Axis Powers Hetalia (literally "Useless Italy") is a webcomic - turned - manga - turned - anime - turned - psychotic fandom that gets more attention than it deserves. The series takes twentieth century history and turns it DESU by personifying every country as a bishie (if they're male) or an attention whore (female). Hetalia is written by Hidekaz Himaruya, a 14-year-old landwhale pretending to be a man. Reverse Teruchan, basically.
Being geared toward educating the Japanese, Hetalia does of course have to follow the conventions of anime in order not to scare the target demographic. For this reason, most of the show's history lessons are taught using incest, barely-concealed racism and implied buttsex between anime pretty boys.
Since the typical APH fan has the attention span of a four year old, each episode is only 5 minutes long. That gives the average fangirl just enough time to fuel up with ideas for their next Germany/Italy fanfiction.
- 1 "Plot"
- 2 Characters
- 3 The Princess Of Hetalia
- 4 OMFG, but there's MOARR!!!11hundredandone...
- 5 Jews
- 6 HISTORY DESU
- 7 Hetalia weeaboos in detail
- 8 Gallery
- 9 See Also
- 10 External Links
Hetalia begins with Germany exploring the woods of WWI, looking for some forgotten asshole who conquered the whole world. Unfortunately, he finds Rome's
mentally retarded genius virgin grandson Italy in a tomato box instead.
They get together with Kawaii desu Japan and end up doing roughly five comics about "WWII" before they just focus on having gay sex with every other nation. This is Hetalia, every yaoi fangirl's dream, where hot animu boys fuck for "historical" reasons.
This shit is DEEP, amirite?
- Italy: The main character of the show. All he does is eat and cry because he's retarded. Tries to fuck Germany who's uninterested because he has dogs to do that with. Used to wear dresses and carries a white flag because all Italians suck at war. Basically, a stupid fucking waste of space.
- Germany: The most repressed and fucked up character. Has fun fucking his dogs, brother, the mentally-retarded Italy and fapping to weird German shit. Gets super pissed at everything, mostly Italy's fucking retarded face. Always has nations fapping to him which he gladly bends over to enjoy.
- Japan: Japan is the useless otaku creep who spends his time fapping to anything and everything (including America's fat cock) in the bushes, like all Japanese. He wants to be a valuable ally to Germany, but is often rejected because Germany would rather fuck Italy's retarded ass instead. No one cares about him.
- America: A strong nation that does his best to fight for freedom. Yells "I'M THE HERO" and generally spends every episode failing at life or pounding cheeseburgers down his throat. This is generally accurate, only they forgot to make him 500 pounds fatter. Should become an hero.
- England: Has huge fucking eyebrows and declares "BLIMEY" every 10 goddamn minutes like real English people. Drinks tea and sees unicorns like a homo. He's usually found strangling France for something no one cares the fuck about. Fangirls everywhere wet themselves at the sight of him and proceed to shit out bad fanfiction and art of him. Embodies the stereotypes and cliches of tsundere while having a dick.
- France: If you could turn gayness into gasoline, this man would have enough to drive around the world over 9000 times and still have enough left for a ride through the Gay Pride Parade. He is about as weak as Italy, but overcompensates for it by being gayer than Chris Crocker and by being a bigger whore than Paris Hilton. Proposed to England to save his ass, but was firmly rejected since England and America are already best friends. He is also a confirmed rapist who enjoys taking photos of his victims. He also enjoyed stalking and drooling over a Chibi Romano.
- Russia: A pretty cool guy and about the only normal person in the series. Likes drinking Crystal Head Vodka before going out to furiously beat other countries. He keeps Lithuania, Latvia and Estonia locked in the basement. Gay(?)/straight for China.
- China: A man/woman/anime-thing who eats a lot. Claims to be a man, but looks and sounds like a chick. Always portrayed as being friendly, supportive and reasonable to Japan, nicely displaying the healthy amount of "LA LA LA DIDN'T HAPPEN DIDN'T HAPPEN" at work in the Japanese psyche. Once pissed everyone off by setting up a Chinatown in the war room, as well as everywhere else on the globe.
The Rest of the United Fag Brigade
- Romano: Italy's older, angrier brother. He is also Italy. The fangirls for him mostly consist of, "OMG!11ONE11! SPAIN AND ROMANO ARE LIEK TLLY TEH CUTEST COUPLE EVER EVEN THOUGH SPAIN IS HIS LEGAL GUARDIAN!!!111ONE11!!!"
- Greece: Sleeps all day, owns many, many cats and seems to fancy Japan. The /b/tard of Hetalia characters, only slightly more alpha because unlike most /b/tards, he's gotten laid before on multiple occasions.
- Turkey: A mask-wearing badass. Claims to be Japan's best friend. Also claims to hate Greece and expresses this with the gift of surprise sex. He's been dating Sailor Moon since 1992. He's known to have spent gratuitous amounts of money on whitening lotions before his anime debut.
- Switzerland: A war-hungry dictator that always yells. He wants to shoot Italy. Tries not to catch teh AIDS by raping his "sister", but fails due to his wet dreams about Austria.
- Austria: A stuck up pussy that is constantly getting beat up and gang banged. The only things he's good at are bitching and playing the piano, baking cakes with Germany, and taking it up the ass from Prussia.
- Spain: A tomato loving pedophile who has dreamed of getting it on with the two Italies since they were little. Has a glorious backside.
- Prussia: ZOMG PRUSSIA IS LIEK SO COOL! I LOVE HIM. HE'S SO AWESOME. HE'S MY FAV. HE'S THE GREATEST! Prussia is Germany's batshit insane brother. Lives in Germany's basement. He is every fangirl's favorite since he basically looks like England without the pubes for eyebrows. He mooches off of his brother's beer and sausage. Every other fanart of him features his "five meters of awesomeness" getting blown by a member of his gang; "The Bad Lesbian Trio." Quote: SUCK IT, LOSERS
- Latvia: Shotacat's number one boy. Lost his innocence many years ago during one of Russia's drunken rampages.
- Poland: The hick version of Italy. Cannot into space. Gets pwned by everyone, but you knew that already. He is also a flaming faggot, but that is not uncommon in the world of Hetalia. Was originally meant to be a girl, but in the world of Hetalia nobody gave a shit.
- Lithuania: A loser that has to do everything while Russia is busy ass raping everything. His dickgirl lover, Poland, calls him Liet since it's
- Sealand: England's
troll nationlittle brother. England tolerates him because he's the only person left in the world that still looks up to him. Probably an excuse by the writer for a token shota that's not Latvia. Was adopted by Sweden, but was soon removed by CPS due to the massive amounts of rape he endured.
- Sweden: The only gay character in the series, since Swedes are fags in general. Claims Finland as his wife. H' sp'ks l'k th's.
- Finland: Sweden's shit-eating moeblob waifu, who's in bed with him every other night. He gets paid by various countries for hot shota sex. Finland works as a prostitute part time, in a secret underground nightclub, disguised as an innocent cafeteria called "Cafe Sweden", which really exists in the anime. In real history, waged a fairly impressive campaign during WW2, but nobody in the fanbase knows this because lol, Hetalia. Thinks he's Santa Clause.
- Norway: Due to her frequent drug binges, she believes she can see magical creatures. Gets fucked daily by Denmark. Likes to complain and bitch.
- Iceland: Another shota. Is fucked by Denmark if Norway isn't available. Due to his financial crisis, he whores himself out to Russia.
- Korea: The reason Hetalia is illegal in (South) Korea. Got b& from the series for regularly sucking on Japan's tiny cock.
- Romania: Recently introduced character. All the Twitards love him for being a stinky vampire.
- Cameroon: Typical ball playing nigger. Hasn't made many appearances yet possibly due to racism.
- Cuba: If you think about it, Cuba is a lot like most liberals. He's fat, dark skinned, communist, hates America, and loves Canada.
"Girl" Countries No One Gives a Shit About
- Hungary: She used to have a dick until she got castrated while raping Austria. Instead, she creams for guys in dresses and video tapes men gangraping her husband.
- Ukraine: Has big tits. Cries all the time, because her younger brother Russia rapes her big tracts of land. Is "shipped" with everyone.
- Lichtenstein: Younger sister of Switzerland who crossdresses to fill her brother's secret yaoi needs with a dildo.
- Taiwan: Has yet to have a description since she is still sucking Japan's little cock for Lolita outfits.
- Seychelles: A semi-loli who's supposed to be Creole, but the author colors her as white as possible because niggers aren't kawaii. She was the star of a colonial-themed dating sim with hopes that she work as a self-insert for girls wishing to be banged by France and England, but because Hetalia fangirls only want gay they ended up hating her. Carries around a fish.
- Belgium: Kawaii desu slut who gets fucked by Spain, Romano and Netherlands. Has a ":3" face to make her more kawaii. Obsessed with cats and waffles smeared with chocolate sauce. Has ribbons in her hair, and a cute voice, in case nothing else annoyed the fuck out of you because of her Mary Sue character.
- Sister Sweden: Sweden's tranny moeblob lesbian aspie sister that was also put in this anime to demonstrate the perfect Swedish woman. Likes to have incest orgies with the Nordics and enjoys raping Sweden. Like all 'Swedish women', she is seen whoring herself to Norway and Denmark, or spreading feminist propaganda around the anime. Bitches over everything and everyone.
The Princess Of Hetalia
|This person has Assburgers Syndrome, |
so you can't say anything bad! :-(
Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
- Annabel: The assbaby of butthurt Seychelles fans. Canadian attention whore and another whitewashed nigger Mary Sue insert added in the anime to cover up Seychelles and troll the Hetalia fandom. She is only seen in the episode molesting Estonia, raping the shit out of everyone and attempting to kill Ukraine. She is the most creepiest ever, but makes it up for her hot tits and face. She creams over white guys. Used to be a
, but got b& for raping her watchers.
You better bow down to her or she'll fuck your shit up!
OMFG, but there's MOARR!!!11hundredandone...
End. Of. Story.
They're basically the same as your gay bishie mofos, except with bewbz, and a vag, in place of a mantool. These fugly transgender characters are the best character inserts you can find in Hetalia, without going trough the trouble of making a Mary Sue.
Basically, they're just from the creator's "another color" designs, with ruined personalities by horny fangirls who masturbate to a naked 2P America every night.
There is no mention of Jews or the Holocaust in Hetalia. This is because it is a history show, and everybody knows the Holocaust didn't happen.
In an episode the dubbed version of Hetalia, France and England go around spreading "rumors" about Germany. The "rumor" was that Germany sent Jews to concentration camps and had an atom bomb. According to the Japs, the Holocaust is just a rumor.
Hetalia attempts to explain historical events using comedy to keep you entertained. This causes many fantards to believe they're actually learning something when they watch it, and since the last thing most of them read was chapter 6,283 of Naruto, that's most likely the case. These fangirls probably thought WW2 happened on 9-11. Now they know when it occurred, but think Nazis were having hot kawaii sex every God-given hour. Which is clearly false, unless you're called Ernst Röhm.
Despite the inaccuracies of this anime, you'll still find fangirls willing to argue that you can learn history from it. Yes, there are some classy fangirls who believe being inspired enough to pick up an actual history book without it involving school makes them "cultured individuals." However, most of the fans are yaoi-crazed retards that couldn't tell America from Russia on a map. They'll relentlessly argue that reading this manga is the best way to learn history, but the only thing they care about is buttsex.
Some even take it to a more fucktarded level and declare that Hetalia taught them about politics. After watching the show, a few of these strange hambeast creatures would declare themselves to be Neo-Nazis, Communists, Socialists, etc, because their favorite characters are. Luckily for the fat neckbeards who are actively on the alert for ZOG/Capitalists/whatever in their favorite political forums and/or DA pages, Hetaliatards are easy to spot. Unfortunately for them, they would have to deal with "Kawaii Desu! Germany and Russia should have buttsmex ^___^ <3 Im ttly Prussian and Russian yo" for a few hours until lazy mods finally ban the Hetalia fantard.
Seriously, the fanbase is fucked up. It's like if the shittiest breed of weeaboos were convinced that they were history scholars. Trolling them is easy-just tell them that they don't know shit about history. They will rant about how it is technically an educational anime. Just because it pretends to replace hearing a history lecture from some ugly cunt in front of a chalkboard in school, doesn't mean it succeeds. They also probably don't give a rat's ass about learning history-if there was a show as kawaii desu as hetalia that taught physics, they'd think that they were Albert Fucking Einstein.
—First post in a thread full of fail.
You can even find a thread on weeaboofox.com with fans discussing what they learned in Hetalia that their teachers failed to teach them. In reality, their teachers probably did teach them, but they were too busy trading Pokemon cards and reading yaoi to pay attention.
Hetalia weeaboos in detail
All they ever talk about is USUK or GERITA. This is called being a weeaboo. They live and breathe Hetalia which is why all people hate their "kawaii desu~" guts. They find out they're both German and Italian? "OMG GAIZ! IM A GERITA LOVE CHILD!1!1!!111!!!!" All these weeaboos do is talk, think, eat, drink, breath this dumb fandom and are going to live a horrible life doing so. They just have to make stupid ass jokes that arent even funny. They see a flag? "OMG YOU GUYZ! LOOK A FLAG ITS SO KAWAII DESUUU!" They would go to McDonald's and be giggling the whole time about America and his damn burgers. They take everything to the next level. Some Jewish whiny cunts might even get triggered by Holohoax jokes, guise.
When the fanfags find out you don't like Hetalia, they will continue to rape you until you like it. If you show them something not Hetalia, they will reject it, just like males will reject their rotted vagina. Most of them go after yaoi pairings, and then their favorite charaters, making DESU Mary Sues out of countries not represented in Hetalia yet.
- Polandball: Hetalia but minus the gay and actually features real satire
- SO KAWAII!!!
- The Truth
- Official Website
- join MapleMaddie's Nazi group today!
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