Carmencurbstomp

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This article is perfect. Don't fuck with it!

HEY ED PROFESSIONAL WIKI EDITORS (FAGS) PEOPLE ARE CRYING ON /B/ ABOUT THERE NOT BEING A SUNKIST CARMEN ARTICLE I'M TOO LAZY TO ACTUALLY MAKE ONE, BUT I'VE BEEN THERE FOR ALL THIS SHIT SO HERE'S SOME WORDS FOR YOU TO USE


Sunkist Carmen, AKA a whole bunch of other shit, is a supposedly 11-year-old major fucking troll who, on september 5 and 6 of 2010, trolled /b/ into fucking oblivion no joke, bitch pulled off some moves

so around...4-5 PM PST, somebody posts a link on /b/ about "carmen is back" and I'm like "well okay then, I'll go check it out, whatever"

all I see is a chick who seems to be in her teens doing fairly standard stickam shit, including flashing

then all of a sudden the makeup brush she's been putting in her mouth for half an hour is in her ass (5:34 PM, I've got timestamps on my caps)

and then it's back in her mouth again. Shit is going weird, is what I'm saying. And then we go into FULL RETARD mode, at 6-6:30 PST.

Like, what the shit is going on. This girl (who claims to be 11, but that's bullshit; she's got dat ass) spends at least an hour and a half cursing up a blue streak about "4chan" and "fuckers" and using basically five words repeated over and over in different variations.

MANY LOLZ WERE HAD. Newfags/scrubs are busy being morons in the stickam chat, medium level trolls are pulling off manycam shenanigans in the other stickam windows, and pro trolls are watching the shit fly and enjoying the tits

This continues until she has at least 3000 viewers. How the fuck she managed to stay on stickam this long is anyone's guess. I say at least 3000 because there's no way to be sure; that fucking user count in the stickam window was jumping by hundreds every which way in every few seconds. I think I saw it as high as 5000. There were a lot of fucking people in that room, is what I'm saying.

AT THIS POINT, THE CRAZY METER GOES OFF THE SCALE. She turns the lights back on (they've been off basically as long as she's been screaming incoherently at 4chan) and starts doing completely fucking random shit. She picks up her chair, several times, and falls/trips/fails onto her bed with it, and (pretends?) to injure herself. And meanwhile, she is getting completely naked, fully clothed, completely naked, in random cycles, all while continuing to talk about 4chan in between (fake?) sobs. She does this at least five times. What the fuck.

Then she (finally) gets banned, because the mods woke up or whatever.

Many bawws were heard on /b/, until some pro motherfuckers notice that she's got like seven youtubes, a twitter account, a facebook, etc, etc.

So then it gets really fucking weird. Taking a memo from Lilalily, apparently, this dumb bitch makes another "angry" video with her throwing a chair, getting naked, etc, and uploads it to goddamn youtube. Less than a thousand views later, moralfags get it taken down.

This is repeated like, two more times that night. More tits and ass were had by pros. Then things seem to settle. Nothing much happens. It's been perhaps six hours since the whole affair started (caps say she got off around 8:30, and youtube vids lasted a while after that), and /b/ takes a breath.

RETURN THE NEXT MORNING! What the fuck, she's at it again. She's got a (new? old?) youtube account set up to open a "truth or dare" submission contest at 11:00 AM. Typical /b/ suggestions ensue.

So then she starts posting videos, which get less than 500 viewers (roughly) before, again, being taken down by moralfags/youtube mods who browse 4chan.

Then she makes another account, this one does the shampoo in eyes bit (what the fuck?!), gets taken down, etc. Then she makes another one, with "dare #2". This one, apparently, was to dance in a sexy manner, but the video takes over 9000 hours to process, and she makes another few videos complaining about how long it's taking before it's done. And then it is done, and it's removed within a matter of seconds. Pro anons grab it, natch.

And then that's basically fucking it. For now. Not much drama, not much invasion bullshit, not really all that much is happening. Some fags were crying last night that she's "mentally ill" and shit, but it's pretty well established that she's just a pro attention whore.

Continual claims she's jailbait are unconfirmed; all dox provided are easily faked

See Also

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