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According to Lj-favicon.png Astrolldancer’s own bio, she is “a free pagan spirt im currently single and living on my own. My hobbies are reading anything mystical and magical. I enjoy dancing clubbing and live concerts and festivals. I enjoy swimming and playing sports,boardgames,pool,cardgames,computergames e.t.c. I enjoy travelling and exploring new places and meeting new people though im a little shy to start with. im 5ft exactly, ive got long blonde hair at the moment, size 12 and some people think im cute” (sic)

Astrolldancer is in fact a 45-year-old grandma who hits on everything with a penis on both Sarah Orange and Live Journal. Since her appearance is akin to E.T in a blonde wig, most men run as soon as a picture of her is posted up. However, there have been an unfortunate few who have been seduced by her after she’s drugged their drinks with something called “alcohol”. Most scientists state that this proves alcohol is evil and should be banned, but then again, most of these scientists have had the misfortune of sleeping with her.

Astrolldancer believes herself to be a White Witch. This only indicates that she’s seen The Craft one too many times. She’ll pay up to £150 for “mystical magic secrets”, most of which can be found on the back of most packs of Lucky Charms.

Although mostly docile (due to her being pig shit stupid), she will throw a hissy fit as soon as anyone says anything bad about Anton LeVay, David Icke, or L.R Hubbard.


Around four months before Astrolldancer made her live journal, a few members of the Sarah Orange website created a spoof of her account under the name Astraldancer. The content of this account includes: Rants about the illuminate, worship of David Icke, stating that Astrolldancer’s daughter has easy lay written all over her, hanging out in the "libary", hating brown people, and being unemployable.

Most people are fooled into believing that this is a real account and the Astrolldancer is the spoof account, although this is not the case, as Astraldancer comes across as far less intelligent and a lot more susceptible to self pwnage.

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