Banksy

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After he made enough money to retire from three paintings.

Banksy is a Britfag graffiti artist, wanted by the Man for spamming RL walls with forced memes. Unable to afford a canvas, yet somehow awash with paint, Banksy took to the chav-loaded streets of Bristol in 1992 to make things just a touch worse. Unfortunately, making more than a smeared mess with a can of Krylon takes talent, so our hero instead ripped off the idea of stenciling his images from Blek le Rat; the rest, as they say, is history.

Trolling IRL

In order to stand out from the billion other douchebags spraying their lame 'tags' everywhere, Banksy realized he needed some shocking content to get the attention of the slumbering masses. In order to goad the hypnotized citizenry into squeezing out a critical thought, he began tailoring the content of his work to the situation at hand. He attempted to do this by throwing as many provocative and political buzzwords to the wall as he could, regardless of whether he actually knew what he was talking about or not, desperately hoping that, if he threw enough, eventually, something might stick and he'd be hailed as some kind of radical, free-thinking messiah by hordes of hipster douchebags.

Unsurprisingly, it worked.

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Some argue that he is nothing but a vandal and should be v&.

   
 
We are concerned that Banksy's street art glorifies what is essentially vandalism.
 

 
 

—Diane Shakespeare, Keep Britain Tidy

Exit Through The Gift Shop

 
 
This is the inside story of Street Art - a brutal and revealing account of what happens when fame, money and vandalism collide. Exit Through the Gift Shop follows an eccentric shop-keeper turned amateur film-maker as he attempts to capture many of the world's most infamous vandals on camera, only to have a British stencil artist named Banksy turn the camcorder back on its owner with wildly unexpected results. One of the most provocative films about art ever made, Exit Through the Gift Shop is a fascinating study of low-level criminality, comradeship and incompetence. By turns shocking, hilarious and absurd, this is an enthralling modern-day fairytale... with bolt cutters.
 

 

—The Movie, on itself

Enjoy a 5 min preview as Banksy's lawyers ordered Jewtube to shut down any mirrors of his vandalism documentary


 
 
This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Paranoid Pictures.
 

 

—Banksy, saying to you that's only good when he's the one stealing from private property

The Simpsons Intro

Banksy's storyboard

In 2010 The Simpsons wanted to seem more hip and edgy, so they had renowned anti-capitalist subversive, Banksy, storyboard an intro to the show. Fox had it pulled, causing all of Banksy's fans to cry foul and claim that he his message was being censored - the message in question being, "Oooh, yeah, sweatshops are bad, right, yeah, capitalism, the plight of the worker, yeah, exploitation, the death of dreams and innocence, the ignorant happiness of the masses, yeah, subversion!!"



Powerword

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Did You Know: Banksy held an Ebay auction for his identity?



Many attempts have been made to discover the identity of this anon, resulting in failure across the board. Banksy appears to have many friends and as the number of people grows the probability of his secret being kept goes down. Some argue that it is quite possible Banksy is actually multiple people, or not even a person at all but a conspiracy by the aerosol industry to sell spraypaint to fanboys. Both are valid explanations for Banksy's identity being kept safe.

Chances are he's some bloke who works the corner store and can only afford his flat with the help of mum and dad. HA HA HA, DISREGARD THAT, HE'S OBVIOUSLY A NICE, MONEYED MIDDLE CLASS WHITE BOY WHO PROBABLY VOTES TORY AND HAS NEVER EXPERIENCED A BIT OF HARDSHIP IN HIS LIFE.

Art dealer's Butthurt

 
 
As a kid I always dreamt of growing up to be a character in Robin Hood. I just never realised I'd end up playing one of the gold coins.
 

 

—Banksy, I don't want to get v& for destroying walls, just buy my canvas, prints, and instalations instead

Banksy troll tactics are not just restricted to paint a traced rat stencil on some old bloke wall. He thought it would be fun to fuck with people who try to sell the walls he painted. Thus, Banksy created an Art Authentication Agency with the solely propose of denying requests from art dealers and gallerists who stupidly believed they could earn tons of money by buying wall chunks to ignorant propietors. Pest Control Office (as he called his agency) also serves a way to avoid being visited by the Brit Partyvan for his infantile art stunts, since if he authenticated a wall stencil he painted, it would be used against him by the authorities as a signed confession of his crimes.

That was the case of poor gallerist Stephan Keszler, who bought many of the walls Banksy painted on Palestine, which according to his calculations each one can worth up to $650,000, just to have his selling prospects ruined as Banksy's agency refused his verfication requests, as Pest Control knows beforehand that all the most important art auction houses cannot risk their reputation by trading pieces which haven't the Banksy le Rat™ seal of authenticity hologram. Lulz and jew tears ensued.

A jewish hobbie, stealing land from palestine sandniggers

Flame War with King Robbo

It's not fair! I damaged property before it was popular!

Nowadays, Banksy is now louded as one of the best hip and trendy new artists, and his career is basically the wet dream of any untalented leftard who can afford a degree in calarts. What could've gone wrong? Apparently many chavs and wiggers are unsuprisingly butthurt at him because their shitty, repetitive and unintelligible hip-hop scriblings on walls and public transportation are not being auctioned on Artnet, Phillips de Pury or Christie's, and thus accussing Banksy of being a sellout, when in the very deep they dream of being such sellouts. That was the story of the so called Graffiti UK pioneer King Robbo.

John Robertson more widely known in the street art community as Robbo, was one of the first losers in England to pretend he was hot shit by imitating the graffiti style of US poor niggers, and because of his demonstrations of rebelliousness (basically fuckin' shit up with spray cans) He got recognitions of easily impressed fellow hooligan skinheads for being such a pretty cool guy.

Nonetheless his rebel phase earn him no quid and he had no choice but be part of the machine and work as a cobbler. Last Thursday however, fortune knocks to his door as one of his most forgotten, defaced and decayed "works" (and apparently a Shrine of Street Art by the kewl kedz) was defaced by Banksy. Being utterly offended and full of USI, Robbo convinced many of his cronies to resurrect his failed career and started a Edit war over any of Banksy stencils as a revenge for the unforgivable sin of damaging his bad written nickname, not getting the irony of being both criminals (and idiots) as Banksy and him have no rights to vandalize property they did not own.

The "Graffiti War" as it was called, was one of the most unfunny and lulzless events of the last years. The only people interested on the whereabouts of two english middle-aged men making childish writings and paitings on walls were, apart from 15 year old kids in their teenage rebellion phase and tumblrites, the greedy jews behind the art market, who see in this manufactured feud the chance to double their income by having not just one, but two clowns doing the same unoriginal and pretentious shit.


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This of course was as fruitless as trying to Take down ED. This "war" barely hurt Banksy career as he understands how ephimeral his stencils on the street walls are, and he keeps getting money, awards and museum residencies for the free press headlines he received as expense of Robbo rage. Banksy cared so much about it that his only responses were just done to get Robbo angrier and achieve more exposure from his constant BAWWing.

Despite making some money and attention by relying heavily on the work of young and extremely untalented groupies, Robbo was a crippling old cunt compared to Banksy, and because of that he fell off in his loft 5 days prior to his launching exhibition, hitting his head and Permabanning himself IRL after 3 years and half of being in coma, thus ending his lame 15 minutes of fame in the Street Art Movement. This was so ironic, that tinfoil hat chavs started to blame Banksy as the culprit of his injury and death, as they naively believed that Robbo was a real threat to his graffiti hegemonic career.

In the end Robbo couldn't make a name on his own in the Annals of Art History as he will be always remembered as a bitter, butthurt, envious old twat that fought against renowned artist and social comentator Banksy, making his short and pathetic career attached forever to the undeserved achievements of an even more patethic and lacking of any talent lucky bastard.

TL;DR account of the Graffiti War

See Also

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External Links

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