Centrist

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That guy that called you an extremist for taking a side

Centrists are to liberals and conservatives what agnostics are to atheists and christians, or what bisexuals are to faggots and straight people. They're too lazy to form an actual opinion. Centrist think leaning slightly left or right of center makes you a hippie or survivalist respectively. However, no true centrist exists, as they will side with the democrats or republicans on at least one particular issue. People usually discover that they're "centrist" when entering high school.

In Politics

Becoming a Centrist Candidate happens when a politician wants to be elected in a place where one party does not entirely dominate the other, and to win a candidate must get support from both sides. A particularly lulzy example is the American presidential race. In the primaries, the Democratic candidate will smoke a joint, let a gang of black persons fuck his wife, have sex with a tree, read bedtime stories to a glacier, and generally let all the hippie fucks, white-guilting yuppies, and ugly moon women stand around and cum in his mouth. The Republican presidential primary consists of each candidate being placed on the back of a Humvee with a .50 Cal at the Mexican border. The dude with the highest kill count (To be determined by sanctioned RNC observers) will be awarded the candidacy. After winning the primary, while showering off blood and/or semen, the candidate shall realize that the country still contains a fair number of Those Other People. Then, two previously mighty lulzwarriors will transform into bloodless, dickless centrists who live in fear of offending even the pettiest special interest groups.

On the issues

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  • Abortion is a woman's right, but as long as they don't kill the baby
  • Guns are good but they cause crime
  • believing that right and wrong are relative
  • bisexuality is good
  • have bipolar disorder
  • obsess over video games, yet refuse to take a side in the "console war", instead playing PC games
  • raping little boys AND girls
  • Supporting "Dr. Paul" because "zOMG!!1 he's third party!!"

Famous Centrists

  • Thanos: Only Genocide Half the Universe
  • Hitler: Only gas the Jews, Faggots and Retards. Allows Niggers, Shitskins and Japanese to live.

Sites

Centrist
is part of a series on Politics.
Ideologies: [You are wrong!We are right!]

Alt-rightAnarchyCapitalismCentrismCommunismConservatismDemocratHippieLiberalismLibertarianismMiltopismNaziNihilismNeo-conPacifismReconquistaRepublicanSocialismTory

Issues: [Fuck it, Too lazy.Get it fixed!]

AbortionArab SpringBahrainBarron TrumpBirthCISPADeath penaltyDrugsEnvironmentalismGaysGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleGirlfriendsGround Zero MosqueMass ShootingGun controlGunsHealthcare (2) (3)• HomelessHousing CrisisHuntingIceslaveIranMarriageMiltopiaNAUPimpin'RacismShoesTaxesTerrorismUnemploymentWarWelfare

Politicians: [Rigging Elections is funVote for me]

AhmadinejadAkinB.AllenG. AllenAngleAshburnBachmannBhuttoBin LadenBlagojevichBlairBoehnerG.BrownS.BrownBunningDubya BushGeorge H. W. BushBurrByrdCainCameronChavezCheCheneyChomskyChretienChurchillClintonClinton IICleggCohenColemanCorbynCowgerCraigCthulhuCunninghamCurtisD'AlemaDeanDelayDuterteDwyerEdwardsFaganFiorinaFoleyGerald FordRob FordGellerGillardGingrichGiulianiGonzalesGoreGrahamGravelGreeneGriffinHagueHansonHardingHarperHitlerHowardHuckabeeHusseinJacksonJamesJidetteJohnsonJohnson, BorisKennedyLaRoucheLBJLottKerryKindKissingerKucinichLewinskyLiebermanLimbaughLoughnerMajorMarceaux.comMarxMcBerryMcCainMcHenryMcKinneyMercerMichael BloombergMooreMorocco MoleMussoliniNaderNixonObamaO'DonnellO'RourkeOsbornePainePaladinoPalinPaulPelosiPencePerryPinochetPrittPutinQuahQuayleRasanskyReaganRendellRiceRobertsonRomneyRoveRuddRumsfeldRyanSaakashviliSandersSantorumSchumerSchwarzeneggerSharptonCyril SmithJacqui SmithSpitzerStevensStranahanSupremeTaitzThatcherThompsonThorleyTPMMuckraker MoleTrudeauTrumpVenturaVitterWarsiWashingtonWaxmanWeinerWestWilliamsWilsonWolfowitzXXenophon

Parties: [No beer? Fuck that.Hell yeah, a party!]

America's Third PartyBlack BlocDramacratic PartyHard PartyLemon PartyLiberal Party of AustraliaNorth American DONG PartyOBAMACORNSocialist Workers PartyPirate PartyZapatistas

Tactics: [Rage Quit.How do I get elect?]

2013 US Government ShutdownBlaming ChinaCaptain Nigga DefendaCloward Piven StrategyCuckservativesDemockeryG20 Toronto LollercaustLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLiberal guiltMacaca#NotMySuperbowlChampsOccupy DemocratsOperation LemonpartyRaped StatisticsThe ResistanceUpworthyWunderground

See also: 2012 Elections2016 Presidential ElectionsInternet PoliticsPizzaGatePolitical communities

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