B0G

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Racists, /b/tards, Anti-semites — these are only a few of the people who gathered at b0g.

B0g was never updated — ever — as the code master Tress's skills never advanced beyond the ability to copy and paste. B0g's original purpose was to act as an e-playground for a select few, mainly EU hackers. B0gs purpose was to act as a monument to all the sins of humanity. B0g currently acts as a portal to E-hell. Within a few minuets of being at b0g your eyes will have been raped with pictures of infant death, bestiality, murder, animal abuse and necrophilia. B0g was full of wannabe emos who only post comments that prove how fucked up they are in real life, and thus are not only internet tough guys but IRL tough guys. B0g had virtually no updates since it was born from the bowel of Satan in the early 2000's. Eventually their page gained the ire of some animal rights faggots, and the FBI took it down. See below.


Origins

B0g was originally a site created as a web friendly (before web 2.0) forum for a small but select group of hackers from the backwaters of Europe. These hackers only real skills extended to copy-paste coding and posting pictures stolen from other forums to shock and humor others. Soon, seeing the commercial benefits from posting pseudo-child porn and scat, Tress decided to add some sponsors and whore out the site to the general public for profit. Upon seeing the desecration of his e-baby, K-rad-b0b promptly fucked off and never spoke to Tress again. K-rad-b0b was the hottest haxor you ever saw, completely challenging the sterotype of a basement swelling, socially inept, sub-human fat fuck.

Site Navigation

  • News: Usually not updated — only once in a few months, when some b0gger decides to spend more time on thinking about an article than masturbating to furries.
  • Jihad: If you don't know where to post your stuff just post it here. Also articles that were posted in news, but didn't make it, end up here.
  • b0gcams: Only a few chosen one are allowed to get their own b0gcam. The only way to get one of these up at b0g is to let Tress play with your pooper as long as you live. Even though this might be one way to get your b0gcam, it is stil up to the Master of the pooper, to accept or decline.
  • pr0n: Once up on a time, this was the most famous section at b0g until there were some copyright problems and Tress decided to only upload "self-bought" pr0n, and eventually ended up with Tress posting his wife's pictures, which was met with happy fapping from all of b0g.
  • fun images: Fun images are fun!
  • offensive shit: Next to the pr0n section, the most enjoyable part of b0g
  • User journals This section of b0g only exists to let the more expressive of the b0g crew emote their feelings and talk about the best way to cut them selfs without any major bleeding.

Satchmo

Satchmo is the official b0g mascot. His origins are unknown, but it has been heavily implied that he is some shit based life form, probably evacuated from Tress and K-rad-b0bs bowels in some scat love play. It was probably the last time K-rad and Tress were in the same room before the great sellout of '02. Being the last item belonging to K-rad that Tress would ever see, he immediately begun to feed, care for and make love to this pile of shit. Soon enough, believe it or not, Tress's intense love for K-rad-bob's fecal matter caused it to become sentient. Tress had a new friend. Instead of loving and caring for the now sentient pile of shit, Tress begun to mistreat poor satchmo with various forms of sexual torture ranging from basic bondage to extreme BDSM. Eventually Satchmo began to fear Tress and would withdraw from his touch.

Satchmo was never seen again. However, Tress was later quoted as saying "he was unresponsive to my love, i had to kill him". It is uncertain if Tress was talking about Satchmo. We will never know, so now an artists impression of Stachmo is the official b0g mascot, in memory of this dear little fellow.

Satchmo's Santa Hat Controversy

B0gsanta.gif

As b0g was getting more and more messy, Tress refused to take off Satchmos santa cap and stated that "at b0g, christmas lasts 24/7/365¼". To the question: "how soon will tress remove satchmos santa cap?"


   
 
will keep it all year
 

 
 

—@tress

Now most b0ggers, like all retards and long term prison inmates, crave order and repetition. They don’t mind a bit of random for the lulz, but this should be excessively controlled, and occur no more than once a month. Now that Satchmo has been raped by Tress and forced to wear a Santa hat, many b0ggers are becoming distressed and are ingesting their own feces, like they always do when exposed to an event outside their ability to internalize, as they are all self loathing emos. Many have cited the reason for the Santa hat to continue in to March 3, 2008 is because Tress is a lazy cunt — who having reached level 100 as an emo, and actually having regressed to the point where he is unable to cut and paste code any more — would much rather sit in a dark corner and brood. Another far more reasonable theory is that Tress is still a talentless fat fuck coder, and he continues to force Satchmo to wear the hat so he can cause deliberately distress fellow b0ggers, because that’s what b0gging is all about: proving how much of an internet tough guy you are by flaming and trolling others, especially on b0g.

Prominent b0ggers

Tress (aka Adam Tress) - RIP

The b0g door bitch — all posts go through him. Tress is secretive and has rarely posted since he had his heart broken by b0b, who rejected him for whoring b0g out like his sister. Tress is easily manipulated and is of feeble mind. Tress IS a homosexual. He is a britfag. Tress, being made of fail and AIDS, only posts unfunny submissions or offensive material that is so graphic that the internet police are trying to figure out how to turn their computer on in order to write him a nasty letter.

K-rad-bob

One of the b0g founders, if not the original one. He’s a sexy Norwegian hacker with cool hair and a nice smile. He no longer makes any active contributions to b0g, however he still logs on to b0g with his original account. He may still have his original admin powers, but if so, he never uses them.


Nymphetamine (aka Tranny whore)

A man, or possibly a transvestite — he/she parades on b0g as sexy woman with a nice arse, so every desperate sick fuck who lurks on b0g will covet him and think they have a real friend. After all, the grainy old cp can only last so long until you get bored with it. He never shows his face in fear that his male to female transition masquerade may be exposed. He posts almost exclusively morgue pictures and other filth that involves dead people severed in half in humorous post-mortem situations. So far racking up over 700 posts, this makes him the biggest basement dweller of all time. He lives in England, and as a consequence he is also a britfag. It's fair to say that he also enjoys his limited powers on b0g only because he allows Tress to play with his arse while he shits all over him. He also has the most advanced case of internet disease EVAR diagnosed.

After being trolled he deleted his account. Goodnight fat slut.


krplunkr

A b0g womanwhore who got it on with the users dmitryaz, criterion and Jesus132. Eventually this california based tranny slut, whose real name is Mary Roche, moved in with Jesus132 whom she currently lives with in Oregon. She is infamous for showing lots of tits 'n ass over yahoo cam. She owns a Hitler t-shirt and was the #1 ranked b0gger in terms of lines spoken in the Undernet b0g channel, #b0g.

Camo

The azn camo is an ol' skool b0gger with a serious case of internet disease. He suffers from carpal tunnel syndrome, which he believes is causing him to have tunnel vision. He drives a Honda like every other ricer azn and he has never had sex. He is frequently compared to TheWineKone, of YouTube fame. His real name, reports suggest, is Richard. This makes him an emofag.

LOL LOOK ITS THE REAL CAMO

criterion

Of mysterious origins, but was prolific on the b0g stage in the middle part of this decade, peaking around the summer of 2005 — being placed #2 behind krplunkr on the #b0g stats. He was banned for an extended period for enraging the britfag control freak Tress, whom reports suggest lives in the vicinity of criterion himself. Criterion is unique in that he has achieved a b0g karma level of "noob", which is completely exclusive and means that he is a pedophile.

TRIZZLE << RIP<< Posts sort of Epic journals on b0g, however most of the material is stolen from ED. Trizzle is your typical Jewish fuck. His parents were not exterminated during the lolocaust, much to our dismay. Trizzle is generally acknowledged to be the shit stain on the toilet bowl that is b0g. Trizzle claims that he is one of the most important and old-school b0ggers because of the material he posts. However, Trizzle rarely makes any submissions to b0gs offensive/funny images post-wise. He just lurks on /b/ finding material to post in his journal, and waits for the applause and fellation from fellow b0ggers. Trizzle is German. This alone is EPIC FAIL, but in addition to that he once posted a picture of his cock on b0g. His attention whore antics backfired big-time as his cock was of average size, but skinny — super skinny. No girth to it at all. So, unless he's fucking a 3 year old it's not gonna touch the sides. TRIZZLE HAS DIED.


robot

AKA ROBOT9000< YES THAT ROBOT9000. The epitome of internet tough guys this guy is basically a hacker on steroids/E-bully/IRL bully being too hopped up on pcp cocaine eggzama and roids and cheap hookers to even type out a coherent sentence without smashing the key board and calling someone RETARD OVER 9000 times, also quite capable of kicking your ass online with keyboard attacks that cause sonic booms when he types. ROBOT likes to post crushing vids of small, cute animals and links to other insane nonsense. will flesh you so be careful this is the most venomous and dangerous of the b0g . use caution!


TAPEWORM

The least significant of all the prominent members, an internet though guy. Just as the name suggests, he is a parasite and a complete waste of bandwith on the b0g server. He will be owned as soon as possible.

TastyPanties

Ahhh, TastyPanties, your typical unemployed redneck pedophile. A few years ago god punished TastyPanties for his faggotry by crushing his spine, leaving him in crippling pain (and so, he is a cripple). Like all people in pain and with access to an internet connection, he soon found b0g. Desperate for his need to be loved by the miscreant cunts 0f b0g, he soon created a gimmick: shitty little poems, unfunny composed of the most unfunny fail in the universe. Not even god, a perfect being, could deliberately fail so much if he tried. TastyPanties only achieved his true b0gger status by raping the "post bump". He would srsly spend 14 hours a day trying to get hits on the shitty little game. Instead of actually submitting material to improve the overall quality of B0G, he just cheated. But it seems in his case it was justified, as the pain of his existence will be too much for him to deal with and he will soon kill himself, and most likely send the pics to b0g so that we can laugh. TastyPanties is your typical try hard b0gger fuck. He has an obsessive need to comment on EVERY SINGLE FUCKING POST. He does this mainly just to let people know he’s there, like a little cripple child crying for attention all night, slowly leading his genetically related parents into insanity. Like all unemployed redneck cripples, TastyPanties is a pedophile. He likes the taste of underage pussy so much that 12 year-olds are considered by him to be vintage; yes, TastyPanties likes bald baby pussy, packaged in diapers if possible.

"REPOST"

"REPOST", this is the war cry of the veteran b0gger proving that all b0ggers really are 13 year old emos with the attention span of sweeteva. If an image is ever reposted on b0g, there will be total and utter chaos. Some b0ggers have been known to eat their own feces in distress after a REPOST, however its more likely that most of the older b0ggers will write a 3 page diatribe about how that user is worthless and should kill itself, because to repost an image is basically akin to the crime of trolling. B0g contains a catalogue of nearly all the offensive/fucked up pictures since the sites beginning in the early 00’s. It is an archive to the evils of humanity in all its glory. Most veteran b0ggers are some kind of librarians, having viewed over 9000 images and remembering them, as to avoid the high crime of a REPOST. After mentally absorbing over 9,000 pictures of death and scat, one tends to be desensitized. If you survive this process of desensitization, your mind is irritably warped and constantly trying to disassociate the cognitive side of itself, this leads to regression and thus nearly all members of b0g really are 13 year olds emo’s.

b0g e-zine

The b0g texts were a regular event during the first few years of b0g, they were epic lulz in the begining they were much like the Anarchists cookbook, however most of the information with the texts was derived from IRL events that happened to the b0ggers who contributed to it. These were pretty much instructions on how to be a miscreant, and kick HUEG amounts of shit. From a broad array of subjects one could learn how to impersonate Tom Cruise to Destroying an elevator and even learn the real life consequences of ejaculating on your sleeping sisters legs

After b0g text 11, was released soon after Tress sold out like Marilyn Manson, getting sponsors and linking to every other gore site except rotten.com, this was believed to be an effort to avoid a preteen-teen demographic, this effort however is flawed as b0g basically did consist of 13 year old emos. However this massive influx of teenage fuck wits who had nothing to contribute to b0g other than pushing up the sites bandwidth demands and expecting every one else to submit material caused what little quality was left in b0g to totally disintegrate thus was the end to the b0g texts


  • Final words from the final issue:
   
 
Hi.

I'm sick of editing. Don’t let me wait another 11 months before throwing together an issue. Write articles, and email them to me. How hard is that? Thanks to those who did just that. And thank you, dear reader, for reading. Until next time. Hacking, drugs, and naked people.
 


 
 

—k-rad-bob, 02:53 07.04.2002

Quotes

These are a few select quotes from the b0g chat room, the bog website has an entire part of the site filled with quotes dedicated to the official b0g chat room, how ever these are only submitted by Europe fags who join the b0g irc chat room and thus unfunny.


   
 
rape is legal in lebanon aslong as you give the father of your victim a goat
 

 
 

—@taliban

   
 
Max answers one girl by grabbing her throat and yanking her ass off his dick. He hoses her face down with piss, stuffing his dong down her throat so hard she Ipecac-pukes buckets of clumpy beige liquid with spluttery fanfare across his balls and down the front of her Apple Kitty tube-top. She blows bubbles. He hands her a cigarette, slaps her face and tells her to get with the program.
 

 
 

—grphish

   
 
anything website with 'sex' and 'child' innit, goes straight into my bookmarks
 

 
 

—xhaze

   
 
when i'm sucking cock, i'm not proud
 

 
 

—defproc

   
 
i dress up like a wizard and pleasure my self in random bathroom stalls
 

 
 

—GimpyDick

   
 
ever kind of half wake up, a little horny so you start masturbating then you realize you fell asleep on the bus
 

 
 

—Jimmy

   
 
Stick 3 fingers in a 12 year old and there curiosity go's away pretty fast
 

 
 

— unknown

Notable b0g Articals

Benzin

Surpriseingly this post caused a minor outrage against the b0g community, far from lulzy they reacted with anti-lulz and and much butt hurtz over a dead kitty, sure its fine to post picture of dead infants who are riddled with buckshot from a high powered shotgun, but the second a cat set on fire with petrol in a cage screaming to death in way only a kitty can caused utter havoc.here

You like dead pussy ?

This too is a controversial post on b0g, although it didn't get as many hits on b0g as expected this has been theorized to be due to pandemic levels of desensitization all all who vist b0g more than 5 minuets at a time. This set of pictures is rumored to be produced by as special effects guy located some where in California, i say bullshit. If this set of photos are fake they are the best fakes i have EVAR seen. here

Lets inject shit

The reason why b0g existed for so long today and did not fall in to the dark space of the tubes, is because of the very first offensive post. Quick frankly if b0g did not spawn an offensive section there would be no sponsors and ergo no b0g as Tress' job at kmart could not afford the bi yearly hosting costs. here

b0g is dead

Featured Music

h4x0r5! - Kutnpaste

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