. Led by a fucking faggot named Vaxir that is turned on by inhabiting the persona of a female elven juggernaut with a penis, this was (or used to be) one of the guilds that doomed havoc and destruction against anyone entering their path. They're one of the thousands of individuals that fight for the throne to become the best and biggest internet tough guy. They really like to use poweremotes where they gas people to death with unholy blight, or do the good 'ol fashioned way; to stab you in the back with their super ninja powers.
They must always be respected and honored if you see them. << fuck no
More recently, Bane has become less noticeable, given that no one cares anymore, however it's still worth dropping the same picture and pointing out Vaxirs sordid past for a pretty decent evening and some interesting reactions. It should be noted that apparently Vaxir kicks members for getting caught ERP'ing. Must be they're just extra fucking clever at not getting discovered, eh?! huehuehue
A clusterfuck of purple prose and 13-year-old-boys who can't keep it in their pants and feel the need to touch everybody they meet. The guild is lead by some fel oozing, flaming, smoking, 'hhhhhhhhhhhhh' oh my fucking god fel gurgling over-grown elf on growth pots that rapes the English thesaurus and lore as much as he does his 'slender organizms and members', basically some fetish Goldshire character that makes no sense even if you tried hard. It's all about the sexual molestation and rape of the members and the people they catch and flaunting their ub0r dominance and fucked fetishes of stuffing blackened organs inside people, and claim to be professional hev rp.
Amiri Trade House
A gagglefuck of retards and ERPers, rolled up into a gigantic collection of Egyptian themed slavers, merchants and tribal types. Run by Amiri (AKA Arulia) the former leader of such epicly original and indepth guilds such as Burning Circle and The Cult of True Light (Pages can be found on Darknest), this current version of her popular and successful series of guilds focuses largely on a band of travelers and tribeswomen in Ulduar. The core premise behind the guild is obviously to conduct wholesome guild events, Spread RP through the zone and most importantly, give Arulia yet another guild of devoted, brainless fuckwit servants so he can enlarge his e-peen even further.
Not to be confused with an actual Roleplay guild, but quite simply a Goldshire guild that forgot to stay the fuck in Goldshire.
Take a basement dweller, add a little bit of knowledge on military strategy, and you have Arthedun (Also known as: Arthedunce, Arthedumb, art thou dumb?), the 'leader' of this pile of shit of a guild. These guys will do any kind of retarded shit from having super gritty nicknames like: 'Cunt Destroyer' from fighting the Horde while there's a ceasefire going on. Arthedunce claims to be part of the IRL military and therefor is superior above you because he proudly serves his country, you idiotic fuck. Give him any sort of criticism and he'll be quick to ignore you, derail and call you a bug. We feel sorry for the country that he will serve in, for it's going to lose any war that it will enter now that his whiney ass is around to frustrate the generals into excecuting their entire batallion.
Voice of The People
Another failure of a guild hellbent to change the political course around Stormwind, but can't really fathom the idea of how roleplay in general works. Three times they've changed leaders because the preceding leaders had fucked up in some sort. Hrothgarde Steinmugh (Or Hrothgàrr, AD's eqivilant of Adolf Hitler, who also fronted "The Citizen Congress") was the founder of this cancer of a guild, after his former guild went to shit due to his NSDAP methods, which was a dead similar guild to his last one. After his last guild, no one really wanted anything to do with this powerhungry fat gypsy anymore, so he decided to pass the leadership on to Adorthen Fallenda, who at many points attempted to incite riots within Stormwind to further his e-peen. Adorthen was too retarded to possess any leadership of any sort, and after a while he decided to pass it onto Thellarion who presumably seemed like a decent guy, but proved to be an even bigger retard than Adorthen. Now they go around and infect the city with their bdrp and powergaming attitude, they set out to be the next version of The Royal Court within 2015, but all they really do is sit on their asses and host tea parties all day, thinking they're super important. A bunch of magnificent faggots, in simpler terms.
Nath, or Alabast (he has multiple characters, obviously) got the brilliant idea to found The Argent Archives. It is basically the 'facebook' version of Argent Dawn Europe, where people can create pages of their own to represent individuals, guilds, post events, stories and even make diaries for the public to see. The website is hosted by Alabast himself on his shit webserver. The website lives it's own life by frequently being slow as fuck, goes down from time to time just because Alabast can't be bothered to get a decent fucking server. You can visit the website here. You're warned though, you might spend a long time loading his piece of shit website.
Being a community that turned to shit, here are some of the most notable persons contributing to it. Or have at least fucked up some way. Or not.
The Grand Master Retards
Amarae is the leader of the Stormguard. You would most often see her in her golden attire of golden armor from back in the days when level 60 PvP was the shit. She lacks moral fiber, loves to control people and have her way. Like a fucking bitch. In 2012, she was very sad because a raid spread around a picture of herself, which she was trying to hide. From this day on, people have been spamming to her face: "I'M GONNA JERK OFF TO THAT PICTURE OF YOURS TONIGHT, AND YOU CAN'T DO SHIT ABOUT IT, BITCH." Also had ERP with Kalynn and was often fond of ERPing with female characters in posession of huge cocks. A magnificent faggot indeed
Jhenevieve is also, of course, a Brit. She eventually, after a while took over as the Stormwind City Watch captain, by sealing her spot as the boss of the biggest law enforcement guild on the server by firing the good guys, and hiring her best and closest friends to become the top officers along with her in the guild. But being the fucktard that she is, she alone succeeded to drive the whole fucking guild to shit. Now, the guild is as dead as fucking dead. The current captain comes and goes, but he's almost as big retard as what Jhenevieve is.
Sallien is another fucking Brit (Seems like the whole server consists of fucking brits). But this time, this is a DUDE. A fat dude. Really fat. He looks like he has Down's Syndrome. He succeeds the stereotypic fat loser guy who plays a girl on a video game, genius. He was a member of the Stormwind City Watch, and also secretly in love with Jhenevieve IRL. See, the thing is.. His chance of getting laid is like his Ferrari. He doesn't fucking have one.
Hamfist is a person who inhibits the exquisite art of trolling. This guy has a fucking black belt in it. People often refer to him as 'the fucking crazy gnome', but are often undisturbed by him. If you ever meet him, you must always grab a hold of him and throw him 300 yards out of a window, because he'll fucking agree to it.
Solexion is also one of AD's famous trolls that dresses up like a bunny with a purple dress and bunny ears and always drinks his "Potion of Giant Growth" and rides his War Mammoth to make people very unhappy with him. The gamemasters was fed up with people reporting him all the time, so they decided that his regime as the "Trolling Stones King" was to be banned, and so he was.
Cerulla is a mentally ill italian dude who plays a female elf and claims to be the queen of all azeroth. unfortunately this fucking moron actually managed to get a group of followers and become one of the most well known lollers on AD. He's the kind of guy if you see IRL you'd cross the street just to avoid his fucking smell.
The biggest fuckwit on the realm. Eragorn is the biggest drama queen going, often succeeding in turning an entire thread solely about himself and how he is never credited or given due appreciation for shit that literally no one fucking cares about. He is often one to be found causing flamewars in threads and then goes completely emo and butthurt whenever someone e-fists him anally to the point he finally shuts up. Sometimes known to dress up in womens clothing and take a few tauren dicks on weekends. Eragorn sees himself as a pillar of the community, and views himself as a pretty cool guy, despite not realizing that literally no-one gives an utter fuck what he says.
Testaros, also known as "TESTASTERONE" is more of a forumlurker than he actually is a roleplayer. The leader of the Stormwind Bureau, who thinks they are the WoW equivilant of v&, when they have a hardly active memberbase that never even amount to dogshit, yet they still think they are very important. He'll give the most baseless forms of criticism on even the most innocent thread there is to find on the AD forums, and somehow make it about his "expertise" when he clearly doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about. Testaros pretty much views the internet as his own personal army, and is more addicted to upvotes and getting his dick sucked by the community than Michael Jackson was addicted to little boys booty holes. Like many others, Testaros consider himself to be an important part of the server and thinks he's a cool and funny guy, when it's anything but fucking true. He views himself as a "pillar" of the "community", when all he ever does when he's actually online is to stand outside the orphanage at the Cathedral Square, doing absolutely nothing. Yeah, he's a super important fella, guise!!111
Dog(e)las is one of the O.G forumlurkers, and doesn't do anything else but that. Never seen in game, that stands alone to this colostomy bag and his testament of being a basement-dwelling futa-dwarf who thinks that scoring upvotes on forumpoints where he thinks he's funny is the meaning of life. Loves sucking his own dick to and munching on Testaros' asshole, to no end.
Aelynith is a British tattoo-obsessed single mother who surrounds herself with a harem of horny and pathetic boys to feel better about herself. She manipulates her followers into believing she cares about them, and has paid commissions made of her and x character to further trick them, for which she pays using her benefits (that should go to her child). All of the men are told that he alone is special, and that the other men mustn't know about their RP relationship. This results in several relationships between her and her male friends, all kept secret from each other. When a man finally realises she is no good, Aelynith retcons all the roleplay they've previously had and guilt-trips them into believing they've made a mistake leaving her.
Aelynith also despises other women as a default, since them merely breathing poses a risk and may take men away from her harem. She spreads rumours about them in an attempt to keep them at bay, while convincing her "friends" of these lies to further alienate the woman in question.
Arneran is a Swedish 20 year old fuckboy on Argent Dawn. Obsessed with women, he likes to go through his list of female guild members and B-tag friends to see who to woo next. When Arneran is done, he disregards the female for another. He does this time and time again until he has caused enough drama for people to catch on and leave his guild. Arneran and Aelynith, both equally pathetic, got it together once where Arneran said he would take care of her child. He later changed his mind, however, leaving the OH SO innocent Aelynith in the dirt.
—A typical forum post
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