Chat, or IRC, is the lifeblood of teh internets, and it is a place for very important discussions. Before its advent, every single person across the globe could claim to enjoy a wholesome, fulfilling life, of going to work every day, spending time with family, having friends, or some variation thereof. Then the internet was created by Al Gore, and the beginning of the end was declared for mankind. People in droves began abandoning their daily activities so they could sit their fat asses down in front of a computer for 17 hours a day to repetitively type statements like "asl??? lol", "12/f/nj", and "y helo thar".
The IRL equivalent of chat (in terms of both substance and invasiveness of one's personal space) is that of two fat black women getting on a Chicago train and, waddasurprise, the two bitches know each other! Incisive discussion, polite repartee and other things of positive consequence to one's mental well-being will follow.
So, um, okay. Like, Chat was, um, totally Mudkipz what teh internet was invented for. No really. It like so totally was, like ZOMFG whoever wrote this is a 13-year-old boy. If it wasn't for chat, the internet wouldn't be half the shizzle that it is today.
Anyyyywayyyzzz. Chat started way back in the day. Like, all teh haxors were all haxoring away at some stuff and, like, they needed a way to know what hadn't been haxored, so some haxor kidnapped a geek and, OMGZ it was so crazy, and like, he made the geek write the first chat code. I swear to Christ I am not making this up.
S-s-s-so. Then, like the haxors became the guys who invented the internet. No, Al Gore did not invent teh internet. Don't believe anything you read on ED. They invented the internet, so like back then they OMG had to dial-up. OMG, this is like soooo before your time, okay. But the haxors were haxors so they never paid the phone company, cause they were haxors. They still don't pay the phone company. I wish I was haxors. Anywayz, they took the money they saved from teh phone company and ran BBSes with them. Which was like then internet only...not the internet. No, Al Gore did not invent the internet. After running the BBSes the finally got their degrees in Haxorology and they made tons of loot and some on them went on to invent AOL. So, yeah. And as you know AOL owns the internet. And they invent chat as we know it today.
In most chats, at least one of the parties is a 58 year old male pretending to be an 18 year old female.
Use for Sex
Chats and chatrooms are often utilized by Harry Potter looking fairies, bearded sexual predators, and obese retards as a medium for sexual intercourse. The method most often used involves a typed, detailed explanation of what the other person is wearing, doing, and/or the smell of their panties. In the heirarchy of fake sex, this is probably the least preferred method, as there is no way to conclusively prove that you're even talking to the right gender, much less whether or not they're fuckable, but it is probably the easiest because it doesn't require virgin nerds to interact with females or fat chicks to interact with males face to face.
Example of internet sex conversation:
- gurlygurl10790: i am wet
- beardeddragonmaster01: u should let me put my cock in ur mouth
- gurlygurl10790: i wish u would when r u gonna cum on meee
- beardeddragonmaster01: i am cuming rite now
- gurlygurl10790: thank u daddy
- beardeddragonmaster01: if i give u my address will u send me ur panties with skid marks
- gurlygurl10790: ur a faggot
- gurlygurl10790: fuck off u creep
- (gurlygurl10790 has signed off)
Children in chatrooms
Chatrooms are very wholesome places for children. Many kids find new lifelong friends while chatting:
Places in Which to Chat
- Chat Avenue
- Chat palace
- ED IRC
- Goth Chat City
- Habbo Hotel
|Chat is part of a series on Language & Communication|