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From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Bullshit is when you lie, but fail at it. Bullshitting is the aforementioned failure, and is considered a pretty good way of picking up some pussy at the local bar on a Friday night- by describing your rich, handsome cousin's life as your own, for example. Bullshit can also be used to describe nonsense, but is rarely used to do so.
The origins of the word "bullshit" do not require amazing deductive powers of internet nerds to deduce where the word came from. Why!? Just look at the word for a second...okay? Now find a cow and place your head directly under its ass (presumably after you have fed it large quantities of Chinese toilet paper). You must wait for at least 100 minutes until said cow delivers its large brown envelope. Note: this process is the only way to avoid becoming utterly confused about the true meaning of "bullshit."
If you're still confused, here are some more facts: At first, people used "humanpoop", but seeing as how the word "human" was not a four-letter word and to compare a human to a human would not be as lulzworthy as comparing a human to an animal, a new word had adopted. Also, people refused to use the word "poop" because it made them sound like a 13-year-old boy. Next, people started using "cowpie", but that was too unpopular considering that there were too many insults already found in the Insults for Dummies handbook that already used the word "cow" and there were too many complaints that the stuff did not even taste like pie. Additionally, "cow" did not pass the four-letter litmus test. Finally, after much trial and error, people switched to using the "bullshit." And there you have it, the history of bullshit.
It would also be worth noting that everything you have just read in the paragraph above is complete bullshit.
Bullshit of Note
- "The Bible is the most logical book ever written."
- "I am the leader of Anonymous!"
- "It's NOT a fucking Global Scam. We're going to SUE YOUR ASS!"
- "I am not a crook."
- "ICP kicks ass!!!!!!"
- "Juggalos are actually pretty awesome people".
- "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."
- "Saddam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction."
- "I love my wife, and stand with her during her candidacy."
- "I did not smuggle drugs into school."
- "FUCK YOU I'M A DRAGON!"
- "I'm not running my campaign based on playing off white guilt."
- "I'm not a dogfucking, subhuman racist lunatic! Really, I'm not!"
- "I did not rape and kill a women in 1990."
- "Racism stopped in the 1960s."
- "What you're doing to us is exactly the same as what Hitler did to the Jews!"
- "I'm not stealing donations to flee to Mootxico, honest."
- "Fair and balanced."
- "Iraq has weapons of mass destruction".
- "Boxxy totally cares about everyone on the internet, she's didn't create Catiewayne.com just to sell gullible basement dwellers her used crap and convince us to go see a shitty movie that's going to suck balls".
- "We've really moved...beyond sensationalist journalism."
- "Help! We're being oppressed!"
- "Being Gay is normal."
- "I'm not a racist, that's what's so insane about this!"
- "I'm not too old to be President."
- "My band started playing the wrong song and I didn't know what to do, so I'd thought I'd do a hoedown!"
- Wikipedia is a reliable website
- Wikipedia Admins are cute, cuddly, and sexy.
- There are certainly negros on the internet
- There are certainly women on the internet
- "I have psychic powers."
- "I'm one of the top artists!!"
- "I'm the Kurt Cobain of this generation."
- "Nickelodeon needs to fucking die!"
- Deadliest Warrior
- Encyclopedia Dramatica
- White Supremacy