Baby Jesus

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Lies make Baby Jesus cry
Baby Jesus working for you.

Baby Jesus was a member of an Jew shat out in Bethlehem, Georgia, USA. This event was most accurately depicted in the 1995 movie "Species". The most likely candidate for the father was Joseph, a 31 year old unemployed neckbeard with micropenis. Upon his denial that the child was his, Mary forced him to appear on Maury and take a DNA test to find out once and for all if the black person was his.

He never cries, save for when people masturbate. To make Baby Jesus cry is almost as awesome as winning the internet, but many people love doing it anyway. Christians love to make him cry, and then repent by buying him some prostatots. This shows that Christians are indeed pedos, because it is documented in Their "Holy Grail" that he grew from an infant to an adult.

The lulz ensues when you and your black person steal the Baby Jesus from peoples' Christmas decor and strap him to the hood of your car. However, this is becoming difficult with the advent of new technology.

The Euphemism

'Baby Jesus' is also frequently used as a way for poor, white trash fundies to tell their kids not to buttrape their neighbors in the trailer park. Shitting in one's nest is not something baby Jesus would do (contrary to adult Jesus; see: Jesus).

Big Baby Jesus

The true Second Coming of Christ, he performed a resurrection miracle just two days before his 36th Chamber.


Not to be confused with...

  • Adult Jesus, who gave his life for mankind in order to stop the evil robots from destroying Zion, who in turn refuse to believe what he said.
  • Your mom

Baby Jesus Laughs When You...

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