From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search

I Can't Believe It's Not Brutal 12/01/07 NEVAR FORGET!


On December 2, 2007, 4:16PM, CherryDemented said:

"As for the group that was attacked: there was nothing special lost there."

Disclaimer: Though satire typically reigns on ED, this is one such lollercaust where the truth is far lulzier than any possible fiction. Keep reading for shit no one cares about.

Community Raped: Real Brutality

Meme Time

This group was originally targeted for failfaggotry and heavy handed modding that wasn't very brutal. Although the members all wanked to pain series and gore pics like dirty little fanboys, they had a habit of deleting posts that were "off color comments" that were inappropriate for a community committed to real brutality... essentially boiling down to the fact that the group was a big fucking popularity contest to see who could suck the most mod dick... the internets wept. Trolling began with posts like "brutal duck" (see thumb below) that made the community and mods go batshit insane.

Early On

Real Brutality!!!!111one

Some TA agents were in early, taunting and entrenching up to a month before the raid officially started. It was a tough sell as these kids get off to pictures like pain series and other wholesome internet images, but TA was there and made lulz where once was anti-lulz.

Initially when the raid was officially sanctioned two TA members took one for the team and produced a light crapflood earning subsequent bans. This was initially thought to be a mistake by many but was a rather cleverly engineered maneuver in disguise as many TA members where then allowed to entrench by playing on the fears of the group owner, Lucifer's Whore.

Fire the Staff!!!


Lulz ensued as she fired her whole staff for letting acrapflood occur also for letting the aftermath get "completely out of hand". She then restaffed (unknowingly) completely with agents of TA. We also learned at this time from user TehPenguinofDoom that you don't make fakes without a proxy on this host site because they will banhammer you, but also that sysops there wasn't smart enough to ban proxies that appear on page one of google search, lol. Miraculously, none of the trolls managed to spoil the lulz during the undercover portion of the operation.

CHAINDIX makes a big mistick

Chaindix makes a big mistick
Leave my family alone!!!1

Further lulz developed as a female troll went undercover as a christian girl seeking love from a real brutality member: Immortal_of_horror (aka chaindix, Ira). She was then impersonated by a male troll (because she couldn't bring herself to talk sexy to the fatty for extended periods) on AIM or some shit where Immortal of horror was then convinced to take brutal pictures of his cock wrapped in a chain, earning him the nickname chaindix. This of course resulted in over 9000 shopped pictures that were posted all over the internet, including 4 chan with his personal info attached. There was also a fake profile generated under the name Chaindix to help spread the legend around the host site to make sure he could never show his face to anyone without being that guy. After his information was since been collected and posted on 4chan and penthouse magazine (with requests for penis enlargement charity, which was responded to with sympathy, lulz) and various other sites of fail and ruination about the interwebz his parents were sent some lovely gift cards for christmas. Unfortunately some lulz killer told Ira about the card, so it never got to his parents address, though he did have a full chat with his parents that probably went something like this:

"Hey Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you... You know how I'm a fatty and ashamed of my penis right??? Well... some evil people on the internet convinced me they were hot women and I sent them pics of my dick wrapped in a chain... but REALLY! It's not what you think!!! it's a fettish, not porno, a fetish! I did it for the pain of pleasure... THE PAIN OF PLEASURE!!! They just don't understand me like you guys do... So... If you get any pictures in the mail of my tiny penis... it's not from me, it's from those evil people on the internet who are out to get me."

Christmass is BRUTAL!!!

...and lulz were still had knowing that everyday Ira was checking his parents mailbox for unmarked letters as soon as the mailman arrived.

Chaindix: "I did it for the pain of pleasure!"

Of course the gag was never that some fat kid put his penis on the internet(as if anyone would care), but the total shame and butt-hurt lulz that ensued. Also, it is confirmed from that it is indeed the same chain on his face that is on his dick, lol.

The Raid

Ah fuck, I can't believe you've SPAMMED THIS for 40 pages!
Although not in this thumb, chaindix frequently asks for sympathy telling others how he stays up all night bawing (NO LIE!).

Even after this lulz ensued and Real Brutality staff was completely oblitterated minus the owner and one other(sleepndie), the trolls were still unsatisfied as the major reason for the raid was to PWN real brutality member/mod sleepndie, the original heavy handed mod that irked the piss out of TA with her non-brutal modding faggotry... more on this in a moment...

So the community owner (lucifer's whore) after viewing the online rape of immortal_of_horror, began to lock threads and delete posts containing chaindix because the whole thing "went too far" as chaindix likely moaned with butt-hurt to her before he quit and set his profile to friends only mode.

TA reps had warned this group leader several times about censorship, and now she had crossed the line.

A nuclear strike was called for in a TA broadcast and all Real Brutality posts, stickied, locked and otherwise were buried beneath an endless wall of "ah fuck, I can't believe you've done this" (and variants) with pix of chaindix flying everywhere. The war was fought by a brave group of trolls that struck on midnight (eastern) 12/1/07 (nevar forget!) with all the staff but one mod and the group owner being undercover TA reps to keep the raid going. The resulting Zerg rush left the entire community irradiated and unusable for at least 100 years.

Several TA agents were banned from real brutality even with all but one of the mods and the onwer displaced but after an hour or so bans were no longer handed out... why?

perhaps too much butt-hurt for the brutal owner? in a way...

The group was then spammed into oblivion and the CSS was removed. Some members of real brutality community came to TA to spy and whine, but it didn't matter, they were warmly welcomed. Through real brutal member "Vampidraco"'s total fail, a conspiracy from real brutality tinfoil hat brigade was discovered in that they refused to openly comment to TA members to ruin the possibility of lulz. This was discovered because draco the fucktarded sent out a friends only message and forgot he added the TA founder on his friends list. Nigger.

In an interesting P.S. the sysops made an anti-spamming device that won't let you post the same topic heading twice in a row... lol... I'm sure that will stop the trolls.

Self PWNage

Teh Brutal Duck!!!
Official Seal of the Internet Paladin and Lolcow

After receiving Real Brutal member vampidraco's fuckwitted broadcast the TA founder went to go harrass Lucifer's Whore (real brutality owner) to see what lulz he could provoke and remember how the trolls weren't satisfied that Sleepndie was never proplery pwnt?

Well, we believe shattered prince (host site sysops) said it best:

Lucifer's Whore profile:

Sorry, this profile has been suspended.

Suspended by: xxxShattered_Princexxx

Reason: Created a fake, multiple or misleading profile.

Comments: Fake account which appears to belong to SleepNdie. Immediatly after suspending another account her account and this one were logged into. Numerous other site tracking features have also lead to this conclusion.

It is believed she was outed as a sock after bitching to the host site mods that some mean trolls were ruining her group and that's why TA ceased to see the banhammer; because her owner account was disabled. Way to pwn yourself.

As it turns out, this was an epic win for TA as something right was done (outed a fake profile) totally by accident and for the worst possible reasons (to be a bunch of giant dickheads to people that already suck at life so much they have to populate their group with sock puppets and fatties with chains on their dicks). Further lulz were realized when it was discovered that Sleepndie could not undo all the damage because she had demoted her own mod status with her sock after being perpetually pwnt as per group politics (modding was supposedly earned through flame wars that pleased the owner, meaning that she herself realized that she sucked that bad) and her desire to keep up the illusion of the sock.

Epic Win & Aftermath

srsly guise
the elusive chaindix dwells within the confines of his brutal bedroom.

Of course, TA couldn't be allowed to have the day entirely. Butt-hurt members of Real Brutality cried so hard to the host site founder that Shattered Prince shut down Troll Alley and banned half of the host website population permanently... for four

TA members then trolled sysops until they assumed the position. What sysops didn't know is that half the host site mods were TA members and were part of the raid (lol).

Today all 12/1 bans have been overturned (though many of them have been reinstated due to other trolling) and many more epic lulz have since been generated through TA (future articles to come)...

Chaindix Rap (not especially lulzy but produces much drama):

He's a brutal fettish model Biggest titties in the land, got a chain on his dick and his balls in his hand

He's morbidly obese and he wants to die, "I'm sorry you guise, guess I just can't do anything right" *sniffle*

Chorus: Brutal! -Wut? Brutal! -Yeah Brutal! -Wut? Brutal! CHAINDIX!!!

Chaindix continued to whine and cry like an emo pussy for some time but unfortunately it never reached the full on potential of the hardcore emotional internet death threats/lolsuits we've all come to know and love. Instead chaindix was left a whimpering shell of a fatty, but still clung to his internets because he had no IRL friends (by his own admission...ouch, that's some sick burn...). He made but one single attempt to "flame" TA members in a hit and run TL;DR rant full of the awfull grammar and shitty spelling you'd come to expect from a seasoned writer of online gore fanfic. The rant (viewed here [1])was accompanied by his overpowering jpeg that commands: "stop the trolls" which let the internet know that chaindix was serious business.

The sad pathetic lump entirely ceased to be amusing at some point last thursday and in an effort to dust off the carcass of this lolcow a dare was made to transform him into a hardened troll that does it for the lulz. Chaindix currently spends most of his time having the pussy core beaten out of him and progress is exceptionally slow and hardly traceable (yet progress is made nonetheless) and masterbating to his own gore-fanfic stories that suck the cock. Reportedly he wrote a story about this incident that was inspired by a nightmare, and other shit no one cares about. If nothing else, the project of converting said chaindix to the philosophy of the lulz is far more effort than it's worth, consuming twice the standard energy for production of a single standardized lulz units(SLU) making even minor lol emissions a rare occurrence from an otherwise efficient internet hate machine.

Just in case you feel bad for this poor bastard... Chaindix DS account: [2] please note: enjoys dimmu borgir, gore flicks and cuddling, but hates lulz. We're still pretty sure he doesn't know what a "lulz" is but hates it anyhow because all those "hacker trolls" keep saying it. It's also possible someone lied to him about the lulz for the lulz... lulz.

Real Brutality... Due to the fact that the owner's account was suspended, was not able to be torn down like so many others before it, but instead lives on in grotesque undeath today (because two of the old members refuse to let it rest in peace). As a cesspool made of the worst fail-cancer on the internet it makes /b/ look educated and cultured and Epic Fail Guy is known to be the resident internet deity.

Portal trolls.png

Chaindix is part of a series on


Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.