From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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|Negress DNA is only 49% human. DO NOT APPROACH|
The Black chick, commonly known as Shaniqua or Nigerius obnoxious is an extremely dangerous and territorial animal. Black chicks roam in packs, and constantly produce a loud, ear-piercing screech that can cause irreparable damage to the middle-ear. Black chicks can also cause damage to the eyes which will be explained later. Not to be confused with ebony baby chikins, which are considerably more pleasing to the eyes, and which one day end up in black chicks.
Black chicks subsist entirely on food of the fried, fast, and snack variety, making most of them repulsively overweight. They are not ashamed of obesity and will often flaunt it by wearing tight, skimpy clothing. Seeing a fat black chick naked, or partially naked can cause the victim to vomit and pass out for as long as a week depending on how ugly said black chick is. They are known to possess large posterior regions, which have evolved to meet the evolutionary demand for increased drug storage capacity and the nigger breeding preference for "a bitch wit sum azz."
Anatomy and physiology
All negressess have repulsively smelly vaginas that look, resemble and have the scent of spoiled roast beef that has been left in a refrigerator for too long. Note to Non-black males who fancy fucking these black females, remember to clean yourselves up afterword to decrease the risks of rabies or AIDS.
Black bitches always roam in packs, and are known to regularly visit movie theaters, restaurants, nightclubs, and other venues. In public places, especially movie theaters, they will perform their loud, gossiping mating calls, which will disturb others and often lead to violent encounters. One thing you should always avoid is trying to discuss or argue with a black bitch because chances are she'll go apeshit and cuss you out while getting her violent Nigga friends to beat you senseless; no wonder why they say that black women are labeled "Bipolar."
Because of their size, their packs can take up a whole hall way at a mall or any other public place. To avoid this, throw a fried chicken leg off to the side of the hall. Even the best of friends will fight over it. (WARNING: Do not let them see the fried chicken before you throw it, or you will be crushed)
Black chicks are blissfully unaware that everyone, including black men, find them physically repulsive. However, because black men will stick their cocks in anything warm and sticky, including black chicks, they have a tendency to be promiscuous and 98.3% of all black babies are born to unwed teenage mothers. The remaining percentage are born to unwed preteen mothers.
On the Internets
Many black chicks have learned how to operate computers, and some even figured out how to create MySpace pages for themselves. Do not, under any circumstances, view a black chick's MySpace, as they often post skimpy pictures of themselves which, along with the bad selection of music that autoplays, can cause permanent sensory damage to the eyes and ears. A big sign you have a black chick in your midst is she ends signs every comment with SMH or SMDH.
Black chicks are ferocious fighters. They will leap at their victims, pulling hair, and thrashing with their sharp talons. The sheer weight of their asses is enough to crush the bones of a grown man's leg. Do not attempt to fight them.
Although in some rare cases it is possible to find a black chick who is nearly fluent in English, they by and large prefer to communicate in their native language. Black chicks are very social and often play games with each other such as:
- "Oh No You Di'int" in which players attempt to speak louder than the competitors. Loudest voice wins the argument.
- "Who My Baby Daddy" in which the pregnant black chick and her friends analyze factors such as income, stability, and gullibility to choose which of several men she slept with in the past 2 months will be paying her child support.
- "Step Off Mah Man Ho" a physical sport where two or more contestants attempt to strip each other of fake hair, nails clothing and jewelry. The one who keeps most of her enhancements (and therefore reveals the least amount of natural ugliness) "wins" the man, although he continues to sleep with them all anyway.
The black chick is a pack animal and rarely travels anywhere without her "girls" and screaming, ill-behaved children. Common destinations include Church's Chicken, Beauty Supply Stores, Hair/Nail Salons, and, for the older generation of Nigra women born before the race split off from the human species, church.
Since niggers have been proven to be one of the missing links to the human evolutionary chart and therefore are not humans they have a rather different yet similar birth process. Whenever a young negro finds a local nigra(usually with a name like Boqui'qui or Tyamonesia), he must act fast. As stated, nigras are very desperate animals and feed off of cum, so it comes to no surprise that they can be impregnated so soon and quick. Once the male nigger implanted his purple flavored seeds, he must make a quick getaway to avoid paying for childcare. To normal human women, they usually do not give birth to a child until their twenties or even thirties. However, to normal black chicks they start giving birth as soon as they turn 12.
Once they are pregnant, they return to their comfort zone which is inside a rat-infested bathroom somewhere located in the ghetto. It is a well known fact that all black women take about 9-months to take a shit. The reason for this is because of all the food stored into their stomachs(which mainly consist of fried chicken and watermelons) has caused her bloat(which explains why most of them are fat) combined with sperm has caused them to form a gigantic piece of feces. Once the nine-month trial is over, they will then flush the toilet which will inevitably cause the toilet to flood. There, it will discover that the traces of poo she had left is now a living creature and must care for it.
Or they could always throw it in the trash can and let it die and rot so the vultures can feed off of it. In doing this, nigras will save themselves the trouble of needing to worry about a creature/pet that they won't take care of anyways. Additionally, black women will save the entire world the trouble of another nigger robbing the liquor store for some 40 oz malt liquor.
Relationships with other Nigras
Due to their extreme hostility, disturbing anatomy, and resemblance to god's mistake the hippo, black males are usually disgusted by their female counterparts and overwhelmingly prefer white wiminz, who are universally accepted as perfect in every way. Black men claim to have love for their "sisters" (blacks like to pretend they are one big family since they tend not to have a real one), despite the fact that they will cheat on them and desert them at the drop of a hat, which is keeping with the niggers code of honor, which goes thusly:
—-Bill Cosby, 'The Niggers Code of Honor'
Relations with men of other races
White men and Azn men show little interest in the colored ape known as the black girl. This is likely due to the fact that both races of men prefer their women to be attractive, petite, literate, not addicted to drugs, and free of HIV, none of which the black girl can legitimately claim to be. White men, however, have for hundred's of years made a sporting hobby out of impregnating poor, ignorant (and often enslaved) black women, creating half breeds just for the lulz. This is evidenced by the occasional beautiful black woman, as well as the anomalous "intelligent" nigger who wears a suit, speaks English, and possesses basic cognitive skills- traits that normally would be impossible for a black to possess without white or AZN genes. (See Barack Obama)
Latino men, in their never ending pursuit to be better at being a nigger than actual niggers, love black women. This is not so unusual, however, as Latin women have much in common with niggeresses that would explain the common gardener's attraction to them. Being overweight, unemployed, frequently pregnant, toothless, drunk, heavily scarred, loud, rude, uneducated, promiscuous, diseased, ugly, lazy, stinky, and having fat asses with which to take disgusting dumps are traits that both breed of woman share.
Similarity to Hippos
Black women are noted for being nearly identical to the hippo, which is also obese, black, toothless, angry and dumb. Together, the negress and the hippo comprise the two biggest dangers one faces in Africa: being eaten by a hippo or catching AIDS from a nigger girl.
Some of the noted similarities between the black chick and the hippo:
- Work as receptionists
- Stink even after being in water all day
- Treated as game by white men
- DO NOT WANT
- Have problems with locomotion over land.
- God is ashamed to have created them
- Black men will fuck it if there are no white wiminz to rape
- Beat their children
- Take ENORMOUS dumps all over the place
- Tip over kayaks
- Look hilarious when wearing human clothes and makeup
- Appear in rap videos
- Both are the two least feminine creatures on Earth
- Bad genes
- Breath stinks
- NO PROFIT!
Because every group of people deserve a little blurb of positivity. So despite what was previously described here (and what many bitter disgruntled men of the black race will tell you (see lie) black females receive higher education than black males, who are more likely to end up in jail than college. Black women date inter-racially in less numbers than their male counterparts often either due to racial loyalty or the stigma of slavery rape. The times you do see a black woman accompanied by a white male they are often attractive, physically fit and educated. On the other hand, overweight white women are more likely to be the kind of women you will see accompanied by black men, who often have a look on their face as if they hit the jack pot with a white wimmen (often referred to as 'pawgs' phat ass white girls) on their arms. However, there are double standard among Black women dating White men for Black males.
Noteworthy White Males Who Have Dated or Married Black Women
- Prince Albert of Monaco
- Gabriel Aubrey
- Vic Damone
- Roland Betts
- David Bowie
- Gerard Butler
- Eric Clapton
- George Clooney
- Ted Danson
- Bill De Blasio
- Robert De Niro
- Johnny Depp
- Leonardo DiCaprio
- Bob Dylan
- Roger Ebert
- Cary Elwes
- Mick Jagger
- George Lucas
- Olivier Martinez
- Prince Maximilian of Liechtenstein
- Peter Norton
- Sean Penn
- Brad Pitt
- Iggy Pop
- Wolfgang Puck
- Matt Stone
- Robin Thicke
- Donnie Wahlberg
Non Noteworthy White Males Who Have Mingled With Black Women
|blk wiminz||About missing Pics|
- Sittin On Tha Toilet - One of the most famous and "lulzy" musician/rapper black female on the Internet and especially Youtube.
- Slut - Most of which are actually not black chicks, surprisingly.
- Sheneequa - The name of 85% of the negress population