From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Do not try to find the CIA; that's impossible. Instead try to realize the truth, there is no CIA.
The Club for International Anarchy (a.k.a Cock Increment Agency, Central Israeli Agency, Cocksucker International Alliance) (CIA) is a terrorist organization founded at least 100 years ago by the Artificial Intelligence Computer (AIC) and functions as the international trolling apparatus of the US government. The manifesto of CIA members, or "agents" causing chaos, mayhem and peril by any means available. To this end they have been known to experiment with psychoactive drugs, goatse, mind control, and blanket surveillance. They are constantly watching everything, listening to everything, smelling everything (including your sister's panties). They have eyes everywhere, from orbital satellites to traffic cameras, all pointed at your bedroom window. The CIA are highly secretive, but are widely known for such pranks as illegal phone tapping, inciting revolution, kidnapping, assassination of key political figures, blowing up Afghanistan with missiles, training and supporting the same sandniggers in the 1980s and even leaving lint in the clothes dryer trap. They are rumored to be closely associated with the Jews. Many people have seen the Men in Black but are unable to recall the event. They won't let you remember. The CIA also has a habit of ousting democratically elected leaders, and also ruining the lives of other people for the benefit of the USA.
You now have 38 seconds to get the fuck out of your house.
Rules of CIA
- You do not talk about CIA.
- You DO NOT talk about CIA.
- If someone says stop, goes limp, taps out, the mission is over.
- Two agents to a mission.
- One mission at a time.
- Resort to the most inhuman methods of torture and violence to get a point across.
- Black shirts, black shoes (Johnny Cash, for example, was a CIA agent).
- Missions will go on as long as they have to.
- If this is your first night at CIA, you have a mission.
- If a mission goes bad then you know where the cyanide tablets are.
- CIA must not be confused with FBI or IBM.
- After a mission is completed, especially if it is an assassination, burn all files of said mission in order to cover your ass.
Assassination of US Citizens
B-rack Hussain Osama Bin Biden has authorized the CIA to murder US citizens if they are suspected, not verified terrorists. Again here even more here eventually he found a war exception here, so it's ok to do this and finally argued that it was secret here.
HARRASMENT TO THE THIRD DEGREE
Cia is known to harrass us citizens whom don't pay taxes. Here is a clear example of a perpetrator in their line of work. Every one knows who the CIA is but for the CIA themselves. They have a dick so far up their ass that they will do anything for credit to fame, whether it be shake hands with a communist or simply put have sex with the prostitute they set a sting up for. CIA DOES NOT LIKE PORNOGRAPHY.
When In Doubt: DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING
December 7 2008: The CIA has taken to acting butthurt by destroying videotapes of the interrogation of Al-Qaeda operatives in 2005, defending the controversial move as necessary to protect CIA staff.
—Hayden. Plame WHO?
'Waterboarding' film that ‘CIA doesn't want you to see' launched
Some girl struggles through news. Extra video points for an hero's mention.