Cave Story

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This was made by one guy, but seeing its crappy graphics, I'm not impressed.

Cave Story is a freeware game made by the Azns, Daisuke "pixel" Amaya to appeal to all the retro junkies who are turned on by shitty graphics. It completely ripped off games like Super Metroid and Mario, as the game uses many traits from them as well as some musical tones. Released in 2004 for the PC, it became a cult classic among indie gamers who could never get the same amount of exposure as this game. This game was completely made by one person. However, judging by its graphics and mechanics, it was probably made in under a month. The game was later ported to WiiWare so fanboys could buy the game instead of playing it for free.

When Pixel isn't busy fending off weaboo fans, he's fapping to the plethora of Cave Story rule 34. There has been a considerably large amount of fanfiction written about Cave Story, which is somewhat amusing.

The game

This game is totally not ripping off anything.


You start out as an amnesiac robot who doesn't remember shit and apparently had too much to drink the night before. If you do some exploring, you steal some nigger's gun and somehow wander off into a village. The village is populated by Mimigas, which are human-like rabbits that can talk. The Mimigas are butthurt because some faggot called The Doctor keeps kidnapping them, taking them to his lair, and raping them beyond recognition. The Mimigas, after eating red flowers, turn batshit insane and kill everything. As it turns out, there is a Mimiga named Sue who the self important Mimiga King doesn't like, because she's diff'rent. Later in the game, it's discovered that some bitch turned her into a Mimiga for no reason.

Eventually, shit happens, King dies, and one of the Mimigas is kidnapped by Balrog. Balrog is a special lunchbox toaster briefcase or something who works for The Doctor alongside with some cumdumpster named Misery. You discover that The Doctor is capturing the Mimigas because he wants to use them as his personal army to destroy the world. Just for the sake of destroying the world. Eventually, you meet some female robot named Curly Brace who is a completely useless character.

The doctor almost feeds the Mimigas red flowers, until you blow shit up and the floating island starts to fall. The "good ending" is where you save everyone and they live happily ever after (except the final boss), and you, Curly, and lunchbox fly off to the nearest sex hotel. teh edn.

Wiiware port

After it was ported to WiiWare, the reactions were mixed. It started fanboy wars of epic proportions, arguing over stupid details. After the company that ported it, Nicalis, changed the translation, fanboys all over got their panties in a bunch. Large arguments were started over Balrog (moar liek BalFAG amirite) having his catchphrase replaced with "OH YEAHHHHH" instead of "HUZZAH", and Quote's hat being yellow instead of red Quote's pallet changes according to what mode you play , with "original" being the same as on PC. Didn't stop the newfags who couldn't manage anything other then easy from bitching, though.

Aside from the reception, the port itself sucked as well. It's the same game, but much buggier and it had shittier music (if that's even possible), and overall seemed like a half-assed unfinished piece of shit. But, of course, the dedicated fanboys still wasted their money on it. It had a few extra (useless) modes like sanctuary speedrun, where you have to pick up your weapons and health every time you die (and listen to the "item get" music), a minor graphical edit that is Curly's mode, and the boss battle mode. Later on, a patch was made that fixed the glitchy music and a few other stuff.

DShit ports and more

The DSi got a port of the Wiiware version.

Because Nintendo binges on cash all the time, the 3DS got a remake with NEW GRAPHICS and music. It costs $40, in case you're an idiot who buys expensive shit.

There's also some new PC version that costs absolutely $10 or so just for an extra level, because that's totally worth it, right? The DSi got a port of the Wiiware version.

Sega Genesis Port

There's also a Genesis port that pushes the system to the limit, it's still in it's beta. But it's more of the same. Except with sikk and radikkal remixzez of the music from the original


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See also

External links

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