Chair

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One of the most interesting and exciting objects in the world, a chair is being crushed by your fat ass right now. This marvel of modern engineering is a shining example of how retarded the internet is. A normal person may wonder who the fuck would write a blog about a chair, but as we all know on these fine tubes, normal people don't exist. Unsurprisingly there's a website called chairblog.eu and over 56 million pages come up when you Google chair blog. Oh, and look, here's a blog about buying a chair off Craigslist.

While scientists have worked for centuries optimizing the chair's functionality in supporting your fat ass as you eat nachos and play WoW, they have many other uses. Chairs are one of the world's most easily accessible weapons. Commonly used in jails by The Man to execute innocent people, they are also used to break windows and even as makeshift splintery dildos.

Types Of Chairs

The Sex Chair

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Look what else there is! Sex furniture. God knows what the fuck a sex chair is but it's sure to be covered in semen and misery.


   
 
I frequently evaluate sex chairs, other sex furniture and adult toys which promise better stimulation of the g-spot, deeper penetration and better sex. Great sex is all about angles, and nothing rivals the LuvSeat for helping couples achieve the most and best angles for lovemaking
 

 
 

luvseat.com(lol broken)

Fetishes

Do you have a sexy, sexy chair fetish? Why yes! There are others like you! You can find sites like this if you're a nerd and this if you're a sick fuck. The internet, it truly has something for everyone.


   
 
Can't find a place to tie your partner up? No worries, we've designed the perfect inflatable chair that not only has restraints but it breaks down for easy storage in your drawer, closet or under the bed. Inflate it and have your lover at your mercy with restraints for the wrists, arms and ankles.
 

 
 

risqueboutique.com(lol broken)

Sexual Position

   
 
An uncommon sexual position, where the willing or usually unwilling participant is strapped into a lawn chair (the conventional method is duct tape but varied uses have included rope, electrical cords and Christmas lights.) The person is then flipped upside down and a hole is cut out of the seat, exposing the person's anus and/or genitalia, creating a make-shift glory hole for instant gratification. Common practice is to "chair" outside but the more bashful often commence the activity in the garage or pool house.
 

 
 

—Urban Dictionary

Chair Sniffing

Australia's favorite pastime, chair sniffing was made popular by Liberal Party of Australia Western Australian Opposition Leader Troy Buswell. This of course caused lulz and fapping all around the cunt-tree.

A very delicate and intensely personal process, chair sniffing is best done directly after that hot young thing in your office vacates said chair, but not before she leaves. You then make orgasmic noises and touch yourself while she looks on in horror. Always remember to disable any security cameras. Use the tears as lube.


   
 
"Buswell opened the door really wide, grabbed a chair and started sniffing it, lifted it above his head sniffing it and breathing in, going 'aaww yeah'," the woman said.
 

 
 

—Female Staff Member, news.com.au

Gallery

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Videos

Chairs used for Violence
Jousting
Rowing
Lacrosse

See Also

External Links

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Chair
is part of a series on

Life

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Featured article August 20, 2010
Preceded by
Resume
Chair Succeeded by
The Rejection Line