Lolgo.png Forum   Icon External Link IRC.png IRC   Fb-favicon.png Facebook    Twitter-favicon.png Twitter    Tumblr-favicon.gif Blog    Steampowered favicon.png Steam    Reddit-favicon.gif Reddit    Google Plus Favicon.png Google+

   8chan-favicon.png 8chan    Youtube-favicon.png YouTube    Disqus-icon.png Disqus    Pinterest-icon.png Pinterest    Tor icon onion.jpg .Onion

Portals   2015   ED in the News   Admins   Archive   Donate to ED   Donors   Advertise on ED

Anonymous VPN Service + Torrent Proxy

Free Webcams - 100% fucking free - Create a free account to chat with hundreds of girls

Weblog

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

(Redirected from Blog)
Jump to: navigation, search
The era of the bathroom wall is over.
What? This article needs moar real life examples in the popular topics-section.
You can help by adding moar real life examples in the popular topics-section.
Today the blogosphere... Tomorrow the Twittersphere

The blogosphere is perhaps the quintessential example of a castle in the air. Everyone wanted to read blogs and everyone wanted to write blogs in the years 2006-2010. The media told us they would replace newspapers and magazines. But no one seemed to get anything out of the blogs. Most people can say that a book, a Wiki or a forumpost pushed their life in a new direction, but the same thing can not be said about blogs they visited. Blogs were prophesized to replace newspapers and magazines. What went wrong? To answer this question we must first ask ourselves: What is a blog? It is a website maintained by an individual, clique or organization for the purpose of posting (amateurish) articles about a(n) (un)specific subject. Hang on there, a website maintained by an individual! Blogging is just a toolkit for creating amateur websites – a concept we rejected in the early 2000s in favour of Wikis and web communities. All they did was generate a vertical pane, add funky colors, and change the name from "Guestbook" to "Comments". And what was the medias stake in all this? If you don't report news that are not really news, then you can compensate by saying things exist that don't (i.e lie).

Contents

Success

Here are the necessary ingredients for a a successful blog.

  • Nothing Make your blog as barren as possible. Then quit while you are ahead.
  • Everything and nothing Write about a broad topic such as Apple and never narrow it down. This will make sure you don't know what the fuck you are talking about, so everything becomes fan wank. When writing a personal blog mention everything you like, because the whole of mankind has exactly the same taste as you.
  • Uninspired information Don't become a sellout by telling a story or in another regard try to please the reader. Instead, each time you think "Hey look at this random thing I for a total arbitrary reason find interesting", add it to the blog.
  • Unupdated information Make sure you never update regularly.
  • Uncopyedited information Don't think about what makes literature good – Instead just scribble all you have to say down and call it a day.

Types

  • Microblog (brief text or low-fi picture + weblog) Exactly what the name suggests. Almost everyone microblogs with the help of Twitter or Instagram. These are internally linked microblogging services which are made to make it easier to stalk and cyber bully celebrities.
  • Vlog - (video + weblog) a weblog consisting of videos of a fat idiot responding to some faggot (see YouTube).
  • Photoblog - (photograph + weblog) a weblog primarily consisting of photographs (see Jameth and camwhore).
  • Imageblog - (image + weblog) a weblog showing images, especially ones the author found somewhere on the internet (see Spaceghetto).
  • Moblog - (mobile + weblog) a weblog updated from a mobile device. This is now an obsolete term because everyone uses Twitter or Instagram. It also a gay term because no one ever used it.

Popular Topics

Flow chart in case you are planning to start a blog.

"Blogs," as weblogs are more commonly known, come in variety of flavors.

  • Politics
    • Author Profile: Intense, angry, probably a virgin
    • Typical Talking Point: Why are foreigners so bad at traveling?
    • Representative Public Reply: OMG!!! Noes u suck!
  • Celebrity
    • Author Profile: Fat, horny, obsessed
    • Typical Talking Point: I want to suck Brad!!!
    • Representative Public Reply: OMG!!! He's gay!
  • Literature and The Arts
    • Author Profile: Neurotic, irritated by spelling errors, married to sock puppet
    • Typical Talking Point: How low has sunk our once lofty level of discourse.
    • Representative Public Reply: OMG!!! You're gay!
  • Philosophy and Theology
    • Author Profile: Loud, dogmatic, product of incestuous parents
    • Typical Talking Point: Does a spiritual hammer of righteousness always trump a cosmic shield of purity or does that only apply to dwarves?
    • Representative Public Reply: OMG!!! You're too lame to be gay!
  • Journal i.e. Blather Log
    • Author Profile: Likes mirrors, masturbates so often is becoming bored with it
    • Typical Talking Point: Blah blah blabbittyblahblah blah blah ME!
    • Representative Public Reply: OMG! I know what you mean!!! Once I blahblah blahbittyblah blah blah ME!
    • Note that journalists like LJ users sometimes react violently when others accuse them of keeping a diary. Blogs clearly are nowhere near as interesting as someone's diary, consisting of 50 memes and pictures of the author costumed in full furry regalia.

The Proper Way To Vlog

  • Don't. But if you must:
  • Remember to never rehearse for your cam whore vlog. After all, this is the real you that they want to see, not some rehearsed, well-delivered speech.
  • So never edit even a single second out of your video. Your every "ummm" and "so... what else?" and "what was I talking about?", and long gaps of dead air are all crucial to the real message that is insight into the real you! Don't mess with perfection, babe.
  • Don't make direct eye contact with the camera for more than one second unless you are very angry. This gives the impression that you are "staring down" the audience and that makes them nervous.
  • Don't sit still. Show them your excitement by nervously fidgeting throughout the entire video.
  • Let's face it, no sane human being would look for random vlogs willingly, so be sure to load up the video description with as many keywords as possible. Example: "vlog, sad, depressed, school girl]] |Naruto incest blink-182 greengday Harry buttsecks Draco..." etc. etc.
  • When you are talking, end every sentence with an upward inflection in your tone, as if everything is a question?
  • If someone makes fun of you on YouTube, respond with a raging tantrum expressing all of your heartfelt disgust, anger, and resentment at this person. Just completely let loose, scream and use profanity, threaten to kill them, anything.
  • When people start laughing at that angry vlog, immediately take it down and replace it with a new version where you are calm and you pretend not to be bothered by the people who make fun of you.
  • Remember to gear your material toward the crowd that would be most attracted to you. If you are a somewhat attractive female, try doing sexy things on camera and you will attract desperate, horny guys, most of them registered sex offenders. If you are a fat chick, pretend you are a lesbian and you will soon have the entire community at your side. If you are a socially inept 16 year old girl with small breasts and pale skin, go for the furry or NeoPets community.
  • Lie, lie, lie! Let's get real here, you're fucking boring. You have to fabricate stories of terrible things happening to you and how you will "be strong" and "never give up". Tell them you have cancer, pretend to be crippled, tell them you have a gay, retarded, Jewish stepbrother named Mickey who has been disowned by his father and you're the only one who is there for him. Be creative.
  • If the people that made fun of you just become too much for you to handle, move to LiveVideo, but not after making your last vlog that tells everyone you are leaving because of LiveVideo's features and whatnot.
  • If all of the above fail to make an entertaining vlog, take a loaded shotgun, put it in your mouth, and become An Hero on your vlog. That always kills. In fact, just do this one first.


If All Else Fails, Make a good video about something interesting k bai thnx:


Gallery

Blogs with articles

External Links

Web 2.0 style example.png
Weblog
is part of a series on
Web 2.0
Web 2.0 Concepts

Social networkingSocial networking sitesBloggingBlogosphereHashtagMemorial Page TourismPHPHypercubePodcastingWikiingAjaxRuby on RailsInternet HumanitarianismX is not your personal armyUnfriendingUser-generated contentiTunes Store

Web 2.0 Sites

anonmgurAnswerbagBeboBlingeeBlogtvBroadcasterBuzzfeedChaChaDel.icio.usDeviantARTdiggDreamhostDuckDuckGoeBayFacebookFarm TownFoursquareGossip ReportHawkeeHuluInstagramjustin.tvKloutlast.fmLiveJournalLiveVideomycribMySpaceNewgroundsNingRap GeniusRedditSalonslashdotStickamTumblrTwitterWikipediaXangaYahoo! AnswersYouTube

People of Web 2.0

Fast EddieTom AndersonSteve ChenBrad FitzpatrickMax GoldbergMichael CrookIain HallChad HurleyKevin RoseOMGFactsKathy SierraJimmy WalesYouMark Zuckerberg

Weblog is part of a series on Language & Communication
Languages and DialectsGrammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and UsageRhetorical StrategiesPoetryThe Politics of Language and CommunicationMediaVisual Rhetoric
Click topics to expand

1337Сибирской говорAmerican LanguageAOL speakBabelfishBemmelCheeky Nando'sDyslexiaEbonicsEnglishEngrishEsperantoHebrewHTMLInternets EnglishKlingonLatinMathematicsMoonspeakPirateShort typeToki PonaWikipedeseУпячка

^(sic)A and anAbbreviationALL CAPSAltcapsAmiriteBaleetB0rkCommasCry moarDINDUNUFFINE- (prefix)Ellipsisetc.EVARExclamation PointGARGeneric ArticleGood SpellingGraphic transcriptionH8Homosexual EpithetsHottIntroduction to Englishj/kkthxbyeLiekLikeLiterallyMehMoarNaoNeverNo HomoOhOh noesOppositesPloxPlzPlskthxPindosPortmanteauPplpr0nProllyPunPwntrSerious DiscussionSkillSlashSome argueSpellcheckSrslyStuffSupThere, Their, and They'reTehTildeTo, Too, and TwoTypicalTypoTwiceUberUnderscoreUser Stress SyndromeViriiWat doLOL WUTWhatWhateverWhat-EVERWinnarw00tWordYesNoYou're/YourYour a fucking idiot

AnalogyAnd Fuck You AnywayAre You Fucking Kidding MeBale OutCircular LogicCondescensionConfirm/DenyConstructive CriticismCome at me broDubious DisclaimerDislikesEnglish Is Not My Native LanguageENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK ITExcuse me wtf r u doinFallacious ReasoningFaulty LogicFilibusterFlame WarsFuck Her Right In The PussyGo fuck yourselfKillerLieLogic and ReasonMessageNeologismNO UOBEYOpinionPrank callPseudo-intellectualRead a bookSarcasmSeems LegitShout OutSnarkSpamStaleStrategy GuideStraw ManStream of ConsciousnessSwearingTL;DRToo cool for the internetZing

Iambic PentameterPoetryPFFA

AdvertisingCensorshipClichéContextDan's Devil's DictionaryFree SpeechGender-neutral languageGrammar NaziL.U.L.Z.Noam ChomskyPersonal PronounsTHE POWER OF ONLINE VIDEO COMMUNICATIONStatisticsTranslationWordfilter

AIMBackmaskingBayeux TapestryBccBlogCell phoneChat LogsCommentsE-mailEverything2ForumHate MailICQInternetsIRCLiveJournalKindleMailing listMLB.tvMSNOld MediaPersonal MessagePowerpoint presentationRingtonesSidekickSkypeSocial Networking SitesSMSTelevisionWeb 2.0

<3A+ASCIIBigBlinkBrokenSpacebarDemotivatorsEmotesEmoticonsFifty Hitler PostGif WarGoobyGraphIconImage MacroHeateningsLe Pointy Nose Smiling FaceOtaku emoticonsRainbow blinkiesSmallSmileysMarqueeThis is BobVenn Diagram

HitlerPikachu.png
Portal icon social media.png

Weblog is part of a series on

Social Media

Visit the Social Media Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article October 7, 2005
Preceded by
Nietzsche
Weblog Succeeded by
Nikola Tesla
Personal tools
Spam ED Everywhere

If you like what we do whitelist us in adblock kthx

Anonymous VPN



Find us on Google+
VPN Service