Chevy the Therapy Dog

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Dr Chevy U. Shepherd, licensed Therapy Dog and Sex Counsellor to Crystal Brown.
Artist rendering of the event.

Chevy the Therapy Dog was a 4-year-old Australian Shepherd cross belonging to probable aspie Crystal Brown.

The Story

This is believed to have been the poster used to try and find Chevy.

After disappearing for a brief period, faithful Chevy showed up on Crystal's doorstep. Well, some of him, anyway.

"I told him everything and he never shared any of my secrets," said Crystal, 17, who has had some troubled times in her young life. Chevy was her "therapy dog", and she leaned on him for comfort and support.

Artist's likeness of the delicious package

Shirley Brown found the box first, wrapped in alluring red paper on her front steps, with batteries taped to the box. "Congratulations Crystal," the note said. "This side up. Batteries included."

Shirley Brown placed the box on her granddaughter's bedroom dresser. "I was surprised and excited," Crystal said. "I thought it was a gift from my cousin." She tore off the paper and ripped open the box. Inside the box was a selection of delicious Valentine's Day candy, and a black garbage bag.

And then she saw her dog's face.

St. Paul's Finest

Aspie Crystal Brown, PMS'ing about the loss of her canine fuckbuddy.

Homicide investigators are looking into the case because of the "implied" terrorist threat, St. Paul Police Sgt. Jim Gray said. Sgt Jim Gray obviously has caught all of the rapists, murderers of actual people and heroin traffickers in St. Paul, and now has all the time in the world to run after an (arguably epic) IRL troll.

Life Without Bestiality

From Chapter 8 of You and Your Therapy Dog: "Avoid traumatizing your Therapy Dog. Therapy Dog Therapy is an extensive and costly process."

"I felt empty," Crystal said of the gaping void in her vagina where trusty Chevy's knot once took pride of place. "I couldn't talk to anyone. He was my dog. It was just me and him."

"That dog didn't care what I did, what I didn't do...what anyone did to me. He didn't care about any of that. He just wanted to love me the way I loved him."

LiveJournal Drama Ensues

Posted to LiveJournal's WTF Inc LiveJournal community, the general consensus was that the person responsible for the beheading should face the death penalty. Lj-favicon.png mordant begged to differ. Butthurt ensued.

Moar LiveJournal Drama Ensues

Unsatisfied with the hysterical berating of Lj-favicon.png mordant on wtf_inc, some of his statements are cross-posted to to high-brow Superiority Club Stupid_Free. Mordant proceeded to exhibit unwarranted self-importance while displaying his e-penis for all to be repulsed by.

An Epic Love Story </3

According to an Old as fuck article the alleged killer has been caught, and has turned out to be none other then Crystal Brown's Mexican ex-boyfriend. Of course this was an obvious attempt to get back at her for cheating on him with the dog, the slut that she is.

"It felt like a car was sitting on our chests and now it's off," Shirley Brown told The Associated Press. "It's just unbelievable."

Yeah that's because the dogs no longer on top of your chest with its balls down your throat.

"Crystal now has a new puppy, named Diesel, and Shirley Brown said they are bonding after just a few short weeks."

DIESEL, NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

"That dog's only 10 weeks old, and she's already got him sitting up and shaking hands," Shirley Brown said. "That's just Crystal -- she's always loved animals."

Dossier

The word furfag and asspie are interchangeable.

from: http://info.doc.state.mn.us/publicviewer/Inmate.asp?OID=216427

Demographic Information

  • OID Number: 216427
  • Name: ANTHONY ALBERT GOMEZ
  • Birth Date: 11/12/1982
  • Current Status: Incarcerated
  • Location: Ramsey County
  • Admit Date: 11/29/2007
  • Anticipated Release Date: 5/19/2008
  • Anticipated Release Type: Supervised Release Date
  • Expiration Date: 12/17/2008
  • Case Worker: T. Peckskamp (320) 240-3000
  • Supervising Agent:
  • Controlling Offense Information:
  • Offense Description: TERR THREATS-INFLT BH-UNK WEAP-CHLD-ACQ
  • Offense Modifier: NOT/APPL
  • Minnesota Statute(s): 609 713 1
  • County of Conviction: RAMSEY
  • Court File Number: K3-07-1070
Mugshot 1 of dopey smurf Anthony Albert Gomez.
Mugshot 2 of Anthony Albert Gomez.

Information on court, prosecutor, and Judge

Court contact information for this case is as follows:

Court Location: Ramsey County Courthouse

15 West Kellogg Blvd.

St. Paul, MN 55102

Phone: 651-266-3222

Court Date: Sept. 24, 2007 9 a.m. Jury Trial

Case # K 3071070

Minnesota based Anthony Albert Gomez was charged for decapitating the therapy dog of a former girlfriend and then sending the animal's severed head to her in a gift-wrapped box. According to a criminal complaint charging Anthony Gomez with felony animal cruelty and torture.

External Links

Gomez was sentenced to live on the island for at least two more seasons.


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Featured article March 15, 2007
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