Call of Duty: World at War

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Call of Duty - Keeping teenage pregancy rates down since 2003!

Call of Duty 4: Electric War Galore, more commonly mistaken as World at War, is a milked, half-ass piece of shit expansion pack to Call of Duty 4. Despite using the same exact engine, netcode, graphics, physics and templates of CoD4, Activision and Treyarch will try to tell you otherwise. While elite players ditched the piece of shit and stuck with CoD4, newcomers and kids praised Treyarch for their inclusion of unique and original features, like "Nazi zombies and making map packs because they care about their fanbase. If you like to kill filthy japs and get abused online by twelve year olds this is the game for you.

Despite being the laggiest, glitchiest, most broken piece of shit in existence, the game still sold millions. While Activision laughs their ass off bathing in childrens' money, the game received multiple awards including Best Shooter of 2008 and Best Online Game of 2008, the same awards given to Call of Duty 4. Why? Because any retard with half a brain can realize IT'S THE SAME FUCKING GAME.

Story

The campaign is the same fucking shit as Call of Duty 4 but with different character models, and Gary Oldman. The story is told from two perspectives: American and Russian. (Call of Duty 2, anyone?)

TL;DR: Americans try to raid Makin Atoll but get their stupid asses caught by Japanese soldiers and proceed to rape them in their safehouse. Miller breaks free and his team make their way to the heart of Okinawa, while Jew pisses and moans about everything along the way. Roebuck dies (unless you save his life in which case Polonsky dies) and as your reward, you get to keep his dogtags and commit suicide in disappointment.

In the Eastern Front, Stalingrad get their asses pwned by Germans and dogs. A cutscene shows some Germans shooting pidgeons and you follow Sgt. Reznov throughout the level, as he tells you when to take cover, and how to infiltrate the area. Sound familiar? After raping more Germans with tanks and flamethrowers all the way to Berlin, a guy gets kicked off a fucking roof, after wanting to surprise buttsex you as you're heroicly waving the Commie flag around like a retard, the entire Wehrmacht turn into zombies, and for the rest of the game you suck Reznov's dick.

Most of the story is blatantly ripped from movies and other games, such as the fountain scene in Stalingrad, which would give deja vu to anyone who has seen the movie: "Enemy at the Gates." Seriously it is literally the exact same thing, in fact if I was the producer on that movie I'd be suing Treyarch. Just like in Cawwadoody 2, in which you need to shoot some drunk Nazi machinegunner sitting high and dry ontop of a cliff, being exactly like the scene in which the faggot sniper shoots some drunk Nazi machinegunner sitting high and dry ontop of a cliff

Multiplayer

The game uses the same netcode as the piece of shit before it, because Treyarch can't develop an original game for jack shit. Despite Activision basically handing them over with the entire COD4 source code and mechanics, Treyarch still fucked up. The game was released with tons of bugs and glitches, including going under maps, infinite ammo and fucking dogs. None of the problems that Infinity Ward made were fixed, and Treyarch released the piece of shit in a hurry just to make fast money off little kids because nobody bought their gay Spiderman games. Of course, everyone knows that attaching already shit plastic scopes to guns magically increases the range but decreases the damage.

Weapons

The MP40 is the only weapon available in multiplayer mode.

Semi/Fully Automatic Rifles

Despite using ammo that could kill a Grizzly Bear, they are somehow weaker than the SMGs.

  • Gewehr 43 - Semi-auto rifle that is shit due to the fact it gets the worst of both worlds by both lacking the one-hit-kill of a bolt action and the full auto rape of the SMG's and machine guns. However people still use it just to unlock the almighty "Schiessbecher" grenade launcher and then use the Overkill perk with two grenade launchers for extra lulz.
  • SVT-40 - Reskin of the Gewehr 43, there is liturally no difference between this and the Gewehr 43 showing that Trayarch is resorting to cheap methods of padding out the life span of the game as after you've finially done all the achivements and unlocked all the attachments for the Gewehr 43 (which is no mean feat as the Gewehr is a piece of shit and you will be going up against dickwads with MP40's), you get to do it all over again with this equally shitty gun. Woop de fucking do.
  • M1 Garand - American weapon that sucks. Gee, I wonder why, Treyarch? The only redeeming factor is an unlockable sniper scope, but it's pointless since the MP40 is already the best sniper rifle in the game.
  • STG-44 - Despite Treyarch being of a bunch of fucking Nazis, this gun is utter trash unless you use it in hardcore mode, in which case it kills in half a bullet.
  • M1 Carbine - American peashooter that is somehow the strongest semi-auto rifle in the game dispite only firing an intermediate power round, takes forever to unlock.

Submachine Guns

a.k.a. the most h4xxor guns in the game and as such are used by everyone whos not trying to be a sniper fag (approx 80% of all players depending on the map) due to the fact they are the most overpowered and easiest to use weapons in the game, with the possible exception of tanks.

  • MP40 - Another example of how the developers fucked up. This weapon is used by 99% of online players because Treyarch, being the sick, Jew-hating Nazis they are, love to increase the damage of all German weapons in the game. If the weapons in this game were same ones used in the real war, Germany would have fucked the entire planet in one day. The MP40 is superior to all other weapons at short, medium and long range and it's more powerful than the BAR. Be sure to slap on an aperture sight suppressor (this haxor gun is just fine with iron sights) and hide in a building for the entire fucking match. Because, out of all the tactics you could possibly think of to use a mobile assault weapon for, clearly the most obvious one would be pointing it out a fucking window like it's a sniper rifle. Either way, there's no point using anything else because literally 99.9% of everybody you will find online will be using this, so you'll be at a disadvantage.
  • Thompson - The somewhat less-scrubbish version of the MP40, it does less damage because Treyarch fucking hates America. Either way, you're still probably using it with Juggernaut, you cheap faggot.
  • Type 100 - SMG for Japs and anime fans and sounds weak and shitty like a broken typewriter.
  • PPSh-41 - You could use it to spray the shit out of every enemy human and dog you see, but why use it when you, being the faggot you are, can use the MP40? 'nough said.

Machine Guns

These things effectivly combine the power of the rifles with the fire rate of the SMGs, yet they still lose to the SMGs MP40.

  • Type 99 - Some Jap asshole thought it would be a funny idea to create a powerful machine gun (even though they didn't as this gun is just a rip off of captured British Bren light machine guns), and give it the worst iron sights ever. 1337 players use it for XP challenge points and never touch it again. Protip: IRL the japs added bayonets to their mounted machine guns, disproving the theory that the atomic bombs made them the stupid fucks they are today.
  • BAR - Light machine gun designed by retarded Amerifags who thought holding only 20 rounds makes for a huge volume of fire.
  • DP-28 - The Double Penetration model 28 light machine gun was designed to be used by dirt stupid peasants IRL and dirt stupid little kids in game. It makes a kickass sound but thats pretty much the only reason anyone would use it. It is Russian, afterall.
  • MG42 - A 26 pound machine gun that you spam like its nobody's fucking business.
  • FG42 - More like FAG42, amirite? As soon as you fire it, it runs out of ammo. Despite being an automatic rifle IRL that recoiled so hard you got Parkinson's, it's considered the best MG in the game by 13 year old boys who love that you can blow the whole mag at an enemy across the map with the telescopic sight.

Shotguns

Shotguns can kill in 1 hit if close enough (and the game feels like registering the hit). Compare to the SMGs which can kill in 1/2 a hit if close enough.

  • M1897 Trench Gun - American pump action shotgun. It sucks, big surprise. The shotguns do more damage than every other weapon at close range except the MP40, yet the final unlockable attachment for it is a bayonet.
  • Double-Barreled Shotgun - It does marginally more damage than the M1897 Trench Gun but it is has a shorter range (you can make it a sawed-off shotgun to decrease your range even more) and takes too long to reload its two measly stinking shots.

Bolt-Action Rifles

Except the PTRS-41 these are all reskins of the same gun because Treyarch are fucking lazy bastards. Pretty much useless unless fitted with a scope and used in the sniper role, because you'll just get spray n' prayed unless you're a mile away from the kids with automatic weapons MP40's.

  • Springfield - The M40A3 from COD4. Iron Sights are so fucking useless that Treyarch gives you the Scope right off and then it becomes Sniper Rifle Jesus, which is still pointless as the MP40 is the best sniper rifle in the game.
  • Arisaka - Use it with a bayonet and become an Japanese hero fail banzai charger.
  • Mosin-Nanget - The Communist version of the Springfield, also popular with rednecks as most of them have at least 10 of these things IRL that they brought dirt cheap at the local gun show.
  • Kar-98 - The Springfield but for nazis.
  • PTRS-41 - An anti-tank weapon that does nothing against tanks. Similar to the Barrett .50cal from Call of Duty 4, you can run around and fire from the hip or shoulder with this two meter long, twenty kilogram (44.1 pound) anti-tank rifle that fires a 14.5×114mm bullet. It's also clearly not a bolt-action rifle but is listed as such in the multiplayer weapon categories. There are no attachments for it and you can not remove the scope.

Miscellaneous

  • Semi-auto pistols - The American M1911, the Jap Nambu, the German P38, and the Russian TT-33 are just reskins of the same gun. Standard issue for ALL soldiers (not just the officers) in their respective armies according to Treyarch, yup sounds about right. Your country's in a huge ass war and your economy's in the shitter but why not arm all your millions of troops with stupid ass sidearms they'll never use? Oh yeah: did you know the Nambu was a piece of shit and fired a weaker cartridge than all the other pistols here? But no, Treyarch knows best I suppose.
  • .357 Magnum - American revolver with high power (omigod Treyarch, you did WHAT??). You can shoot all six of its bullets in one second and fire it so fast that it sounds like it's stuttering.
  • M2 Flamethrower - The original spray cannon and the most lulzy weapon, particulary in multiplayer as you can watch filthy Japs slowly get burned alive, Treyarch decided to fuck with it's fanbase by making the weapon available only at rank 65 in multiplayer. And everyone knows that if you don't prestige, you're a fag. Drops players dead in 1 second flat because Treyarch understands the properties of fire, and how it instantly kills its victim instead of slowly burning them to death in a deliciously sadistic fashion, you sick fuck.
  • Mk 2 Frag Grenade, RGD-33, Type 97 Hand Grenade, M24 Stielhandgranate - Fragmentation grenades (Mk. 2 and Type 97) and concussion grenades (RGD-33 and M24) used by the USA, USSR, Japan and Germany respectively. Only the Mk 2 is used in multiplayer. So many grenades! On Veteran difficulty in solo mode, enemy soldiers will constantly and relentlessly spam you with grenades, which Treyarch thought was a good way to increase the difficulty on higher settings. They can drop a grenade right at your feet from almost anywhere. As in Call of Duty 4, you can pick up a grenade thrown at you and throw it back if you have enough time before the grenade explodes, but every time you do, another one, perhaps several will land in front of you or on all sides. If you run from a grenade thrown at you, you'll likely step on another that was thrown somewhere else. In multiplayer, the Mk 2 is less powerful than the M67 from Call of Duty 4 and a perk called "Flak Jacket" reduces damage taken from explosives, which offers some protection from grenades. There is also a perk called "Toss Back" which enables you to somehow magically add more length to the fuse of a grenade thrown at you to an extra three seconds when you pick it up.
  • VEHICLES: Lets not forget th EP1C PH41L that Treyarch had with Call of Duty: 3 - Vehicles in the multiplayer. As if they hadn't already learned their lesson, they added vehicles AGAIN, making even the shittiest noob in the game God. If the player in the tank so much as even coughs in your direction, you become just another +10 for him. Tanks are overpowered machines made by Satan himself meant for the sole purpose of fucking with experienced players (a.k.a Non-Campers) until they rage quit. If you see a tank coming your way, don't engage, don't try to run. Instead, stand perfectly still and hope that the driver is a pre-pubescent 5 year old (who's parents are too drunk or stoned to care that they are playing an M game) who will mistake you for a pretty statue that seemingly has random seizures as it checks itself for whatever. Spam like hell and wait for the messages to start piling in your inbox. For extra lulz, find one specific players favorite camping spot and repeatedly kill him and only him. Tanks Will take Over 9000 bazooka rockets before dieing. Don't even try to use the satchel charges on the tank as they will either run you over or ass fuck you with their canon.
  • Bouncing Betty (a.k.a Those motherfuckers and their god damn BB'S!) - Mines sent down to earth by God himself, meant for one thing and one thing only: to rid the world of all players on WaW. Bouncing Betty's are by far the worst idea to grace the game as any form of player set trap. These canisters that are roughly the size of your goddamn head and magically able to fit into any surface, be it dirt, rocks, mud, cement, or the fucking corpse of a fallen enemy, are insta-death to anyone who trips the non-visible wire in the 5 (million) foot trip sensor. When activated, these merciless perishable cans shoot up 10 feet into the goddamn air and asplode, killing you instantly with absolutely no chance to get away at all. Unavoidable, as they can be set ANYWHERE and are literally INVISIBLE.

Your team

  • You.
  • AFK.
  • Quickscoper with *insert bolt action rifle with scope on it here* who is 5 years old trying to get those epic sniper clips. (And failing)
  • Troll who's trying to fuck over the team by team killing or getting bombs/flags/etc and not going to the objective.
  • Noob with Martyrdom and Fireworks
  • Most likely nobody's taking up the 6th spot, as the matchmaking system is as retarded as it was in CoD4.

Enemy team

  • MP40 Juggernaut Camper
  • MP40 Juggernaut Camper
  • MP40 Juggernaut Camper
  • MP40 Juggernaut Camper
  • MP40 Juggernaut Camper
  • MP40 Juggernaut Camper

In the end, the enemy team will win with over 9000 kills. Seriously, an hero now before it's too late.

Nazi Zombies

Based on actual events from WWII.
Thanks for your money, suckers!

This is the true source of Activision's profit, the big kahuna of Call of Duty 5. The game mode involves being trapped in a room with your friends, killing off Nazi Zombies that horde from outside. So, what the fuck is the big deal? Kids actually buy into this shit. Some random, last-minute, sloppily coded minigame somehow became the game's largest selling point. Nazi Zombies in one sentence: You stand in the same inclosed room spamming the same guns at the same enemy who runs at you with the same animation over and over, and eventually you get to just stand there with your 4 ray guns and press R indefinately, until you commit suicide from boredom. Another main reason it sucks is because their health just keeps going up until they require at least 100 ray gun shots to kill, something I'm sure everyone wants in a zombie-type enemy.

Because Treyarch cares about the players, every month they release a new shitty map pack priced at $9.99 for all the little kiddies to charge onto their parents' credit cards. Morons actually pay for this shit knowing that they're only using it to play one level, and will instantly buy more map packs as they get released without thinking. This money is fowarded to Treyarch's graphics department for the next title, because they will just re-use the same game, but use different textures.


The maps

If you dare to be different and decide to only play the regular multiplayer and not buy the shit map packs, get ready for your game to be downgraded into a demo, despite having already paid full price for it. The new maps are FORCED into the rotation, no matter if you bought them or not. What happens if you don't have the map? You get kicked from the game and a huge screen asking you to buy the map is forced on you, reminding you that you can end your 3rd world treatment at anytime if you just fill their jew pockets with more gold. Now with 9 of these abominations released, you have a 65% chance of getting kicked from every game you try to join/want to stay in. You get to wait in line to play a game YOU ALREADY FUCKING PAID FOR. But of course they do it all for the fans. Whether Treyarch did this to sell more, or simply because they don't know how to edit their playlists to accomodate a split community, is unknown.

Trolling on Zombies

  • Teabag a downed player until he/she dies. Bonus lulz if said player has a Ray gun or the 2 LMGS.
  • Kill the crawler at the worst possible moment.
  • Refuse to open any doors, or open all doors before the team is ready.
  • Steal other player's kills. (Generally only works during early on in the game)
  • Stand in front of players in small enclosures to prevent them from shooting.
  • If your the last one alive, run straight into the zombie horde with a grenade cooked. Don't forget to record.
  • After you pwn all the zombies if your a pro at the game, leave a crawler and kill yourself.
  • In Verrukt, when everyone is AFK doing very important things, kill the crawler and then run and activate all the electric barriers and open all doors possible. For best results, leave afterwards and insist you disconnected.
  • In Verrukt, whore points from your team and spam the mystery box until it disappears.
  • In Shi No Numa, shoot a player with a Wunderwaffe DG-2 thrice. You'll see.
  • In Shi No Numa, after a Flaming Furries round, grab the Max-Ammo before your teammates finish reloading.
  • In Der Riese, throw a Monkey Bomb at a downed player, or throw a Monkey Bomb next to a player using the Mystery Box.
  • In Der Riese, if your camping on the catwalk, lie prone horizontally across the cat walk to successfully trap your teammates.

Trolling on Multiplayer

  • Change your clan tag to RAIN. Treyarch removed the only fun feature of multiplayer to make way for more Nazi Zombie map packs.
  • Join clan battles with the tag RANK.
  • Host a server and teamkill in Hardcore mode. Extra lulz for sniping other snipers on your team from across the map, mistaking them for enemies.
  • Have your entire team use the MP40, Juggernaut and Last Stand.
  • Use the same tank during an entire match and brag about how you killed them with your M1 Garand + Shades class.
  • Identify which players are 12 years old or younger, and tell them that a new map pack has just been released. This will most likely cause half of the room to disconnect. Won't work, nobody except hackers and modders play the game and doing this will result in you being called out for the bullshitter you are and hacked.
  • Equip the Camouflage perk and follow enemies with a cooked grenade in your hand.Treyarch even made that as a multiplayer achievement,so do it MOAR.
  • Go into any forum on the game and claim that anyone who plays Nazi zombies only does so because they are too much of a pussy to handle Left 4 Dead.

Difficulty Levels

Recruit - Too Easy

Regular - Easy

Hardened - Bitch ass hard, because the game WILL GRENADE SPAM YOU if you stand in one place for more than 2 seconds. The programmers thought it would be a great idea to force the player to constantly move along. Except the enemy will fix you in place with a large volume of fire, forcing you to take cover and wait for a shot. The super grenades force you to move, so it is stand still and get blown up, or move and get shot.

Veteran - More like SUPER FUCK YOU mode. Like hardened but the game's uber-grenade spam is jacked up to insane levels. But you will play it because you SO WANT the achievements.


Related Articles

External Links


Portal games.png

Call of Duty: World at War is part of a series on

Gaming

Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.