Chile

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
<video type="youtube" id="TuSSlFZ8cfA" width="852" height="510" frame="true" position="center"/>


File:Chileddddd.png
Borders of the Chilean Empire circa 1942

Chile is a settlement of gangsters, whores, drug dealers, thieves and flaytes (the Chilean equivalent of chavs). It is located in the west coast of South America, they hate their neighbours (Peru, and Bolivia, and love-some Argentina) because of previous conflicts such as the Independencia and Salitre wars, but they express an unconditional love for eurofags and gringos because they have money and are easy targets for thieves. Chileans speak some mangled form of Spanish with a unintelligible accent plus some indigenous words and a very complex slang; even if you speak Spanish, you will not be able to understand a Chilean unless you are one of them. Although, if you become friend of a Chilean he/she will be the best friend you ever have, they are very loyal people thus ensuring that he/she will not steal something from you.

Chile is also known for it's unhealthy tendency to eartquakes, the alcoholic beverage Pisco (Totally not stolen from Peru), and the Easter Island.

History

Before the Spanish conquerors came to steal the gold, Chile was inhabited by mighty warriors with extra-large cocks called Mapuche, the indigenous/conquerors war lasted 300 years and the Mapuche tibe was one of the few pre-hispanic cultures that didn't disappear like the other weak cunts. Their culture was instead asimilated for the poor people, and nowadays many of the wealthy white Chileans are French, British, German and Croatians.

Chile being an uninhabited COLD part of South America, became an ideal resort for European people who emigrated in the 19th and early 20th centuries to settle the land, steal the resources and take their mestiza/castiza women to have babies with, to make them lighter, brighter and whiter. In other words, Chileans like the German Argentines and Italian EUROguays, a bastardized race.

In the early 19th century Chile was coaxed into independence from Spain by Argentina who declared independence first, which was influenced by The United States, which was influenced by the French. Thus causing Chile to jump into an independence war with Spain, who puppeteered his retarded children Peru and Bolivia to fight for them, the initial independence was achieved after four years of war (1810-1814), mostly possible because during these years Spain was busy dealing with a short baguette making noise in their country. Spain took back the country in the years 1814 to 1817, but Chile would be back with a vengeance, allied with Argentina in the last part of the war, from 1817 to 1823, which ultimately got Spain off the country for good. But things wouldn't end there, angry at Bolivia and Peru for their loyal puppy behaviour, the alliance of Chile/Argentina would move across south america taking out the Spaniard flag off several South-American countries, ultimately wrecking Spain's anus by taking all of their control from the continent.

The Chilean 'Guerra del Salitre' (Saltpeter War) would occur later during the same century, from 1879 to 1883. Peru, feeling like greedy bitches, thought they deserved the moneys Chile was making off their saltpeter mines, but since they weren't strong enough to take out Chile's foreign industry backed army by themselves they once again would ally with Bolivia, this would lead to one of the biggest facepalms in the history of south america, as Bolivia promised their ships to fight alongside Peru but they pussied out, ultimately causing Peru to get utterly destroyed and a border treaty to be signed so not only would Peru have to give Chile an important portion of their desert (Which is where nowadays Chile gets most of it's money from the copper mines), but Bolivia's border treaty would cut off the small portion of sea they owned, a small portion they still bitch about to this very day.

Early 20th century had no remarkable events, until in the early 70's Chile was blessed by Augusto Pinochet, A.K.A. "The Liberator", A.K.A. "Pinocchio", A.K.A. "Pinoshit", A.K.A "Los tengo a todos identificaos!", the unrecognized son of Hitler. At the time Salvador Allende, a commie, had been elected president, and Chile, once again influenced by the gringos, decided to behead him and place Pinochet in his place, who named himself President of Chile, then proceeded to kill and torture thousands of people to save Chile from the communist infection and made the country become better and stronger as it's stands today. Pinoshit would remain in power until 1990, when the Chilean population finally got the chance to vote him off, then placing the Concertacion political party in Pinochet's place, a legitimately democratic center-left political group genuinely caring for the well-being of Chilean people.

Chilean People

Chileans are extremely smart people who sometimes, when bored, go to countries like Sweden, Denmark, Spain, France (since so many Chileans are Basque), Holland, Australia, Canada or the USA to take advantage from their hyper-developed culture and live for free and have some time to ponder about life.

Chile also have the largest Palestinian community in the world outside israel, as well as plenty of Greeks, Japanese, Koreans and a few Polynesian folk, hell, even Cherokee! Yeah, a melting pot, the whole UN!

In Chile being a thief is synonymous with being cool, so the dream of every Chilean kid is to become a professional thief, rob a bank, escape to Europe, rape women, have a child, become citizen and live for free. Also, in Chile is very common that if someone needs something they just go to the house next door and rob irt And finally, in Chile people steal things just for fun, you can see drunk middle-class cunts assaulting the corner shop with guns just because they want to feel the adrenaline.

Chileans tend to dislike Jews (except Don Francisco on Sabado Gigante) and can't stand Black People, and Peruvians and Bolivians are their laugh stock. Aside from that Chileans tend to have little to no negative opinion of other countries.

Calling FOOTBALL "soccer" in front of a Chilean is considered an insult and it's very probable that you'll get bashed, raped, and assaulted, the main soccer teams of Chile are the 'Colo-Colo' (Albos) and the 'Universidad de Chile' (Chunchos), wearing so much as a t-shirt of one of these teams and walking into the wrong neighbourhood will also get you bashed, raped and assaulted.

Typical Chilean Fight

a few words, then the guy stabs the other one in the heart and the stabbed one tells the cameraman "do you see me worried??" and shows the injury to the camera.

Tom green trolls a chilean

La Raza Chilena (SEIG HEIL, LOS INDIOS MAPUCHES!)

Nicolás Palacios

Based on a true story of the Nordic Aryan White Race had sex with indigenous Mapuche Indians to make a super-race of children LULZ.

Hatelist

Chilean Hates:

Chilean Like-somes:

National Heroes

  • Lanza Internacional (the international thief): a Chilean thief living la vida loca in spain, he appeared in the news saying what he does in Spain, he owns 2 cars and he is "upholstered in jewerly", he also tells that he has killed 2 Spaniards and he doesn't care.

Watch Video

  • Checho del Boom: sex-symbol of the Chilean lumpenproletariat, he is known by his videos in youtube where he appears sending regards to his friends.

Watch Video

  • Claudio Spiniak: famous CP video producer and scat aficionado.
  • Pipeinformatico: fat man, paraplegic and has no sphincter control. Also wants to be an influential twitterer which is impossible.
  • Chilean National Tennis Team - won Gold in the 2004 Summer Olympiad, while the Chilean National Soccer team FAILs in FIFA World Cup history (1962! What a year it was. Held on home turf. They won third place. !VIVA CHILE! LULZ.)

FUN FACT

Hardly 1% of the country are Black people, mostly Haitians came to find work. Not much African slaves were there in Chile. But they have Easter Island to pick up slave labor, as well Antarctica to dump unwanted public charges. Now I know how it goes.

Did You Know?

  • That the oldest mummies can be found in Chile?
  • And that this isn't a joke about elderly women?
  • That the brand of brandy known as Pisco was stolen from Peru but no one in Chile wants to admit it?
  • That Chile actually does look like a dried Chili Pepper?
  • That Pinochet 'te tiene identificao'?
  • That Chile has a native version of the [Universal Flood] and it [actually doesn't suck?]
  • And that they also have a version of [Poseidon] and [Gollum?]
  • And that even with that evidence Chileans will promise they don't steal anything?
  • But of course they don't believe that?
  • That Chile's most used word is "Wea" which means Balls?
  • And that in the time that it took you to read that Chileans have said "Wea" tens of thousands times?

See also

Commonwealth Of ED.PNG The Commonwealth of Encyclopedia Dramatica
Members Afghanistan | Albania | Antigua and Barbuda | Argentina | Armenia | Australia | Austria | The Bahamas | Belarus | Belgium | Brazil | Bulgaria | Canada | Chile | China | Colombia | Croatia | Cuba | Cyprus | Denmark | Dominican Republic | Ecuador | Egypt | England | Estonia | Fiji | Finland | France | The Gambia | Georgia | Germany | Greece | Haiti | Hungary | Iceland | India | Iran | Iraq | Ireland | Israel | Italy | Japan | Kazakhstan | Kenya | Latvia | Lebanon | Liberia | Lithuania | Madagascar | Malaysia | Mexico | Moldova | Mozambique | Nauru | Netherlands | New Zealand | Niger | Nigeria | North Korea | North Macedonia | Northern Ireland | Norway | Palestine | Pakistan | Peru | Poland | Portugal | Romania | Russia | Saudi Arabia | Scotland | Sealand | Serbia | Sierra Leone | Singapore | Slovakia | Somalia | South Africa | South Korea | Spain | Sudan | Switzerland | Sweden | Syria | Tajikistan | Tanzania | Thailand | Tunisia | Turkey | Ukraine | United Kingdom | United States | Uruguay | Venezuela | Vietnam | Wales | Zimbabwe
Kick Banned Confederate States of America | East Turkestan | Kosovo | Kurdistan | Ireland | Islamic State | Quebec | South Ossetia | Taiwan | Tibet
See Also For drama in your neck of the world, please consult the Encyclopdedia Dramatica Lulz Map. Also see: ED:Map