Chanology Contest

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A knife, a fork, a bottle, a cork, WTC, Jews, a guy covered with Vaseline and pubic hairs, these are the things for which New York has always been best known. Until now. Near the end of 2009, a contingent of young Anonymous Rabbis schemed up yet another reason for people to give a shit about the Jew York Chanology Cell: The Chanology Contest, an amazing competition of prankster videos, with Scientology the butt of every joke. As the Protocols decreed, MONEYS was given to the LEAST FUNNIEST VIDEO! That's right, the contest ended in TOTAL FAIL.

The Contest:

As it turns out, Chanology is still going on. In an attempt to look like their actually doing something, a contest was held for best prank video submitted.

The Grand Prize, $1000, for "best" prank was won by MalcontentNazi for his epic feet of FAIL.

Second Place Prize was $300, won by somebody, probably.

Third Place Prize was $75, a nice slap in the face for the loser who couldn't even be bothered to try.

Last place was a bag of dickhair and got made fun of... how was that diffrent from just being in the contest?

Prizes for best video. Not Shown: Prize for gayest voice

The website for the contest is


1. All videotaped acts must have taken place no earlier than November 14, 2009.
2. All videotaped acts must be completely original.
3. The video must not be published or presented in any way by the author. The contest managers will publish ALL of the submissions (winning or not) on February 10, 2010, with the exception of submissions which violate rules and regulations.
4. The video must, at least in the credits, clearly include the following:
- A title for the video
- The date(s) of the filmed material
- The location; Specific to a city or town
- The words "All actions within this video were carried out of my own accord, with no influence from the managers or sponsors of any competition." Our lawfags has advised us that this is a necessary precaution. Sorry.

5. All videotaped acts must involve the Church of Scientology.
6. All videotaped acts must be actions other than typical protests.
7. All videotaped acts should be thoroughly planned and well executed.
8. All videotaped acts must be supervised by a responsible adult who touches kids.
9. All videos shall be BLASPHEMOUS (of Scientology) as h#ll
10. No videos should feature illegal activities

Like this.

The Judging

  • Submissions will be judged by a council of nine Hassidic Elders appointed by the sponsors.
  • Submissions will be judged on all of the following criteria:
  • Humor: The video should make us laugh. The harder we laugh, the better your chance. This category will carry most weight.
  • Effectiveness: The action and video should carry an anti-Scientology message.
  • Video Quality: The video should be well-produced, edited, and polished.
  • Response: The video should have good response after publishing. This category will carry some weight.

Video Quality

  • Should have a minimum resolution of 800 x 600. Exceptions will be considered for exceptional material.
  • Must be submitted [via form] on by February 1, 2010.
  • If you have any trouble submitting through the website, please contact us, and we will help make sure your entry is submitted.


  • Winners will be contacted by email if their submission(s) receive any prizes. In order to better suit winners' individual preferences, all payment arrangements will be made via private correspondence. It is crucial that you use a working email.
  • Our primary method of sending out cash prizes is Paypal. If that is not agreeable to the winner of a prize, he/she/they can work out another arrangement privately with us. The advertized prizes DO NOT include any 'payment transfer' fees, which will be subtracted from the total amount. Don't worry, it's only a couple of bucks.
  • There will be a total of three separate prizes awarded in this competition: A Grand Prize, A Second Place Prize, and a Third Place Prize.
  • The Grand Place Prize is a cash prize of $1000
  • Second Place Prize is a fixed cash prize of $300
  • Third Place Prize is a fixed cash prize of $75
  • All prizes are subject to increase without warning. Never decrease, only increase.
  • We will likely choose other submissions for "Honorable Mention", although they will not receive a prize.
  • Winners will be announced AND PAID by February 28th, 2010
  • Cash prizes won by a group will be paid out to one location. We are not going to divide the prize to be split amongst the entire winning group. Winners who entered as a group will have to work this out amongst themselves
  • All prizes are based completely on donations to the project from our sponsors. Want to raise the prize? Become one.


  • There is no limit to the amount of videos which could be submitted by a group or an individual. Multiple submissions might increase your chances of winning. However, it is important to consider quality over quantity. A large quantity of mediocre submissions will not get you a prize.
  • The judges may disqualify and refuse to publish any video at their discretion. This will happen if your video is significantly boring and not worth publishing.

Mandatory Jew Lawyer Disclaimer

These rules were made to help keep anything lulzy from happening.

  • Any submissions which depict acts in clear violation of the law will be disqualified. However, laws vary from state to state and we do not know them all. It is up to you to stay out of trouble and make sure nobody gets hurt.
  • We will cooperate with law enforcement if they come knocking on our door about something you did for our contest. In short, whatever you do, do so within the limits of law.
  • If you do not, the repercussions are on you, not us.

What the hell happened?


TL;DR Nothing.

As anyone with half a brain can tell you, things didn't go the way there were planned. Because nobody was still interested in Chanology, only the dregs entered videos. As a result, NOTHING LULZY HAPPENED! Literally. A big deal was made of the whole thing, even advertised on The Pirate Bay, and basically nothing happened.


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Featured article December 30, 2009
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