Ate my balls

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Over 9000 hours in MSPAINT.

Ate my balls is the oldest of old memes. Remember those days when you were listening to Korn, Limp BIzkiT and typed like a 16 year old girl? God does and out of his extreme hatred for humanity he spawned the 56k modem and AOL. If you were badass enough to change your parental controls to 'mature teen' you would currently be repressing memories of the early internet and all of its horrid memes. "Ate my balls" was a meme consisting of celebrities with speech bubbles inserted into them ranting about testicles.

Eventually the advent of webrings came along and God, in his infinite hatred of all things he has created, decided to have all the 17 year old boys (13 year old boys could only view not create) these amazing websites linked for the world to see. But then God, being the hate filled, vengeful Dramatician that he is, saw that the world was deserving of a new fate far worse than hours upon hours of traveling the internet looking for ate my balls sites. He rolled up his sleeves, smoked a cigar and took a shit. That shit became Newgrounds. By 1997 the 17 year old internauts, in their infinite knowledge and mastery of American On Line, figured out html pages and moved away from the beloved geocities pages of the past. Ate my balls was replaced by a mountain of porn and shitty HTML games.

So what about them balls?

If you are to be a victim of the balls eating phenomenon you must first qualify under these few requirements.

  • Celebrity.
  • A clear rival of 1997 13 year old boy culture.
  • Someone who is vaguely or completely gay because you are a fiercely heterosexual 13 year old boy and you ain't no goddamn queer like this ball-eating homosexual that you spent a good 6 hours MSPAINT'ing to say "I'm gonna eat your balls". CLEARLY he is the gay one here AMIRITE?
  • Someone who clearly would not be eating balls, THE IRONY.
  • Mr. T.
  • Your mother.

External Links

Ate my balls
is part of a series on Web 1.0


Old Memes  • Celebs, h4x0rz, and Phreaks  • Technologies  • Fun and Games  • Events  • Death of Web1.0
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