Brett Keane

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Breaking news!
Fatso has now become a Feminist individjul. Expect this to change next week.

This person is dying of an unknown terminal disease situation, which randomly causes the eyes to stop working, and impairs the ability to work or walk outside. Please comfort him in his final moments by making sure he dies as painfully as possible.

The most ~~sexy~~ hated ~~atheist~~ ~~Christian~~ ~~atheist (again)~~ ~~deist~~ cockmongler on YouTube

Another day and another account situation for the scrub individjul.

If you ever needed proof that YouTube is a haven of the bottom of the barrel of humanity due to its easy access and relative ease of gaining exposure it gives its users; and that Atheists can be just as immoral, nasty, lying, scamming and stupid as any televangelist scam artist, look no further than Brett Keane.

Who is Brett Keane?

No Emos Allowed.... Well, Except for Brett Himself.

Brett Keane and his friends.

Brett Keane is a 39 year old thief, liar, and deadbeat wife-beating piglike welfare cheat with a pear-head and a sharpied-on mustachio. He lives in a trailer in ~~Festus, Missouri~~ New York, together with JDub where he spends all day playing ~~World of Warcraft~~(Couldn't afford it) and making YouTube videos every five minutes, while his heavily bruised and injured wife ~~works~~ welfares to support the family.
Some may point to people like FakeSagan, Coughlan666, TheAmazingAtheist and Inmendham as examples of atheists who are self-centered, lying twats...but they got nothing on the Keane. Unsurprisingly, Brett does not have any serious socio-political or ideological loyalties, as demonstrated by how he went back and forth from being an atheist to a Christian and back again (and even dabbled in Islam) all in the pursuit of eWelfare. If there's one thing he is loyal too, it's money from gullible idiots on the internet.

A Little Internet History

How Brett escapes depression

Born illegitimately December 1st 1976 (seriously, he's only 39) to a family of unemployed white trash, an upbringing of domestic violence, drug abuse and emotional, physical trauma and other tumult during childhood and adolescence was unavoidable and has shaped the personality him today.

Somewhere around 2000, Brett Keane first infected the internet (like a fungal rash), with several half-baked websites and message board accounts, where he tried peddling his illiterate Christian Goth "novels" and incompetent attempts at "music".
Unexpectedly, he got banned from every single site his ugly mug appeared on.
He therefore tried to hide his fat head, and use pseudonyms such as Damion Andrews.
Brett Keane started off his YouTube career with surprisingly mundane videos about science and atheism without even showing his face and in the most inoffensive way possible. As his videos started getting ~~more~~ attention, this single feeble iota of power went to his bloated head, and he began appearing on camera (to the displeasure of everyone), proclaiming himself "the sexiest YouTube atheist" and making 400,000 videos a day.
He began posting ~~insulting~~ insultive videos mocking random YouTubers for not being atheists. Then he made videos on every topic in existence. Politics, video games, fitness, there wasn't a topic this genius wouldn't pontificate about, not because he gave a shit or knew anything about this stuff, he just did it because he wanted to get his videos to be the top rated in every subject.

Brett began to build a (very, very small) cult following. Soon, the other 99.9999999% of YouTube (that existed outside of the microscopic Brett Keane Tonguebath Cult) began to criticize him for his shallow, dull and inane videos. Manbearpig lost his shit like a Gorilla on a strict diet of All-bran and Ex-Lax. He began blocking and insulting everyone, foolishly believing his ass was bulletproof. It got so deranged, even his former fans crusaded against him. This led to the paranoid fatass releasing personal info on other (sometimes random) YouTube channels that he blamed for all his troubles. In Brett's fevered imagination, it's always a cabal of two or three people that are behind his failures to thrive.
This led to a righteous Banhammer smiting, and his migrating in disgrace to other websites, such as LiveVideo before his antics led to bans there as well. Eventually, he tried several times to come back to YouTube, only to be told to GTFO. He has obtained a cheated youtube partnership from FattyCabbie, so he can supplement his welfare checks with JewTube dollars, because that is totally allowed.

To see that every accusation against Brett is true

“	"What's next? What are you gonna do now? You gonna pawn me, ask me some more stupid questions, about something you think happened years ago, or whatever? I don't care. I am wasting my time with you, d0pe. No more attention for you kid."	„

How he became the most hated man on the internet

Plagiarizing

Lightfingered Brett never met an anything he wouldn't gladly steal. Considering how he has everything just handed to him by the Gubmint and his dull-witted fanbase...he doesn't see why everything else shouldn't be free for the taking as well. He's been caught claiming ownership of an essay that he merely copypasted. He's been caught claiming ownership of poems that he merely copypasted. He's been caught claiming ownership of Here's a non-YouTube mirror song lyrics that he merely copypasted. To him, anything that can be acquired through Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V is same as a valid purchase.

His most famous copypasta moment was when he stole the work of female Judy Burnette, really a good choice with his newly found feminism.

Use scrollbar to see the full text

So many image race through my mind

whenever I speak your name
It seems without you in my life things will never be the same

What happened to those days When I was just a child
The Innocence When my life was consumed in you. In your life and in your smile

What happened to all those times when I always looked to you
No matter what happened in my life You always got me through

I turn to see your face Yet in my turning...it seems
the sound has been erased when life does not make sense

Who will be there to hold me close when the pieces just don't fit
if I could turn back time and once more hear your voice

I would tell you always know I love you and no one can take your place
Years may come and go but your memory will never be erased

Brett's "original" text

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Dad...so many images come to mind

whenever I speak your name;
It seems without you in my life things have never been the same.

What happened to those lazy days when I was just a child;
When my life was consumed in you in your love, and in your smile.

What happened to all those times when I always looked to you;
No matter what happened in my life you could make my gray skies blue.

Dad, some days I hear your voice and turn to see your face;
Yet in my turning...it seems the sound has been erased.

Dad, who will I turn to for answers when life does not make sense;
Who will be there to hold me close when the pieces just don't fit.

Oh, Dad, if I could turn back time and once more hear your voice;
I'd tell you that out of all the dads you would still be my choice.

Please always know I love you and no one can take your place;
Years may come and go but your memory will never be erased.

Today, Jesus, as You are listening in your home above;
Would you go and find my dad and give him all my love.

Judy Burnett's poem

The original theft

Stealing from other people

How he stole lyrics from HIM

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Brett copy-pasted the entirety of this in a song he called Life Is A Prison
Brett copy-pasted the entirety of this in a song he called When Is It Time
Brett copy-pasted the entirety of Stupid Game Of Me in a song he called Marching into Hell, that featured the iconic Hell March theme from Red Alert.
Brett copy-pasted the entirety of the lyrics written by a 15 year old girl (Still better at English than Brett will ever be)
Brett spliced together another YouTubers videos and passed them off as his own
Brett used to host a website where he ripped off news and passed them off as his own, without ever giving a source
Brett couldn't make his own shitty YouTube background so he stole one.
Brett copy-pasted the entiry of a rotten.com article into a video and passed it off as his own. To top it off he even put it on top of Slayer's South of Heaven, that was played in full.
Brett copy-pasted an article from Yahoo Finance
There are countless other examples of Brett stealing full lyrics, riffs, news, backgrounds, videos, whatever you can imagine.

Showing his wife love...with his fists

It was bad enough suspecting that he beats his wife; but MOM also felt the loving care of his amateur ass-kicking. Here's Brett trying to tell two different, mutually contradictory versions of why his wife filed a restraining order against Mr. Toad and his Pummeling Fists of Marital Bliss.

Apparently, the Grungy Huffalump has a Mean Streak

“	"This is really fucking sick"	„

Brett Keane not realizing he is talking about his own trifling ass.

Brett's "strangle teh wife" pose.

When backed into a corner, Brett will -- completely out of nowhere -- accuse his detractors of "attacking his wife"; which is cracked, because the only person people bitch about is Brett himself. He has made this accusation hundreds of times, but only one time has anyone ever said an unkind word about Dawn.
And here's it is, right from their sister-in-law....

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i have known brett for at least 18 years, Dawn for at least 20 years ( because she is my step sister). The truth about Brett and Dawn is that they are both LIARS. They where a match made in heaven. They will never amount to anything in there life except for being shit bums. Everything that comes out of there mouths is a lie. The only thing that they have to do in life is sit on the computer and spew there psyco babble bull shit. And trust me thats all it is is BULL SHIT. In this video they are dogging the step mother but that same mother bought them a car, moved them to a new state, took care of the kids when Dawn left Brett multiple times, took them money when ever they needed it. So ill let you make you own assumption about my mother. The only reason they are blaming her is because she cut them off. Now they are loosing there home and who do they call my mother. Asking to move in with her. So if one person is sooooo bad why in the hell would you ask a question like that. Again they are USERS and LOOSERS. So hopefully every one will get the message. And call them out on all the lies they have told"

Dawn's Sister-in-Law, with the inside scoop

The original E-beggar

June 2010
His house was supposedly going on auction. Begged for money.

Fall 2010
The Xbox360 slim is released. Fatty decides he needs one. Probably why he made up the story about getting shit-canned in the first place.

October 2010
Apparently forgets to pay rent from this month.

December 2010
Highlights his Amazon wish list in a video. Mentions how his kid already has an Xbox 360 Slim, and would like a Wii. The list totals $2,300

January 2011
Makes a video crying about how he is going to get evicted, for not paying rent since October. Magically the money needs $2,300. lines up perfectly with how much his Amazon wish list came to.

February 2011
Adds yet another item to his wish-list

March 2011
Now his new contract is up, and he could be evicted at any time. And he needs your money, so his family doesn't starve to death. How are they supposed to eat without a brand new Wii?

I'm rich and you bitch

Faking agoraphobia

Agoraphobia is fear of open spaces. So when Brett claims to suffer from this one shouldn't be expecting to see him

In a wide open forest

Outside this mansion in a wide open space

Strolling down this street,
without a care in the world

At this park in the middle of St. Louis

Outside this mansion in a wide open space

Strolling down this street,
without a care in the world

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Agoraphobia

About missing Pics

Being worse at gaming than DarkSydePhil

	“	Since I am pretty well-known in the gaming world, out there, a lot of people have watched my videos in the past. I find whenever I play MMO's or games like this, having to do with other users online, I tend to run into people, who have watched my videos, who like my work, and then they feel they wanna protect me and defend me and all that. I can't tell you one time playing a RTS game where an army has been able to kick my ass, because so many people have wanted to protect my little empires and shit.	„
	—Brett Keane, I'm Building an Empire and I Won't Be Defeated.

Random MMOs

About missing Pics

A game nobody has ever heard of, called Alganon. Even though nobody plays this shit, Brett was still forced off the server.‎

Playing a huntard in Allod.

Free to play. Too expensive for Brett.

B&

Of course the Keane Machine tried out D&D.	Like Brett's own grand fantasy of him being awesome.	We wish Brett would try to be an hero instead.	Charactername Youtubekeanevlogs
Charactername Brettkeane	Yep, playing a shit game at 8:50 AM.	Brett found his wife in game.	This game reminded him too much of his childhood.
Even shitty Japanese games doesn't escape the Keane.	Quit this quickly. Went back to wifebeating. Didn't lose there.	Stopped playing this, realized you couldn't ebeg here.	Drettkeane?
Trying to create HappyCabbie in Sims3, his favorite game. Seriously.	Hated this game.

World Of Warcraft

	“	Yes ladies and gentlemen, I am back to playing World Of Warcraft.	„

Brett Keane and family getting destroyed in WoW, by one guy

Blocked J-dubs over WoW

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WoW

About missing Pics

He hated WoW. Then he loved it. Sounds familiar? ‎

Brett loves fishing in real life, but in WoW he doesn't have to move.

Just like in real life, Brett wants to eat baloney in-game.

His most famous huntard. He gemmed it with intelligence originally.

Brett's Tauren named Brettdkeane. Never played it much.	He even named characters after his shitty books	He can't play a healer either.	Trying to punch his wife here as well.
Family union.	The guild. Never worked out.	With 10000 subs, he still couldn't find people to join his guild.	Another character.
Another character. This one named Zorastrian.	Another unused character.	Plethora of Pets 3/28/2013. Level 85 3/17/2013	Plethora of Pets 3/28/2013. Level 85 3/17/2013
Plethora of Pets 3/28/2013. Level 85 3/17/2013

Wanted a mount, so he e-begged

The X-53 Touring Rocket is a scam mount created by Blizzard, in order to get stupid WoW players into recruiting their friends, or using their details, in order to get a mount. And of course Brett wanted in on that action. More important than getting a job. Having already used all of his options in terms of friends, meaning he already used their details, he was unable to get this DLC. So off to YouTube and e-beg and cry. And somewhere some pathetic lonely basement dweller actually decided to pay money for this game, just so Brett could fly around before getting ganked repeatedly.

Please help me not get a job

The video

Look at me not getting a job

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Created fake book reviews

Brett is an arthur. Not an author, that would require him to be able to spell it. His books read like they were written by a dyslexic 6th grader who had one hour to turn in a 20 page assignment. None of his books got sold, as they are the worst thing ever put to paper. So he had to find out a new way to pawn off his Christian goth edgelord novels onto unsuspecting customers. The idea was to misuse Amazon.com's review system, by making up fake websites, or just downright posing as those, and writing positive reviews.

Brett's reviews of his own book

	“	Detective Reznor is by far the greatest detective I have ever read about.	„
	—Brett pretending to be detectivelovers.org

	“	Finally a book that gives life to demons & vampires	„
	—Brett pretending to be Horror.com

	“	Gommorah the witch is my favorite character. She is intellingent & cunning.	„
	—Brett pretending to be Pagans.com

	“	The book is a Hellish rollercoaster that I had the pleasure of riding!	„
	—Brett pretending to be Brett's own website www.serpentscradle.com

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Actual reviews of his book

Eternal Undying Love

	“	...this is one of the three worst books for sale on Amazon. The other two are also in this series. The book is poorly written. The plot is woeful. The dialogue seems to be written by children... Please, please, please do not waste your money buying this book or your time reading it.	„
	—C. VEAR

	“	This book is self published and it shows. The writing is choppy, the plot is disconnected and Mr. Keane's punctuation and grammar need serious work. Dialogue is not even comic book worthy.	„
	—jan hicks

	“	Brett keane is well known on youtube as a liar. He has accounts that he uses for flagging so i bet that he has some accounts on amazon to promote his book. Some of his reviews are most likely fake.	„
	—Brian McGee

	“	I bought a copy of this book through Amazon. The writing is extremely poor. This "author" doesn't even know how to divide text into paragraphs, so he inserts blank lines, right in the middle of sentences, to create the appearance of paragraphs on the page. That's how bad it is.	„
	—Doug Jones

	“	I love scifi. I thought I'd love this, but it sucks. Looks like it was written for a child and by a child, I mean like 10 yrs old. Who does the proof reading of these books? The author must've had all his friends vote for this book, cuz it stinks. So, now I'm back to reading Steven King books only. Is there a place I can return it?	„
	—A Kid's Review

	“	Brett Keane needs to learn how to punctuate and use paragraphs properly. To be 100% honest. I've seen young children to better.... It's just that quite of the book is written somewhat like this: Tom said "I hate you" Jim shook his head "I don't like you either" "FINE be that way" "Behave!" Mother called out. "I don't want to behave" "If you don't behave I'll kill you" "Go way!". Who's saying what? It's easy to get lost.... Each one of those pieces of dialogue should be a paragraph of their own.	„
	—Orphan

	“	It's bad! I read a few pages before buying, not worth pirating for free much less 15 bucks.	„
	—Chip

	“	Worst book ever made! 0/10!	„
	—Peace

	“	I don't know how this got published, but whoever considered it worth publishing was clearly polluted with the same mental sludge as the author. My peers were writing better stories, using better grammar, than this back when we were 10.	„
	—Liam Reilly

	“	I bought this book at a used bookstore for $2.00. I read two chapters of this book before promptly throwing it into the recycling bin. There is nothing about those two chapters worth mentioning except that it completely sucked. A few websites mention the fact that this book's editorial reviews were faked or fabricated. Save your money, don't buy this book.	„
	—CATAHA

	“	Brett Keane is a terrible writer. The characterizations are weak, the plot makes no sense, the prose makes E. L. James look like William Shakespeare, and the pacing is choppy and all over the place. DO NOT READ THIS BOOK by the indivijul we like to call brett "The Manatee" Keane situation.	„
	—christchin020

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False flagging, DMCAing and blocking everyone who disagrees with him

This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Brett Keane

Plagiarism, fake book reviews, wife beating, horrible gaming, e-begging what else could Brett possibly do that make himself more unlikable? Well, flag down anyone who dares to criticize him, of course. And if that doesn't work, send a DMCA, hope they counter-claim and use it to dox them. So was the case when straightd0pe made a video exposing him, and Brett was quick to retaliate by firing off the DMCA's.

And there are literally dozens of examples of Brett Keane DMCAing people.
And that's before we get to him and his butt-buddy JDubs flagging everyone. When the DMCA was successful all Burger Keane had to do was wait in order for the people affected to counter-notice, using their legal name, so he could proudly present it to the world. As was the case with straightd0pe, when he tried to claim that his real name was Edward. He later changed that story into that he found this name by doing a Google search. He later changed that story into that Gimmabreakman mentioned it in a video. A complete hackjob of a video. And he has obviously used this on myriads of other people as well.

So many examples

About missing Pics

I don't flag, I flag.

Threatning BLHProductions, more evidence that he was going to get b& soon

Brett Keane promises to take down the straightd0pe fanpage on Facebook. Didn't work out.

Debating the Brett Keane Way

If you were to ask Brett (of even if you DON'T ASK) he'll gladly tell you about his perfect record of never being defeated in a debate. This perfect record, of course, skips all of those times he has been defeated in debate. Which happens every time he debates someone.

Want to "Pawn" all the trolls telling hurtful truths about you and your eBegggin', ego-strokin' self?

This is how to "Pawn" Trolls.

A simple plan for a simple man.

A simple plan for a simple caveman, printed sloppily in crayon on drool-proof paper.

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Videos

Brett's butthurt comments away from jewtube after being brutually pwned by his haters and trolls

Brett telling a shitty story to try and pwn Benos and fails hard

Anonymous Will Pwn Brett Keane(Hopefully that's wishful thinking)

The Brett Keane song

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External links

http://grooveshark.com/#!/brettkeanemusic/broadcast

Brett's Own Accounts and sockpuppets

GamesULoveAnother channel along with Jdubs who hasn't tried to an_hero yet again for his attention seeking and being brett's pet.

BrettKeaneSuperstar Back as the super wife beating doc dropping fraud that is. GodTvRadioShow Christian.

~~GODTVRADIO~~ Was banned within 24 hours. LULZ.

~~BrettKeaneHollywood~~ With a name that he has delusional celebrity status. Even if it's for beating his wife, false flagging, pissing off his haters and trolls. Obviously

targeted for termination in the next days or months on. Banned for spambait

~~Sub2KeaneVlogs~~ Another one. He's also back, how long will his fat fingers last if he starts false_flagging? But he's not even relevant anymore since 2007. Even so he's just advertisting his brother's band Flagged for trying to pwn MrRepzion. Shit He has his wife on there at gunpoint trying to whore out his cheated partnered channel.

blackdethmetal His brother's band, nothing of importance. Maybe a song about ebegging or beating your wife would be suitable.

~~Gforlife77~~ Socketpuppet alert! Closed. Obviously.

~~Subscribe2KeaneVlog~~ Duuuh.

~~KeaneVlogs~~ HOLY FUCKING SITUATION THE FAT FUCK GOT PWNED BY MIZZSTAR, THOUGH WE'LL EXCEPT HIS FAT ASS RETURN SOONER OR LATER 2013 SMACKDOWN SITUATION SPECIAL: BACK FOR MORE Unwarranted_self_importance DRAMA THIEF ALERT !!! Make sure to double check for any PLAGIARISM!!!It might be and so he can talk about shit_no_one_cares_about all over again. Also back on his channel. Hoping he'll start shit with the haters and trolls again.

~~BrettKeaneVidz~~ Apparently a fan boy or his socket account made so when he gets butthurt over haters and trolls. He goes over there to cry about it.

~~AliCross510~~ Socket account to harass and troll William Ga's Google hangout, because Brett wants to be the little girl.

~~BrettKeane2HOT4YT~~(Meaning he's too hot for older women and wants his pedophile) He's now friends with HappyCabbie, BFF, after removing two of his strikes that were meant to be on his channel for being a huge retarded blob, and they can go both get cancer, meanwhile while MimicVendetta, portraying anonymous has caused a shitstorm, to make brett look like a fool by having other dude pretend to be his white_knight. Brett's response is just him being butthurt while golf clapping. Meaning ready to smack his wife afterwards. This account was too much cancer for youtube.

MrSTOPCriminalScum Where he uses troll bait for his haters

~~brettkeaneisgod~~ Terminated.

~~PopeLovesCandy~~ Brett's Newest Channel (first two videos is his introduction and some failed trolling attempt against a user named Benos and ShredderNeverDies, which also predicts he's going to make videos on another users that said bad and truthful things about him, because his cyber bullying site wasn't enough.] Well gaydubs obviously is the first one to comment on his vids, because he wants to fuck brett rape. Closed until he shits out a another new main account

~~brettkeanedotcom~~ CLOSED!

~~MrEvilution777~~ Click the Link. It clearly states he closed the account himself.

~~brettkeanejr~~ Here's the (dead) account he shared with his pet JDupe.

~~BrettKeaneWarcraft~~ His channel devoted to the World of Warcraft he insists he never plays anymore. CLOSED!

Failed Websites

http://brettkeanevideo.com/ NOPE FALSE ALARM, IT'S BACK UP The site was dead, looks like it's time for the ebegging season to begin. Because he's so shit at keeping a website together, because he has no real job to begin with. He's too busy white knighting Onision as to getting into other people's dramas. Note: Don't go to his website, all it'll do is give him money. Arvixe the webhoster pwned him for cyberstalking and like every brettkeanevideo webhoster pwned him for the millionth time.
http://keanevlogs.blogspot.com Apparently, the blog was hacked to make brett look less badass.
Golgothica One of his many failed websites.
His "Exposing Cyber-Bullies" Page (note the self-fellating URL.)
Twitvidfail ~~his Epic Butthurt Blog~~ ~~CLOSED!~~ No, RE-Opened! But because he closed the YouTube channel connected to it...there is no old content on it.
~~Brett's Stickam~~ Closed.
~~http://twitter.com/#!/MrBrettKeane I think this is a parody twitter, hence he loves beating his wife. And brett wouldn't say that on camera.~~ Deleted
http://brettkeane.weebly.com/ Nothing much, but you can contact him, by giving him nice messages
~~http://www.youtube.com/user/WorldofWarcraftScrub Where brett (A good for nothing)sucks at World of Warcraft.~~ CLOSED!
Brett's Pin Dick Another shitty link to his videos.

Gallery

Fatness

About missing Pics

Asking for Christmas/Birthday presents.

Waaah someone used my real name, and then they flagged me.

I can't wait to get my hands on that audio book, by revolutionary musician Brett Keane.

Another evidence of Brett's plagiarism.

And he kept that promise for almost 3 hours.	On welfare and receiving AdSense?	Brett Keane asking for it, before his got permabanned. OWNED MOTHERFUCKER.	When Brett's house actually went up for sale.	Brett's former house, which he couldn't afford to rent. Lulz
Proof that Brett will never leave YouTube.	His former best friend wanted to destroy Atheism.	His former best friend's ratings