Chyna

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Not to be confused with China or Blac Chyna, or China, Chris-Chan's neologism for pussy

Joanie Laurer, more commonly known as Chyna, was a bodybuilder and professional wrestler in the WWF who taught the young women of the late-90s that they could do anything that a man could do as long as they just put their hearts into it and abused a shitload of steroids and other assorted drugs. She was also known for having developed a micropenis and for her obnoxious voice that sounded like the last breaths of a dying animal that just got run over by a Mack Truck.

Following her career as a professional wrestler, Chyna went on to star in various films and television shows – Most notably landing a role as She-Hulk in a low-budget porno and appearing on Celebrity Rehab in a failed attempt to battle her life-threatening addiction to alcohol and drugs. On April 20, 2016, Chyna's bloated and maggot-infested corpse was found in her apartment, the police believe that she died of a "suspected drug overdose" several days earlier at the young age of 45.

Chyna was billed as being the "Ninth Wonder of the World", and her seemingly circumcised micropenis was often billed as being the tenth.

Career

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Chyna vs. Jeff Jarrett

Joanie Laurer was hired by the WWF in 1997 after abusing steroids and proving herself worthy by beating the living shit out of a man in a dress. She took the stage name of "Chyna" (derived from the word vachyna) and quickly rose to prominence due to the fact that she possessed a pussy – Something that most professional wrestlers didn't possess at the time.

After winning many fights that were definitely not staged, Chyna then faced off with Jeff Jarrett in a match for the WWF Intercontinental Championship Belt. Chyna ended up smacking Jeff Jarrett with a literal kitchen sink and then finished him with a guitar to the back of his head, thus making her the first female to ever hold the title of WWF Intercontinental Champion.

After leaving the world of professional wrestling, Chyna then began a career as a porn star.

Last Night in Chyna


Chyna, preparing to curl up and die.


Quotes

   
 
No matter the cause of death, we all know that #patriarchy killed Chyna. #RIPChyna
 

 
 

—SemperJase, thinking that the patriarchy did Chyna

   
 
Shattered glass ceilings, kicked down doors, broke gender barriers, . Rest now-ur legacy lives on #RIPChyna
 

 
 

—alwayslarrie3, believing that steroids are feminism drugs

   
 
I'm still fucked up about it sorry!!!!!! Bye Chyna was murdered by misogyny and indifference just like the rest of us will be don't @ me
 

 
 

—jortician ‏

   
 
chyna was murdered by Vince McMahon as a way of cleansing his products history of any unsavory characters #WakeUp
 

 
 

—Alex J. Riley, revealing the truth

   
 
WWE has a problem. Chyna dies aged 45, following Chris Benoit murder-suicide, and early deaths of Test, Eddie Guerrero, Umaga, Bigelow ...
 

 
 

—Jamie Pandaram, realizing that wrestlers tend to die young

   
 
HHH and stephany McMahon killed Chyna
 

 
 

—JussDuffy

   
 
Queen Elizabeth had Chyna killed for her 90th birthday.
 

 
 

—Ditherkins

   
 
No, old people pass away, Chyna killed her self through self distructive behavior. Let's not sugar coat it...
 

 
 

—Jason Soler

   
 
Do people really think Vince McMahon actually killed Chyna? What world do you live in ...
 

 
 

—Chewy Shittwood

   
 
Conor McGregor killed Chyna as part of an initiation rite from Hunter in order to get signed by the Fed.

WAKE UP SHEEPLE.
 


 
 

—MokojinGaming

   
 
#RIPChyna OMFG CHYNA Is DEAD !!!!!!!!!! @KylieJenner KILLED HER
 

 
 

—fassionable

   
 
Chyna died huh? Karma for all the boners she killed by being in a porn.
 

 
 

—Cthulhu_Tweets

   
 
I think Black Chyna got that Chyna gal killed so she could be just "Chyna", but now it's too late because no one will call her that.
 

 
 

—BettyGGA

   
 
Trump killed Chyna.

Prove me wrong.
 


 
 

—SooperMexican

   
 
RIP all of Chyna except her mutant clit that killed a cop and had a cameo in the Toxic Avenger.
 

 
 

—Andrew Polk

   
 
IM GONNA GO FAP TO CHYNAS SHEHULK PRON DERE OR WHATEVER FUCK....GONNA BE A GOOD TIME DAWGS!!!
 

 
 

—WrestlingJesus

Galleria de Chyna

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Fan Art (i.e. Rule 34) About missing Pics
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Videos






See Also

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The WWF's logo from back when Chyna was still relevant.


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Featured article April 22 & 23, 2016
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School Shooting
Chyna Succeeded by
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