Cat fight

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IRL cat fight

Amongst the more amusing of the flame war varieties is the Cat Fight. The cat fight usually consists of:

  1. Two or more girls;
  2. A really stupid topic;
  3. Three months worth of completely irrelevant history;
  4. And always, a shitload of 'fat' comments.

Cat tactics

Cat fights are great to watch and follow a set pattern.

  1. A recent cat fight has just died down;
  2. A poster from said cat fight (referred to here as 'Prima') makes a throw away comment to a random individual, rarely involving the actual topic;
  3. A poster from the same, now defunct, cat fight (referred to here as 'Secunda') will make a vicious reply in defense of the random individual, carefully making reference to Prima's weight, attractiveness, sexual (mis)conduct and/or intellect.
  4. Prima will defend herself by referring to something even more irrelevant (usually sourced to a previous cat fight), and all Hell breaks loose.
  5. Friends of either side will feel the need to enter the cat fight, and the cat fight's size will grow to epic proportions.


Or, in a fantasy, when:

  1. Two girls get in a fight over who has bigger boobs
  2. Start pulling off each others clothes
  3. Fall into a puddle of baby oil
  4. Start having sex
  5. Let you join in (Hey, it's fantasy, remember?)

Case Study

Some cat wars get creative, as was the case recently on Debate. Two 'cats' — to use an awful term — Skratchgirl and Ratherberucking (nee Poloemily) discovered a picture editing program and decided to critique the other's appearance.

Ratherberucking presented this case against Skratchgirl: Against which Skratchgirl cuntingly argued using this:
Skratchcritiqued.jpg Emilycritiqued.jpg

The result was ruthless, vicious, merciless camwhoring. It was a catfight about which I'll be sure to tell my grandchildren.

Important Usage Note

Please be aware that the women and "men" of the feminist persuasion frown upon the use of the term "cat fight" being used to describe two women fighting, 1.

This is a very good reason to use the term "cat fight" to describe two women fighting, especially when addressing feminists.

Incident Progression

Skratchgirl securing her victory

Quite often during the progression of one of these fights, one of the parties involved will, in an attempt to secure their victory, post nude lingerie pictures of themselves. One such incident, on the part of skratchgirl, is shown to the right.

This action invariably results in them inadvertently showing that they care about the result of the fight and much like Godwin's Law, they lose immediately by default. Not to mention, in order to be considered a great cat fight, at some point, nipples must be seen.

It is common courtesy to remind those who commit the above act that The Internet Is Serious Business, in an effort to stay future occurrences and keep the Internet drama to a minimum.

Things to look for

Quite often one or more parties in any given dispute will resort to calling in their friends to try and make them look better. This type of thing is usually fairly obvious and known by its trademark signs such as a wave of people entering the fray and unanimously singing the praise of one side. These people often have no connection to the group in which the argument is taking place, and have known connections with a particular side.