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A chihuahua being tended to by his whore.

Chihuahuas are a species of large rat (rodentia rattus canis destructiva) which, owing to its relatively large size and disproportionately short tail, is often mistaken for a dog. Chihuahuas (aka Ratdogs) are the single most useless type of pet ever created by selective and degenerative inbreeding of multiple small mammal species, which at various times may have included small dogs.

Created for the lulz by dog breeders in 1308, the goal was to create a dog-like creature small enough to throw around a pub during drinking binges. The popularity of the Chihuahua is due to the need of both faggots and the idiot rich to highlight their utter idiocy.

Breeders get their lulz from chihuahua buyers being stupid enough to outlay up to thousands of dollars for one of these destructive untrainable pests. It is only months after purchasing one of these annoying vermin that the buyer realizes it would be easier to train an alligator to hum a Bach concerto in 3 part harmony than it would be to train a Chihuahua to perform even the most basic of dog commands.

Things Chihuahuas Can Do

  1. Bark Squeak
  2. Shit
  3. Whine
  4. Generate uncontrollable rage within the heart of a gentle man.
  5. Be thrown great distances.
  6. Become easy-to-swallow delicacies for pythons and boa constrictors.
  7. Assist in detecting polyps in old folks.
  8. Chew legs off tables, coverings from floors. holes in walls
  9. Pull all your towels off the bathroom towel rails and pee all over them
  10. Inflict thousands of dollars of damage before they reach one year of age
  11. Annoy the shit out of you

Things Chihuahuas Cannot Do

  1. Stop barking
  2. Play World of Warcraft
  3. Be a cat.
  4. Learn any commands
  5. Stop whining
  6. Bite your arch enemy's wiener off
  7. ?????
  8. Profit!
  9. Get you sex or a girlfriend

Moronic Fans

The active posters in Lj-favicon.png chihuahuas are generally middle-aged, overweight, impulsive, assumptive animal rights activists who like to jump down anyone's throat. It is fairly easy to get on everyone's bad side by mentioning any of the following topics:

  • Breeding chihuahuas
  • The term "teacup"
  • Paris Hilton
  • Pet stores/breeders
  • The ignorance of the Southern U.S.

Unless you volunteer at a shelter full time, donate most of your time and money to rescuing pound puppies, or automatically attack and harass members, you probably won't fit in. Also, this community is completely unmoderated.

Memorable example of typical harassment here BALEETED.

Chihuahuas were originally bred as "meat" dogs not as pets. According to experts chihuahua flesh is the tastiest of dog meat. Recipe:


A Video of The Horror

See Also

is part of a series on
Bad things that happen to animals NEDM1.jpg
Basic Concepts [-+]

Animal AbuseFurryBestialityTaxidermy

Meet the Menagerie:

BadgersBatsBearsBeesBirdsBunniesCatsChihuahuasChickensCowsCrabsDinosaursDogsDucksFishFoxesFrogsGiant IsopodsOctopusesPandasParakeetsPenguinsPigsRatsSharksSheepSnakesSpidersTurtlesWalruseWolves

Opposing Concepts and Causes [-+]