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Aspergerbenice.gif This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
so you can't say anything bad! :-(

Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.

Chris-chan Subpage Navigation

Ladies and gentlemen, gal-pals and Jerkops, and dudes of all teenages.


Behold, the mistake of God: Christian Christine Weston Chandler. This is the embodiment of a permanent midlife crisis.

Chris uses this card all the time.
The new and "improved" Chris-chan in 2014, M'laaaaaydeeeeeess!
Someone reacting to anything Chris-Chan has ever done in a reasonable fashion.

Born February 24, 1982, Chris Chan is a fat, stupid, perverted, religious, autistic, basement-dwelling, racist, homophobic, transgender, pedophile, self-proclaimed (ex-) "virgin with rage", manchild, and creator of his own skillfully-written as well as skillfully-drawn series of comics starring Sonichu - his supremely insightful crossover of Pikachu and Sonic the Hedgehog. As well as "suffering" from autism, Chris also suffers from a terminal case of unwarranted self-importance, the only cure for which would be to remove his head from his consequently gaping ass. At the time of this writing, Chris has found neither the time nor the conviction to do so.

Other names for Chris-Chan include: CWC, Christopher Weston Chandler, Christine Chandler, Ricardo Weston Chandler, Ian Brandon Anderson, Ian Brannon Something, The Impostor, Sammy, Stupid Fat Faggot, or any other lulzy names trolls can make up for him, which will make him Youtube-favicon.png throw a tantrum.

The most notable physical characteristic of Chris, beyond the obvious corpulence, is that he wears a medallion made out of crayola FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC and acrylic paint at all times in homage to his yellow Sonic re-color. In public. As if that weren't lame enough, Chris-chan actually has a shitload of medallions: The blachu, and the "Rosechu" medallion (which he planned on giving to his sweetheart), suggesting that he has far too much free time on his hands. Which, of course, he does, because who the fuck would sit around on their fat ass all day coloring-in comic book pages if they had anything better to do with their lives?

Christian's hobbies once included creating My Little Pony figures, including himself as a pony wearing a Sonichu medallion, stalking women at the mall, finding a "boyfriend-free girl" to "make into a Sweetheart from the ground-up", drawing (and actually uploading) pictures of himself having sex with multiple, racially diverse women, drawing porn of his hedgehogs, taking naked pictures of himself, and sexing up a blow-up doll named JULAY (which was originally sold as "Kimmi"). Now all he does is play PS3 all day, suck copious amounts of cawk, and stuff fast food down his throat.

He also got into big trouble when his father walked in on him while he was "Mass Debating". Chris really needs to grow up and sell his toys on eBay. However, no one will buy his shit, so a girlfriend-free faggot he remains forever more, much like his older brother from Liverpool.

But it gets far worse, dear readers...



Chris has doxxed himself in many of his videos, usually when trying to prove his identity, or to get trolls to come to him and fight him in real life.

Btw check out the tour video of his house, and the complete aftermath a few months later. When he goes on a rampage about people mirroring the videos of his house. With the appearance of Bob, who is paranoid and pissed off at Chris, worrying if the Greene County Health Department saw the videos, that they would condemn their house. Bob's paranoia about his house's condition was not unfounded, though not because of the health department. Chris ended up burning the house down while trying to make coffee in the bathroom for some reason. The hoarded clutter that was literally up to the ceiling was spectacular kindling.

IRL Creepiness

Megan shows us how pleasant an experience it truly is being in the presence of Mr. Weston Chandler. Note the fear in her eyes.
Chris is totally NOT GAY!!!

On MySpace, Chris posted his quest for a "boyfriend-free girl" and his stalking tendencies. Unfortunately for him, every woman on the planet appears to have a boyfriend. This has led to what Chris dubs "noviophobia" — in Chris's bastardized highschool Spanish interpretation, he inserts "novio" which essentially means boyfriend, before the Greek root phobia, committing a facepalm-worthy portmanteau that is almost nonsensical enough to make you forget that of all things in the world, Chris has a paralyzing fear of boyfriends. Chris claims to hate every male besides himself and his father, because they "took all the pretty girls leaving [him] with no one to choose from".

Where did it start? I started when my life-long friend, Sarah Hammer, a very pretty girl, was taken away from me by this Magician Jerk, Wes Iseli. At first, I was naive about their relationship. Later on, in spring of 2003, I tried to pick up a girl in a class I was taking at Piedmont Virginia Community College, but she told me right-off, that SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND! And it was like that with every other girl who I talked to since then. Thus, I developed my Noviophobia(mentioned above).


—Chris-chan spills the beans

I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion.


— Chris begins his search for a boyfriend-free girl.

As for Wes, I blame all of these happenings on him. If he had not taken my life-long friend away from me, I might have a Pretty Girlfriend today. And I would not have had to set out on endeavoring LOVE QUEST!


—CWC is foiled in his perennial search for companionship

Chris Chan is destroyer of slanderous LULZ; take that, Encyclopedia Dramatica.


—The long-baleeted MY.gif sonichucwc

Previous Quote | Next Quote
Mary Lee Walsh in real life.

He employed his famous "looking for a boyfriend-free girl" sign in two places: the Fashion Square Shopping Center and Piedmont Virginia Community College. The dean, Mary Lee Walsh, reasonably assumed that Chris was publicly soliciting for sex, had the sign destroyed and banned him from the school for a year. Since then, he has become obsessed with her and depicts her within his comic as a bald witch with a viking helmet, a pitchfork, a scepter to contain her evil anti-love powers, and occasionally a broomstick. We all know he fantasizes about having said broomstick in his ass, but that is another story.

Chris has also shown his hatred towards Mary on several other occasions. He made a hilarious Youtube-favicon.png video asking for fictional character Harvey Dirdban's (not Birdman) assistance to fight "THAT EVIL BITCH MARY LEE WALSH FOREVAR!!1" in a contest for Adult Swim. He also made a video of him fighting Mary Lee Walsh as a custom character in Soul Calibur III. Despite his hate for Walsh, he still took the time with his Magic Markers to make hideous porn of her, due to the fact that he secretly wants to diddle her poo hole. You know you want to see it.

Chris's Love Quest was also foiled by Security Guards of Fashion Square Shopping Center. He was handcuffed and kicked out by Jerkops (half jerk, half cops) "for trying to attract a Boyfriend-Free Girl".

Christian claims to have started his ill-begotten love quest because he wants a daughter whom he will "dubly" call Crystal Weston Chandler (apparently after the illustrious metal). He made her in the form of one of his My Little Pony figures (from his own pubic hair, mind you), and made a separate file in the game Animal Crossing, and played as her.

The person we know the most about is Megan Schroeder who had a huge influence on the comic and Chris himself. She remarked that the antagonist of one of the Sailor Moon movies came off as "kind of queer", possibly influencing Chris's homophobia.

One example of the Chris-induced drama is the blog entry where a girl describes her encounter with Chris as he was wandering stores in search of his true love in late 2004, which can be viewed here.

Chris changes love interests far more frequently than he changes his underwear; it is speculated that he has fallen in "true love" around 50 times.

Trolled IRL

Autistic flirting techniques: Youtube-favicon.png The CWC Nipple Cripple

Trolling of Chris-chan has crossed the OL border into IRL. Whether internet vigilantes are trying to expose him for the psycho stalker he really is or if they fap to picking on retards, it's uncertain.

  • The Game Place, a store where he volunteered, was soon subject to his antics when anon took several photos of him. See here for Chris QQing.
  • An old classmate of Chris, Joshua Martinez, did some trolling. Chris knew him from his old school (Joshua and Chris both had Special Ed together), recently met up with him again and was getting along fine. Apparently, Joshua was very popular with women and had met some famous celebrities. For some reason, Chris became extremely jealous and even tried to get ED to go after him. Note that Chris only values Joshua's friendship because he's popular with women, and that by being friends with him he might end up laid. Unfortunately for Chris, even other special education kids will fuck with him. The chick that Joshua was supposed to hook him up with was just Joshua trolling him with a picture of Vanessa Hudgens. CLICK HERE for Chris-chan unwittingly fapping to Joshua.

CWC vs. ED


Upon discovering this article on the 10th of November, Chris suffered a severe case of butthurt and declared war on every site mocking his Truth and Honesty. As with everything in his life, Chris fucked up.

How do I use preview button?
He took two HTML classes...
...and it shows!

At first, Chris tried tampering with this article while logged in as Reldnahc which is obviously "Chandler" (his last name) spelled backwards. Before erasing the entire article, Chris actually contributed by adding information that he hadn’t submitted anywhere else. Most of his additions were chunks of text from uncited sources which included how Megan “shattered his heart”, and printouts of the Sonichu News Dash: a shitty newsletter about his comic which he also distributed at PVCC that landed him in another apparent conflict with Mary Lee Walsh.

To make matters worse, he also uploaded Rule 34 of his own characters.

Later, when the context of the article finally dawned on Chris, he snapped. He created another account and tried blanking the page several times.

CWC blames Encyclopedia Dramatica for breaking up the relationship between him and Megan despite the fact that she was never his girlfriend. Just another lying attempt to make ED feel troll's remorse.

In this video, Chris congratulated all his non-existent Sonichu fans whom he mistakenly believed brought ED down and further urged them not to donate to ED while failing to realize that ED's downtime was due to an issue related to the website as a whole, and not related to any drama around his article.

Chris's plea for his fans to not donate to ED flopped because the only people who pay any attention to Chris are precisely the ones who helped ED reach its donation goal on August 14, 2008.

CWC vs. ED Parte Deux

Last Thursday, Chrissy posted a video onto the tubes declaring yet another war against his ED page, demanding that the page and discussion page be deleted, or else he wouldn't be making any more of his sweet, sweet comics for his fans to enjoy. He then stated that much like the old adage: "Too many cooks spoil the broth", ED had too many CROOKS. And that "every single word on his ED page was a crook".

After standing in an anime pose with his fist in the air, Chris then hulked the fuck out and proceeded to beat the shit out of a Raggedy Ann doll with a picture of Clyde Cash taped to its face, and that more RAAAAAAAGE would follow if his ED page wasn't taken down posthaste.

The beast can be unleashed here. Or not. It has since been Baleeted! Even youlube.cum doesn't want him on their website!


Baby got Back!

CWCville (Pronounced: Quick-ville) is Chris-chan's imaginary world. Considering how it's portrayed, its full name could be the Our Glorious Leader's True and Honest Lovers' City of CWCville, in a way similar to the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

CWCville is actually two things: a fictional setting for the Sonichu comic, and Chris's long-ongoing pet project. many might call it a "happy place" and an imaginary refuge from the harsh reality. The two things overlap very much. It's sort of like his own personal Silent Hill - except that instead of being a twisted Hell full of violent rage and nightmare beasts, it's a disturbingly cheerful place where Chris's bouncy creations laugh, frolic, and fuck for his amusement exactly like Silent Hill. Characters are introduced without warning and fall by the wayside just as quickly; nobody's quite sure what becomes of them, but knowing Chris it probably involves anguished shrieks emanating from a love dungeon below the Mayor's house.

In the Sonichu comic book world, the town is allegedly located in the state of Virginia, but being a figment of Chris Chan's imagination, it will never be found on an actual map. Yet, in many ways, it seems the city is legislatively and economically cut off from the rest of Virginia and the United States. In this city, Chris Chan is a despotic mayor, where he controls everything at his own will and dictates new laws, granting him the basis of his megalomaniac tendencies.

Inside the comic, CWCville is at a fierce rivalry with neighboring city of "Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens." It is under constant attack from the evil forces of Dean Mary Lee Walsh and her army of Jerkops.

Gallery of Horrors

Chris Chan Galleries (Don't click if you don't want to see)
Rule 34 Fanart Drawings Trolling
Rosechu Nudes About missing Pics

Chris-drawn rule 34 About missing Pics

Chris-chan Noodz About missing Pics
"After absorbing the power of the 7 Chaos Emeralds,

Sonichu transforms into his Super-Form where he is
invincible beyond compare. He can fly sky-high and
has the most powerful Lightining Attacks."




Tranny About missing Pics

Fanart Gallery About missing Pics

Shoops About missing Pics

Sonichu Remade About missing Pics

Original Art Gallery About missing Pics

Non-Sex Photos About missing Pics

Medallion Get About missing Pics

Email Trolling About missing Pics

EbaumsWorld About missing Pics

PROTIP: If you want to add a picture, go HERE, and make sure to put it under the right section.

The End of Sonichu?

In the middle of 2010, Chris announced he was done with Sonichu forevers because the "trolls drained him of creativity." This is odd, because Chris had no creativity to begin with. In reality, he just didn't care about drawing comics anymore. Many retards pine for the days of old-school Chris trolling, where he'd get his bloated ass kicked out of malls, but the thing is is that Chris is so lazy and drawing comics don't reward him with PSN trophies. His mother also told him to quit drawing the comics of him battling McDonald's managers.

August 30th 2010: PS3 Destruction

Three leaked videos (MovingFoward, MovingFurtherFoward, 100_2209.MOV) have appeared on the internets regarding his "Life Upgrade" (aka his PS3). He accidentally DELETED FUCKING EVERYTHING on his PS3 Harddrive, 2 days after that he beat the shit out of it with an edging stone, then stabbed it with scissors then ran over it with his car. It was discovered shortly after that the manchild was trolled (again),according to some leaked emails, he thought that if he destroyed his PS3, he would receive $9,001. Obviously he didn't think through this idea at all. He destroyed nearly $5,000 in his autism and never received the reward that he'd hoped for (no shit).He tried to make people think that he wanted to destroy it, to change his life and stop playing video games.
Sadly, this new direction in his life didn't last. He immediately went into withdrawal and spent his welfare money on a NEW PS3.

September 6th 2010

Chrissy posted a new video on Sept 6th, which can be viewed here. In it he informs us he is very much not dead, and in fact alive, healthy and well. He also notifies us that he hasn't dug up Patti. Even if that is true, poor Patti will no doubt be dug up from under his porch sometime soon, as Chris cannot sleep at night knowing there is an animal corpse nearby he hasn't violated. He then rambles incoherently about how the trolls blow smoke, NO ONE IS GONNA LISTEN TO IT ANY MORE!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!. But hey, guess what? He is gonna regain control of his life and ignore the trolls, so they can't play with him any more. His final message? Haters gonna hate, plus an awesome string twirl.

2010 Endeavors

Chris trying to look sexy for his school reunion.

As of August 27, 2010, Chris is butthurt that his class of 2000 has yet to have a reunion, because at prom a movie said "See you in 10 years". Chris believes the school by law has to host a reunion. Most likely his class has seen his videos and has had the reunion and not invited his fat ass, or thought he was dead. It also appears he may be balding.

Chris decided to tape a video tour of Ruckersville. Here he shows the highlights and favorite places of the town(big surprise, McDonalds and Burger King are a couple of the stops on the tour!)

Chris has stepped up his war against trolls with a new masterpiece.

He advises people to turn them in at their work place and DEMANDS THEY BE FIRED! Or turn them in to the police. He mentions that God will smite the trolls.

As of November 22, it appears Chris has again gotten butthurt at not having friends on FriendFace and has quit the internet forever. Time will tell.


Moar info: Chris-chan/Tomgirl Saga.

Death of a Lumberjack

On September 06, 2011, Robert Franklin Chandler Jr., Chris' father and Internet Lumberjack, died and went to that Great Klan Rally in the Sky. Chris has numerous times used his undead spirit to haunt those he strongly disagrees with
Channy xmas.jpg

Chris-chan goes to jail

Chris and his mom have been arrested and might go to prison. He has been charged with assault and trespassing at the GAMe PLACe. On top of that, Barbara attempted to run Michael Snyder over in the parking lot (the second time this has happened), before driving off, landing them with a hit and run charge as well. However, they were soon pulled over. When officers arrested Chris, Barbara attempted to defend her precious child and was subsequently charged with assaulting an officer.

Chris attempted to have charges dropped in court on 7 November. Although he apparently kept his mouth shut and didn't 'sperg out, he still got no mercy from the Prosecuting Attorneys. Not a single charge was dropped. We have no idea if he pled "Nolo Contendre","Guilty", "Not Guilty due to Insanity" or "Shut Up, Judge!!!"

Turns out our hero, Michael Snyder has indeed called for a civil trial against both Christard and Snorlax.

Chris returned to court on 15 December but fuck all happened; apparently he whined to the judge that he'd only just gotten a lawyer and needed moar time to prepare, and got a delay until 5th January. He brought his 3DS with him and anons from /cwc/ attending the hearing were able to obtain his StreetPass Mii. Even that's a fucking tomgirl. On January 5th, he got yet another postponement, so he could finish levelling up some pokeymans in his game instead of going directly to jail. His next hearing is set for April 5th 2012.

Based on their charges, each of them can potentially face a minimum sentence of one year and a maximum sentence of ten years.

The only way his “get-out-of-jail-for-free-card” could work to somewhat to his advantage would be due to this incident reeking of autistic fuck up and the court would find him incapable of functioning as a normal adult and therefore not responsible for his actions and would then commit him to a mental health facility, likely for most of his remaining adult life. As for Barbara, if the court found her guilty it is likely the 70 year wouldn't survive her prison sentence.

Here's Christard's Version, Straight from the Horses Ass

I tell about us two landing in jail. During a usual, yettiring, shopping outting with my mother, we had just stopped at the Salvation Army story on Cherry Ave and left with a few purchases. She impulsively asked
to go to the SPCA Rummage Sale, and I ended up taking 4 St. NW to stop by the McDonalds there for a cup of tea to go, when at the PLACe, now known as "C-Ville Game & Hobby" (status unchanged on the PLACe website), mom and I read the sign on the window that led me to an occurrence I was waiting for, the PLACe under New Ownership (with burning it down being the alternative).

So, I continue ahead for the tea, and mom asked for a smoothie. On an impulse of the newfound piece of freedom, I drove back to the PLACe, upon closer inspection, I read the "New Owner" sign further, stating, "Under New Ownership of Mike & Madeline"; I had thought, perhaps it was another Mike. Mom insisted on coming in with me, so we did, and a few steps in, who did our eyes see in the new center counter, past employee Nathan, and Michael Snyder.

I hid behind my mother for a moment, and Mike pointed us out the door, but before leaving, I whipped out my 3DS, activated its camera and took his photo, then I shouted, "For the Internet". Mom and I made our way to the van and entered it; Mike followed us out, and Stood right in front of the van, thinking he was Stonewall Jackson. We backed up the van some; Mike chased us. Mom took the wheel; Mike twice made his own deliberate leg scars, rubbing his legs on our bumper, banged our hood and fell backwards; we had NOT moved our van at either instance of him faking his falls.

And more shit happened. Mom called 911 on my phone first (followed shortly after by Mike being handed a phone by someone else for him to make his call. Eventually, mother backed us out onto 4 St. NW, northward, and we escaped. But at the traffic light, we were caught up by a cop car. Parked at the nearby courthouse, two of the cop cars, and us in the van, exchanged the tales of the event and our driver licenses. Eventually, I was asked to step out of the van; I was about to be handcuffed, but I would not have another handcuffing, so I fought, I was pinned, and I was handcuffed.

My NEW pair of $324 Rx lens glasses were broken by THEM in the fight. My mother fought the police in my defense, and she was handcuffed and I was emotionally distraught, I screamed and Screamed and SCREAMED, until an ambulance came for my mother to take her to UVA Hospital; she was okay, but her Blood Pressure was high. I was driven to, entered and thrown into a cell block. At first for a while, I was as melodramatic and sane as Daria, then I started going crazy, I shouted television talk and songs at random; took off my shirt due to the heat; pretended to be a genie with light brown hair for a while, and made an acquaintance with the stainless steel sink with a hex-shaped bowl.

I prayed a LOT to Jesus for my release and safe return home with my mother. And I banged the cell door with both my feet while lying on a folding mattress on the floor (to get those bastards to let me see and talk
to my mother Eventually, my mother arrived, tried to post bail, but there were errors. Rocky was called to help us, BLESS her and her husband soo much. Then my mother was jumpsuited and jailed; I was too shortly before. And I was moved to two other cells. Only after seeing my mother in her suit pass by my second cell, did I start to calm down. I was REALLY WORRIED about my mother and her health. She Needed Me, and I Needed Her. Eventually in cell 3, I dozed off and slept for a few hours. I did not eat their food; I had Never eaten Prison Food, and I was NOT going to start then. About 3 PM on the 29th, mom and I were released, and Rocky and her husband drove us back to our van.

Now mom and I each have our own courthouse dates. I'm sure mom will be only fined, but I have the worse of cases. Mom and I, we are certain I will be found not guilty; it was a case of a Deliberate Deception, with the "New Ownership" sign from Michael, and my falling for his trap. I later printed out the facts of Mike from the Cwcki that night, and I found the "CWC Michael Snyder Interview" video on YouTube, where the clown-faced troll called Mike; Michael Snyder CONFESSES to Wanting to lure me in and land me in jail with a "Pokemon Tournament on the 22nd".

I have streamed from my PS3 to my Laptop to get an MP4 of the video, and to burn the video onto a DVD-R. With this great amount of evidence, we will find Michael Guilty of being a Troll/Cyber Bully among those who have been pestering, deceiving, tricking, blackmailing, etc, me for about 4 years now.

That's the story I share with you, REDACTED, in Strictest Confidence; DO NOT TELL
ANYONE, PLEASE. Do not ask; Do not tell; Barbara and I are working diligently to deal with this. Currently, her court date is set on 12/15; mine is yet to be determined on 11/7, but it'll probably be on the same day as my mother's.

We have also been blessed with connections from Rocky at my church to have Robert B. Bell, Delegate, Republican, Methodist Esquire to represent Barbara and me in both of our cases. It may help to have you come in for support on my trial, and as a character witness. I will send you an update later on.

 Stay Safe, REDACTED,
 Christian W. Chandler

Chris'tard Enabler Unveils the Horror that is Chez Chandler

Chris's Pastoral Councillor Rocky "Bullwinkle" Shoemaker revealed details of the Chandlers living conditions to a suave, British troll named "Doctor Perron" (who turns out to be notorious Fundie Creatard Troll "Chris the Hacker".). Apparently, Not only is the Chandler residence a rubbish heap of hoarded junk... it is also suffering an undefined "infestation problem" and that "bug bites" are part of the reason the Great Lumberjack went off to that sawmill in the sky. He was even under quarantine immediately before his death.
Click here for audio of the phonecall:

Update, April 5th 2012

Although the charges for Trespassing and Assault have been dropped, The Court still wants to nail Chris'tard and Snorlax to the wall for the Hit-and-Run and hitting a cop. It's going to the Grand Jury!

Chris-Chan's Grand Jury.png

That looks a sturdy, unbiased crowd. Justice is sure to come from them.
Also, Snyder v. Chandler is going ahead full steam. The judge in that case wants to play Kick the Autistic.

Update, Julay 10th 2012

Moar ChrisChan Prison Adventure Fun

A Scene from CWCville Jail

Remember, Christard... keep your fat ass to the wall and bend with the knees!!


But we all know he's going to drop the soap on purpose.

Chris-Chan's Virginity: Lost?

On April 12th, 2012, the PVCC troll group posted a flurry of screenshots. They were of a redacted Facebook posting supposedly from the Chris'tard boasting of him sticking his bent duck into sum poontang (which has already been proven physically impossible unless the hooker was a hambeast, and then... giving a gift basket to the prostitute.

Oh, I forgot to mention, she Really Enjoyed my dick; it was soo big and good, that it put the last dude she was with to shame; Her Words.


—Christian Weston Chandler

Of note is that Mr. Chandler has committed another crime, since the solicitation of prostitution is illegal in Virginia.

Call up the Chandler house today, and tell him porking a blow-up doll doesn't count!

Either Chris lied or lost his virginity to a hooker. Neither are things worth bragging about.


—--FarmZombie sums up this whole sad excuse for a saga

Yes, folks...that's what Chris has been reduced to. You'd think that if he knew he was about to go to jail, he'd nut up and do something interesting, but no....Chris will go out with a whimper, without even getting to bang.

Smug Asptard is Smug


"You Trolls Got SERVED!!"


His return

chris-chan has evolved into fabio, you know you want him.

Chris returned to the internet in 10/18/2013 showing off his lego skills in a McDonald's, as his house is too filthy to stand as a backdrop. It's noticed that chris looks more of a faggot than ever.

January 10th, 2014: House fire

In the early days of 2014, 14 Branchland Court was burnt down by a fire sparked by plugging a coffee brewer into a bathroom outlet at 3 AM and leaving it unattended, heating the hoard to its flashpoint. The entire property, along with all of Chris's earthly possessions were destroyed. It begs the question why Chris was brewing coffee at 3 in the morning, although likely reasons would be due to his "biological clock", or that Chris is obviously trying to commit fraud and sue the coffee maker Keurig, or perhaps that Chris likes a nice warm cup of hot java after taking a shit in the middle of the night. One fire fighter was seriously injured - probably because Chris kept going back inside to find his Sonichu medallion.

The roof. The roof. The roof is on fire. We don't need no water, let the motherfucker burn, burn motherfucker, burn.


—Chris's neighbor

EDF Draws It

The faggots on EDF2 of course wasted no time in delivering their art of Chris and his house. The "art" is devoid of any artistic merit, and worse than Chris's own art. Below are their contributions.

BURN BURN BURN About missing Pics
Attached letter

Coming out of the closet

That's a penis.gif
Anyone up for a round of the crying game?

Chris-chan is actually a tranny.

     Enjoy your cock!   8====D (_(__)

This is what bull-dykes with broken cocks look like
Didn't see that coming.

Just a tub of whale shit with perpetually flaccid penis & a severe mud butt and there you go. One of God's unique & beautiful creatures evolving.

On August 16, 2014, Chris comes out as a "Lesbian Identified Male," making him one of countless sufferers of Trolling Induced Transsexuality Syndrome. This means he thinks he was meant to be born in a woman's body, rather than the fat autistic manchild body he currently inhabits. He goes on to say he hates ALL penises, including his own.

Time will only tell if Chris will save up his "tugboat" and get the surgeries needed to become a woman. He also states that Snorlax is not supportive of his decision to come out as gay, but he doesn't care. What a badass, for a 32-year-old to disagree with his mother! He's likely still spooning with her every night, though!

BLUE ARMS! Chris-tran drops the soap

We'd like to remind everyone that this is what he got arrested over.
Chris and SJWs everywhere aren't going to like the 'male' designation here.


—U mad bro...?

Throughout late fall and winter of 2014, Chris-tran Christine has been ranting incessantly about Sonic Boom being the worst thing to happen to the world since Michael Jackson became white. While Boom and all other things Sonic in the past twenty years do suck like a donkey taint rimjob, he/she's not mad at the game for any technical, gameplay, or artistic issues. The non-binary lolcow wonder is mad because Sonic's arms were changed from peach-colored to blue. An aesthetic change so minor it wouldn't warrant a Troper's Tales discussion.

By all rights, this shouldn't even warrant a bit in his article, but our autistic hero's gone full Islamic State with the blue arms thing. Issuing repeated calls for boycotts, violence, and terrorism on his Facebook page going on and on about "sensory overload" like he even knows what those words mean individually. Things finally boiled over sometime around Christmas 2014 with him vandalizing a local Sonic Boom display, harassing GameStop employees, and landing the faggiest pepper spray attack in the history of American criminal law on a random guy while leaving the store. All of this was caught on video.

Chris was picked up by police a short time later sat in jail until his court date which was Monday, 29th December.

He is accused of 6th degree felony. His mom bailed him out, Chris returned to court on February 5th, his case was delayed until April 2nd, then again until May 7th, and then again until June 11, then again until July 23rd, and then ONCE MORE until October 15. Goddammit court system, just find him guilty and imprison the fucker already!


Chris assaults Game Stop employee

Chris expertly masks his butthurt long enough for this mug shot.

Previous Video  |  Next Video

Chris confirmed in jail, keep reading for incredible mental gymnastics.

Don't call ANYBODY!


—Battlecry of CWC

Attention Everyone!!!

To preface what has happened recently, I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!!

If ‪#‎SEGA‬ had Never changed them, or reversed the change between February and November of this year in the new Sonic Boom video games AND Cartoon Series on Cartoon Network, as well as the Toys and whatever else, I would Never Have Had to Protest and Rebel the way I have, including the creation of my group, FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!

Within my groups, I have lead by example to push forward to the path of Waking SEGA Up and Forcing Them to Change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately. And to confess, I HAVE DONE MY PART FOR REAL! I had personally gone into three of the four local GameStops (EXCLUDING the Fashion Square one) THREE TIMES to Personally Protest in my Silent Way. First Attack: I printed, as seen on the Facebook Group, the Fronts of the Sonic Boom Game Inserts, affixed double-sided tape onto the backs, and affixed them onto the fronts of their respective display game boxes on the shelves. Second Attack, about a week later: I checked the success of my first attack: damaged a few original inserts pretty well to full removal. And of what were still there, I made attempts to transfer the inserts from the original cases into Behind the inserts of different games. I've had to briefly explain my reasons and the Protest, and told them that they should NOT BE SELLING THE BLUE_ARM_BANDIT GAMES IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND THAT THEY SHOULD SEND ALL OF THEIR REMAINING STOCK OF SONIC BOOM GAMES AND STUFF BACK TO SEGA, TO MAKE THEM CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!! They did nothing. And one last week later, the Third and Final Attack, and the ONE and ONLY time that the Fashion Square Location had been involved as well. I made up and printed faux price tag decals, with the short note to discourage purchase of the Blue Arm Bandit games, and promote the Protesting Boycott. And with the Five Wii U software cases that each melted a bit from the MY House Fire Last January, as well as Five Smoke Damaged 3DS Game Cases (no melting), I had printed a full front, side and back insert with the boycott encouragements, and the notes on the back to make the stores send their remaining stock Back To SEGA!

I Have ran into individuals giving me Bad Grief for my Protest and Actions, OUTSIDE from the Fashion Square Location, but I HAVE done my duty in full to the best of my abilities at the individual moments and circumstances.

I also HAD Hidden ALL of the Blue Armed Sonic Toys at Toys R Us here, concealed hidden amongst their \M/ETAL cupboards, so they ALL would NOT be SOLD, and Best Boycotted for The Protest! They remained hidden for the longest time of over a Month; found and reshelved near the 20th of December to my personal dismay and crestfall. And at Best Buy, ALL Copies of THEIR Sonic Boom Games are STILL SUCCESSFULLY CONCEALED AND HIDDEN from View AND Purchase!

Anyhow, AFTER the Final Attack for the Protest, near a week later, on December 8, I had typed, signed, addressed and US Mailed apology letters, with the promise to have been done with my In Person Protest Deeds with No Further Action therein, to ALL but the Fashion Square GameStop, and I had sent one to Toys R Us as well. I had thought the FS GS would overlook the ONE attack of Protest on them, but obviously, I was mistaken.

Which brings us up to now.

Last Friday, the 26th, my mother and I were at the mall, getting pizza and spaghetti for lunch. She had informed me of a good Mini Refrigerator deal at Sears, so after eating, I made my way to check it out. NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED AT SEARS, and I went NOWHERE NEAR JCPENNY that day. There was a good 3.1 Cubic Foot Fridge for $129.99 that caught my eye, but that is to be purchased later.

On the way to Sears, I peeked into the GameStop, and I spotted a New Skylander Figure: Blastermind. I was set to buy it, and I was going to consider checking out their Wii U Preowned Software selection in their 3 for 2 deal. Innocent; I was NOT Looking for Trouble. But then this MALE Loomed out in front of me, frightened the crap out of me, and he said in a BOOMING VOICE that ONLY scared me worse, "YOU ARE BANNED FROM HERE. YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW." But still determined to continue my shopping, I veered into the Wii U direction, when his female accomplice startled me and boomed in as well. Still feeling frightened and mentally overloaded, I made a grab for my pepper spray to use In Defense. I offered a few Peaceful solutions, but she ended up sending him to go get security. So, I shouted, "Fine! I'm Leaving", and I dropped the figure. And on my way out, I told the MALE to Not Get Anyone, and we both stopped near simultaneous. I still felt my own worse from wear with the fear, startle, paranoia, and I did NOT want him following me and causing more trouble upon me. And then in my defense and to make my escape, I spritzed a miniscule amount of the pepper spray Downward; NOT into his face. And then I left.

I did not learn until much later that the spritz had done a lot worse than I had imagined it would, as well as learning that they were the so-called "Manager" and "Ass Manager" of that particular store.

I had No Idea of the contents of the Pepper Spray, OR that it was Illegal for use in certain situations in the state of Virginia at all.

And, I HAD tried the stuff on myself days before in the upstairs bathroom. A Two Second Spray onto my left wrist, some of it got onto the bath tub wall as well. Like sampling a perfume or deodorant. It Took Me Out damn well. I had to open the windows, turn on the bathroom fan AND aim the box fan into the bathroom to air the place out, and I wiped the wall off as well, and OF COURSE I washed my hands. It took fifteen to thirty minutes to make it bearable in there again.

In the end, Yes, I went along peacefully when the "Police" arrived to collect me, and I had to spend a miserable weekend in Jail. And I just got out on a bond and bail; yada, yada, yada.

In the END, I WAS the Victim; I did not cause the original provoking; The "Assistant Manager" Made the First Attack ONTO ME and Provoked my defensive response. I was Minding My Own Business; NOT Looking for Trouble, and then HE Startled Me, similar to a potential Rapist in a Dark Alley in a big city. ANY of you would have done the same as I Have in Defense AND Escape!

And we can SUE SEGA for Changing Sonic's Arm Colour and Ultimately, this MALE getting Pepper Sprayed! Think About It Seriously!

And my Protest Actions are NOT acts of "Vandalism", regardless of your individual perceptions. It was NOT Vandalism, but Good Protest when in around 2004, At Fashion Square, I tried their NEW Soda machines with a credit-debit card slot, and then I learned of the FIVE DOLLAR SURCHARGE that brought my bank account into the Freaking Red! I subtly Posted Sticky Note Signs onto each machine shortly after, "This Machine Charges You Five Dollars per Card Use". A few days later, the Original Machines returned! Nobody gave ME Any Freaking Grief or Complaints at all about that!

AND if you REALLY want to see the Whole Mess Happen, go find the Security Tape of the time of Point A, my finding Blastermind to Point B of my departure from the store.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a LOT of much required Packing to Take Care Of.

Good Day.

Chris is Permabanned From Game Stop

Chris Chan PermaBanned From Game Stop.jpg

Since the macing incident Chris has been bawing to the corporate office hoping to overturn his ban at the one store claiming at one point that it was transphobia. In an act of pure lulzy irony Gamestop told Chris that not only is he banned from that one store but "statewide".

We take the safety of our employees and customer base very seriously and believe that the precedence set by your previous behavior and the threatening tone of your letter towards one of our valued employees unfortunately indicates a high likelihood of future conflict. I have enclosed a complete list of Gamestop retail stores where you are no longer permitted entry for your convenience. Please be aware that our employees will be instructed to contact local law enforcement for immediate intervention if you should enter the premises at any of these locations.


—Gamestop telling Chris he is batshit insane.

Chris causes havoc at Wal-Mart

Chris, not smart enough to keep his aspie ass out of public while waiting for his day in court for the previous incident, got kicked out of a Wal-Mart (just proving that he's banned everywhere in town). This happened a week after the GameStop incident. It was confirmed in a conversation Chris had with someone online. In it he called himself a "badass", yet clutched his trannie pearls when the manager asked him to leave. Once again he threatened the staff with pepper spray. When asked why he carries it, he claimed he gets constant harassment from trolls, bullies, etc. Once again it's everyones' fault except Chris'.

Chris Chan rages at Wal-Mart.jpg

Female soul Chris Chandler discussed the Wal-Mart banishment in January 2015 during his annual state of the Chris-Chan union address (and revealed he may possibly be also unwelcome at his local Target). He feels only TWO offenses should result in automatic banishment. Threatening to mmace employees should be forgivable IF you are having a BAD DAY, along with other things people typically do while having a bad day, such as perhaps urinating on the cantaloupes or attempting sexual acts with underaged beta fish. His female soul is very shattered.

Chris chan female soul.gif

Chris wants to be a stripper

In April we got to see what Chris plans on doing to supplement his income if he gets his social security taken away. Once again he's suffering from a persecution complex, because you know there are so many people who want to see an autistic, overweight, 33 year old, shemale rub his ass in their face.


Da Update

So where is our hero now? You'll find him making hand-crafted amiibos of all of your favorite recolors, going for about $40. Whether you want to waste your money on probably-shit-smeared toys with crayola model magic plastered onto them is up to you. You'll be unsurprised to find that white knights are giving genuine reviews saying how these models have brought happiness into their mundane lives, and that he's somehow managed to make 70 sales, which you can see the full account here.

On the Chris-Tran side of the battlefield, I believe this one quote may be able to answer any question you may have about his transformation into a brave and strong woman:

Hey! Who wants to do me a Really Big Favor? Past context, unrelated things and all, I have just heard and learned of something of great interest to me: a Vee-String. They are pricey. To be curt, if anyone offers me a really big donation, which part of would allow me to order one, that person may discretely request a printed photograph of me modeling in it, in addition to the gifts of the $500 or $1000 levels (not at all on any of the lower levels). This is not a mandatory thing, but would be greatly appreciated.




Return of The Tran Fag

It seems as though we may be witnessing a new saga on the horizon as Chris has started to upload more videos of him in front of the camera. So far (as of November 3rd) the retard has uploaded three cringe videos to the damn internet. The first video is just giving thanks to all of his white knights for giving him more money for PSN and junk food and it seems as though he has dyed his fucking hair. The second one is him trying to apologize for being rude to the homos. The third one is the worst out off all of them. I don't even want to describe it. Seriously just watch the fucking video below. It should also be noted that he disabled comments on his official CwcvilleGuardian channel so you're gonna have to leave your comments on the CWC Library. However, the stupid fat prick has also managed to reveal his email to the internet on Fagbook in attempt to get lesbian china. For the record, it's [email protected].

Thank You from Christine Chandler
Apology for past homophobic comments and homophobia

Sorry, Trump! I'm not voting for you and I don't think anybody else will, either.


Chris-chan stumps the Trump. (Now that Chris-chan's a shemale, he's a leftist.)

Chris gets a PS4

In March 2016, Chris bought himself a PS4 and decided to pretend someone sent it to him for some reason. Not only does Chris create videos with it, he also starts doing streams where he e-begs on youtube, with the comment sections predictably being filled with weens.
In these streams, Chris usually commentates over videos he uploaded years ago, and demanding that everyone treats him like a woman, as well as sending him money for things that will never get done. Chris also sometimes streams gameplay, most notably Destiny, in which said gameplay holds nothing of interest, and weens still spamming the comment sections.


CWC's Autism Tutorial HD with Commentary

Also, in a predictable display of stupidity, Chris realizes that doing nothing all day somehow leaves him no time to create more retarded comics, so decides to create the, uh, "company" of Sonichu Entertainment of America.
With this he plans to employ people to do his shit for him, despite the fact he can barely pay for himself, let alone other people (and his mom who actually pays for him is $2,000 in debt). With this grand scheme of "selling fun for the whole family", he plans to sell the usual gimmicky shit such as hats, t-shirt, mugs and many other "fine products".

Hurry up and submit your CV, spaces are filling up fast!

Fan Videos

That's how the shit has started
1912 Silent Film
14 Branchland Court Murders
The Original Brony

The Christian Weston Chandler Documentary

On February 2, 2015 a YouTube user by the name of Sachumo uploaded his lifeswork, an hour long documentary on the life of Chris Chan. In the documentary Sachumo goes so far as to ask real psychologists and mental health professionals in his interviews about the bizarre case that is the life of the God-Emperor of Autism himself.

See Also

Chris wearing his mother's undergarments.

External Links


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