Austin Fullmer

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Young and trendy
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In happier times

Austin Fullmer is a 19 year old second-generation Scientologist who completely failed at his American Idol audition, and freaked out Simon Cowell. Austin's real job is processing sewage so that it can be re-used in LA as drinking water. Appearing at one of the early auditions, when people are most likely to be complete retards and utterly lacking in talent, Austin attempted to sing a song by lame 1970s rock band Cheap Trick.


 
 
Austin: This is my purpose in life. Simon: No, it's not.
 

 


How do we know he's a Scilon?

Apart from his horrible fashion sense, which is common in Scilons, former OSA agent Gary Scarff ("Smurf" on Why We Protest) declared that he has known Austin's parents for years, and that they are hardcore. His batshit screaming at the judges has also been identified as an attempt at Scientology magic (Tone 40) to make people do what he says. Scientology works and it helps people.

Moar

Xenu homeboy.pngAustin Fullmer is part of a series on ScientologyXenu homeboy.png

LOL TECH: Scientology - Dianetics - Disconnection - Child Abuse - Saint Hill - Scientology's History of the Universe - Sec Check - Freewinds - Sea Org - Glossary - Religious Freedom Watch - Volunteer Ministers - OSA - Space Opera
SCILONS: L. Ron Hubbard - David Miscarriage - Tom Cruise - Scientology Agents - Footbullet Man - Rogues Gallery - Suri Cruise - Terryeo - Heaven's Gate - The Regime - Evil Jacket Guy - Joe Feshbach - VaLLarrr - Jonathan Barbera - Jake Vigil - John Carmichael - Freezone - Captain Bill Robertson - Danny Masterson - Will Smith - Tommy Davis - Oschaper - Kendrick Moxon - Tim Armer - Jorge Serrano - Ron Savelo - John Travolta - Jett Travolta
NOTORIOUS SPs: Anonymous - Wise Beard Man - Jason Beghe - Gas Mask Girl - Magoo - New Zealand Fail Guy - Message from Scientology - Shawn Lonsdale - Rorschach - Moralfags - Leaderfags - Raidfag Wench - James Packer - Epic Nose Guy - Stu Wyatt - Tommy Gorman - The Unknown Autobot - Psychiatrists - Marcab Confederacy - Marvin Gaye - Epic Sword Guy - Agent Pubeit
ENTURBULULZ: PROJECT CHANOLOGY (portal page) - Enturbulation - A Scientologist's Guide to 4chan - The Geterator - Mrfetch - ReligionIsFree.org - You Found the Card - /i/ - alt.religion.scientology - Complete binge of LEAKED SCILON DOX - 888chan
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