A commonly-used phrase that describes the socially inept: Atheists, love shys, losers, Fanboys, cosplayers, nerds, slashfic authors, gamers, weeaboos, libertarians, anarchists, SJWs, tumblr users, furfags, bronies, /b/tards, trekkies, WoW players, Homestuck readers, Ediots, Wikipedia editors, Tropers, Goons, you, and most of all trolls. In other words, people who know that the light of day will expose them for the freaks they are; Thus,they go on ED or they dwell in their parents' basement, fapping while being ever so POLITICALLY INCORRECT :coolface: on the internet and live off pocky and KFC.
Note, however, that while most basement-dwellers do indeed live in a basement, this is not always the case. A basement-dweller needs only to live under the care of their parents long after he or she has the faculties necessary to become a contributing member of society. This includes being a twenty-year-old unemployed college dropout whose mother pays your rent (however, some basement dwellers will go to college and get a degree, only to return to their parents' house and fap like there is no tomorrow [see "A Confederacy of Dunces"]). Some "basement dwellers" still live in their parent's normal house as they did when they grew up, particularly if the house doesn't have a basement as is often the case in Europe and Texas because texans don't believe in basements -- they are unholy. Others still live in their parent's bedroom.
Excluded from the title basement-dweller are people who live with their parents for legitimate reasons. One must remember there is a difference between "living with mommy", and "living off mommy". Some examples of this include:
- Fapping at home between semesters of college
- No point in moving out if your college is a block away.
- Living at home because of financial problems (guess McDonald's doesn't pay as much as they used to)
- Living at home to assist in the care of one's own elderly parents.
- A very small minority of people who have or had a very serious and prolonged illness
- Being a member of an Italian or Chinese family.
Typical basement-dwellers are needlessly burdensome on their parents and/or government. Most of their time is taken up masturbating to furry porn and online sex games, going to nerdish conventions, eating cheese doodles, and playing D&D. In addition, as completists, they spend an inordinate amount of time on the Internets, using IRC, LiveJournal, partaking in Bandwidth_envy, and arguing vehemently over their particular branch of fandom. And yes, you will still be a basement-dweller, even after you've finished building your new "v0.1 2X Overdrive dual-ballast dual-T8-tube 128W 6,500k daylight fluorescent light." If you are an engineer or geologist, dig secret tunnel networks (or just a pressurized capsule network to transport M:tG cards) while making secret entrances to find D&D bong sessions and plastic crap.
How can I tell if an otherwise typical lolcow is a basement-dweller?
- There's a drop ceiling in their hideous webcam stills, and there's no way that said ceiling is in their "office," as they will claim. Wood paneling is also a dead giveaway.
Don't be fooled by the presence of a microwave, as the suspect's mother's kitchen can be used to throw people off the scent, but concentrate on the distinctive pallor of the individual's complexion which reveals their subterranean habitat.
A prime example of basement-dwellers and/or weeaboo dicks:
Basement-Dwellers & Trolls
- Suffering from greasy skin and warts caused by a lack of washing and living off junk food brought down by their moms every 30 minutes, because they are literally unable to move from the front of their computers.
- Poor eyesight caused by the endless glare of the computer screens or because they are asians.
- Rotting teeth caused by grinding them while thinking about sex, or caused by their soda, sugar and refrigerated food diet.
- Poor social life brought on by virtually no IRL interaction (mom bringing you down cookies - and some more boxes of tissues - doesn't count).
- A serious weight problem - they are either grossly bloated or hideously skinny. The ones with neckbeards are funnier, particularly when coupled with moobs.
- A rotten, diseased workspace swarmed with a massive collection of day-old used dishes, empty soda cans, and plastic crap, accumulated as a result of pure fucking laziness.
Of course the majority of basement-dwellers are actually trolls, and vice-versa.
引きっこもり. Japanese basement-dweller. Only difference being most japanese live in apartments, which do not have a basement. Even Japanese houses don't have basements, apparently prohibited by law. "Parasite single" is a term for those who live off their parents. The Britfag term "NEET" is also used.
—Francesco Jodice, describing the subject of his film
Interestingly enough, Hikikomori seem to feel that they've got it worse than their western counterparts. A Japanese basement-dweller will often explain that Japanese culture is so simultaneously repressive and demanding that they've never properly adapted to it, causing them to wet themselves if they venture out into the public. Unlike their western counterparts, it is estimated that more than half of all Hikikkomori abuse/ beat their parents, which makes them far more cooler while remaining anti-social losers. Male Hikikkomori may also explain that they feel they lack social role models because their fathers are entirely pussy-whipped. The large percentage of western basement-dwellers who have to import their Pocky and download their shota likely beg to differ. Hikikomori often go on 2ch, for which there is even a hikky board. It's against the rules on that board to tell the hikkys to go kill themselves. The cowardly hikkys who go on 2ch often whine and complain about their escapist culture being repressed, while establishing that they are no different from the other japs by blaming everything on the Koreans. Hikkys leech money off their parents to buy anime and manga paraphernalia so they can cum and drool all over it. You'd think that if they hated Japanese mainstream society so much they would band together in protest IRL (because no Jap can defy the urge to conform to a large group of people) or even use some of that money to buy a megaphone and shout out the window. (they wouldn't even have to leave their rooms) Instead, they go on 2ch and BAWWW about it like little babies.
Rozen Maiden has a Hikikomori as a main character. Much like Neon Genesis Evangelion before it, having a loser protagonist they could identify with meant that American weeaboos latched onto the show like parasitic lamprey, only this time the "sexy manga heroines" and cartoon lust objects weren't overstacked expressionless doll-like girls, but ACTUAL DOLLS.
Max Brooks' World War Z features an hikikomori who becomes an famous hero after the Zombie Apocalypse, eh slicing off zombie heads and not afraiding anyone with the help of an old, blind, gardener. The idea that an hikikomori could ever do anything useful for anyone is the least believable element of the previous sentence.
For a lighthearted and accurate look at the life of a Hikikkokomori, see the delightful shareware game, Yume Nikki. In it, a young girl overcomes her deepest fears and becomes an hero to Hikikkomori and Weeaboo all over the world. There's also the anime "Welcome to the NHK" which is mostly noteworthy because it doesn't involve power levels and robots for once, the protagonist is a lunatic and, most importantly, unlike you he wants to change his life and not remain an inept loser by doing something.
A cellar-dweller is not to be confused with a basement-dweller. Although a person can be both, they might also be one but not the other. Some people are neither, but this article is not about them.
A cellar-dweller might claim to live on the main floor of a house in that they occasionally sleep there, eat there or fetch food from the main floor. The cellar-dweller might even own the house. However, cellar-dwellers remain in their cellar or basement most of the time because they have chosen to abandon the outside world for the inside world of fantasy tabletop battlegames, similar online or computer games, or some other extremely time-consuming hobby like counterfeiting, manufacturing drugs or raping the shit out of your secret prisoner.
Cellar-dwellers all over the world rejoiced in 1998 when death punk band Antiworld wrote a song just for them, entitled 'Cellar Dweller.'
- System of a Down
- Fall Out Boy
- Linkin Park
- Limp Bizkit
- Guns 'N' Roses
- Kid Rock
- My Chemical Romance
- Fat Larry's Band
- Final Fantasy VII OST
- Rozen Maiden OST
- Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto
- Erik "Tazman" Mokracek
- fakesagan - TheAmazingAtheist's other favorite fuckbuddy
- Faust & Kikyo Maaka
- Glasses Teenager
- Ground floor
- HelenBaby - An Epic Failure even at basement dwelling
- Jamie Baillie
- John Skelton
- Josef Fritzl
- Joshua Goldberg
- Kimmo Alm
- King Of The Nerds
- LAN Party
- Love Shy
- Matthew Nicholson
- Marjan Siklic
- My Little Pony
- Sick fuck
- Sonic the Hedgehog
- Spending too long on the internet
- Trey Eric Sesler
- Tom Galloway
- Vault Dweller
- VenomFangX - The AmazingAtheist's favorite fuckbuddy
- World of Warcraft
- Need some money to renovate your basement? Click here!
- The Shut-In Network, where basement dwellers dwell
is part of a series on
[Go Live One]