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One of the most interesting and exciting objects in the world, a chair is being crushed by your fat ass right now. This marvel of modern engineering is a shining example of how retarded the internet is. A normal person may wonder who the fuck would write a blog about a chair, but as we all know on these fine tubes, normal people don't exist. Unsurprisingly there's a website called chairblog.eu and over 56 million pages come up when you Google chair blog. Oh, and look, here's a blog about buying a chair off Craigslist.
While scientists have worked for centuries optimizing the chair's functionality in supporting your fat ass as you eat nachos and play WoW, they have many other uses. Chairs are one of the world's most easily accessible weapons. Commonly used in jails by The Man to execute innocent people, they are also used to break windows and even as makeshift splintery dildos.
Types Of Chairs
- LOLCHAIRs, they laugh at you.
- Electric chairs, they kill you in jail.
- Chairs with slats, they trap your balls.
- Silverchairs, they are used by male anorexics to become emo.
- Your chair, used by your cat to vomit on.
- Wheelchairs, used by retards to run over your head, creating a new retard.
- Rocking chairs, used by your alcoholic grandfather to beat you.
- Rape chairs, used by your alcoholic grandfather to rape you.
- Why don't you take a seat over there?
- THEN WHO WAS CHAIR?
- I love lamp! And I love chair! WHOA HO! LIVIN' ON A PRAYER!
The Sex Chair
Look what else there is! Sex furniture. God knows what the fuck a sex chair is but it's sure to be covered in semen and misery.
Do you have a sexy, sexy chair fetish? Why yes! There are others like you! You can find sites like this if you're a nerd and this if you're a sick fuck. The internet, it truly has something for everyone.
Australia's favorite pastime, chair sniffing was made popular by Liberal Party of Australia Western Australian Opposition Leader Troy Buswell. This of course caused lulz and fapping all around the cunt-tree.
A very delicate and intensely personal process, chair sniffing is best done directly after that hot young thing in your office vacates said chair, but not before she leaves. You then make orgasmic noises and touch yourself while she looks on in horror. Always remember to disable any security cameras. Use the tears as lube.
—Female Staff Member, news.com.au
- Yes, Wikipedia has a huge article on chairs.
- Chair sniffing. A pretty good idea.
- Mind-Blowing Kama Sutra Positions with Chair
- How to Perform the Armchair Sexual Position
- Deck Chair Sex Position
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