Bump War

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Info non-talk.png Bump Wars will either be great success or epic fail. If you start a bump war and it fails, then you will feel very bad about yourself for at least 100 years. Very bad, indeed.

To initiate a Bump War one must first begin by announcing; 1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a Bump War!

History of Bump Warring

It is said that many years ago, trolls were getting bored by simply yelling at other people. NO U and lol wut were getting boring to use when trolling. A brave Anonymous then came up with the idea of a Bump War. This Anonymous was easily entertained, and at first, the technique was unrefined as a 16 year old girls lulz generating. Many used the technique, until it became the dream of every troll to use it. The only downside of this new Bump War, or Bump War Version 2, is that it is not as user friendly. That's why there is such a difference in how a Bump War will turn out. If you bump TOO many times at once, the lulz are lost and annoyance sets in. If you don't bump enough, then the rest are left salivating for more delicious bump, and then they bump too much, which is not good.

Ways to fail a Bump War

You can fail a bump war by not out bumping the other party in question or giving up. Either way, you need to go be an hero and end your useless life.

Ways to win a Bump War

  1. Rape the other bumpers.
  2. Bump so many times that the forum's bandwidth is screwed.
  3. Make the other regular members cry.
  4. Don't be a furry. The bump war god will smite you for trying.
  5. The object is to obliterate every other warring member. Show no mercy, and take no prisoners.
  6. ????
  7. PROFIT!

Bump War rules of conduct

  • Anyone and everyone except for those who initially fail may start or participate in a bump war.
  • Bump wars are best to have in highly sensitive and ordered areas, because ...well, chaos is fun. Why do you think shock sites were invented?
  • If someone tells you to stop, tell them where to shove it, laugh, and keep bumping.
  • Only an effective trolling technique if it is a coordinated attack.
  • Spontaneous bump wars may lead to a smaller penis. Generally, experienced trolls should be alright.

Places to have a Bump War

  1. Emo bumping
  2. More emo bumping
  3. Furry bumping

See also

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Bump War is part of a series on

Trolls

Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.

Bump War is part of a series on Language & Communication
Languages and DialectsGrammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and UsageRhetorical StrategiesPoetryThe Politics of Language and CommunicationMediaVisual Rhetoric
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