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Noisy sex

Chris' new sign


Last Thursday, Chris-Chan uploaded this gem to his YouTube, professing his love to Juliet. Oh, and he also made a video of him fucking a blowup sex doll while saying her name over and over again. Click here if you hate yourself (work safe!) His retired parents were both home at the time, in ear's reach of the grunting, bed thrashing, and screaming.

Can you imagine if Toy Story was real, toys coming to life every time Chris leaves? Now there's a sad image. Abused Sailor Moon and Pokémon dolls having group therapy sessions in the middle of the room. The doll he sexes the most is Optimus Prime.

Well his parents didn't hear his noisy sex that time. But 2/27/09, Chris spent his Friday night having phone sex with Julie out in the kitchen where the Chandler family computer was. He was moaning very loudly and then father came out and caught him.

Have a listen. You can also relive ths experience here. By the way, Julie is a 13 year old boy, whose voice although is deeper than Chris-chan's, it still is high pitched enough to fool Chris into thinking he's a girl. Julie is not a troll, however, and is actually in love with Chris-chan in some sick gay way likely due to previous child molestation.

Get away from that internet, I'm cutting it down!


—Bob "The Lumberjack" Chandler