From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Circumcision is the act of slicing off the foreskin of the penis making it about 3 inches smaller than it could have been, while also removing about twelve square inches of flesh that is chock full of the highest concentration of nerves in the human body. It is usually done with a butcher knife, cleaver, rabbi teeth, machete, or shards of broken glass but if you are from Tasmania, all one has to do is kick your sister in the jaw. It used to be a religious thing, performed among Jews and was then adapted by catholics to prevent boys from masturbating and wasting that sweet boycum. It is also used in modern times as a wonderful way to welcome a new baby into the world. Who doesn't love mutilating the genitals of newborns?!!!!11!!!1
The availability of circumcision information on the Internet has the ability to piss circumcised men off about something they weren't even thinking about, or perhaps something they were told was just a little snip. Thanks a lot, internet. Sure I appreciate the gambling and hardcore porn, but didn't you ever consider MY feelings?
About 15% of men on the planet are circumcised, and of that 15%, 70% are Americans. The corresponding fact that 80% of viagra is sold in America only adds to the mounting (lol) evidence that the jews are mutilating babies for profit.
Few things get people as excited on the Internets as circumcision, because discussing other people's penises on the internets makes gay people happy and causes outbursts of rage in the straight community. If you lurk the chans, be sure to drop a "cut vs uncut" thread on there for lulz and drama, and make sure to mention uncuts are superior to force the argument. If you say cuts are superior you'll just get anti-lulz and fail. The most vocal opponents are the majority of all internets, who prefer their sausages with casings. To quote an expert:
—A gay homosexual
Whenever someone brings the topic up, the conversation usually involves most guys not giving a shit about it and smart people freaking out and using a form of the word "mutilated" in every post. Then the pedos (who love circumcision) start to freak out, sensing a threat to their supply of masturbation material - photos of circumcised baby penises. White trash moms (who love to make their babies dicks look AND smell like shit) team up with the douchebags and shit gets out of hand.
According to statistics, there are more white people circumcised than trained monkeys or jews currently in America. However niggers have a bigger penis than you, which is obviously a coincidence. Circumcision has been shown to cause both erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation: the former because removing that "piece of skin" means there is less actual skin to stretch during an erection, which is particularly true in high and tight cuts (you probably don't have to worry if you have a low and loose in which case you are significantly closer to being normal); and the latter because less nerves means you have less sensation of when you're about to cum. This leads to Americunts getting all-cut-over circumcisions and making up more facts about circumcision to make themselves feel better.
What it boils down to is this: if you're raping something asleep, you want to cum ASAP for maximal escape chance. Keeping your penis is a proven method of jizzing quick. Also, if one is uncircumcised, you are a true male, due to the ability to bring lulz from clever tricks using this skin. See foreskin.
However, you are probably never going to have sex anyhow, so you can disregard most of this article as it really doesn't matter either way. Arguing over circumcision on teh interwebs is like two cripples arguing over who has stronger legs. Though if you really must have a handy tip; for cuts: say the uncut guy has a higher chance of catching STDs, which is a lie and will cause major drama because of it. For uncuts: say the cut guy feels nothing during sex because of his lacking of an extra 20,000 nerve endings, and be sure to have links to articles proving this number otherwise you'll just generate anti-lulz such as "oh yeah well I highly doubt theres any nerves in that piece of skin." Use this for example: The foreskin is srs bsns.
Broads can get their clits lobbed off too. Ouch. Unlike circumcision, this is illegal to perform without consent and can't be forced on babies. Unless you are in some small village in the middle of Nowhere, Afurika. In which case, you can get away with it. The preferred method is a piece of broken glass or battery acid (Now you can be just like John H Kellog!), but a cat is fine too. Fuck the clit! They don't need one anyway!
Some men who were dickhurt over having been circumcised during infancy feel the need to restore their foreskins,although this is pointless because they will never regain the 20,000 nerve endings lost in the procedure and only Eurofags and homosexuals like foreskin despite the fact that 99.9% of consenting women would not know the difference even if they were trying to suck two cocks at once.
During Jewish circumcision, the mohel (specially trained pedophile who performs the operation) will finger the foreskin, molest the infant to achieve erection, cut off the over 50% of his dick skin, then suck the blood out of the open wound. Seriously, I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.
Jews have a Party where they invite everyone over to brag about their newborn son's half incher and then joyously allow someone (usually picked by whoever has the sharpest knife with them) the right to slice their sons dick up. While the Jews watch the babies penis get molested and mutilated they enjoy various snacks as watching a babies penis bleed is known to increase a Jew's appetite by over 9000. Often times if the parents are not stocked up on enough cocktail weiners/bananas/other phallic looking foods then the foreskin of the victim is ingested ritually.
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SeaNiggers Are The New Jews
Filipinos with enough sense to avoid having their genitals mutilated with a machete and a coconut are mocked out of jealously for their fully functional dicks with the slur "supot" meaning "I'd love to suck your gorgeous intact sausage."
After centuries of unhygienic BME sponsored tribal initiations of 9-14 year old boys, many dumbfuck Filipinos ended up brainwashing themselves into believing mutilated pindicks make you taller instead of the fact puberty naturally occurs after the age of initiation anyway (SERIOUSLY!). Seanigger dipshits idiotically became more enthusiastic about slicing up their own cocks after thinking they could reverse their midget height, however their minuscule stature, tiny dicks and self-inflicted mutilation are all permanent. EPIC SELF-PWNAGE!
It's no surprise the world's most infamous self-hating jew Bobby Fischer was very fond of the self-hatred he shared with Filipinos, so much so that he honored them with his first annual September 11 celebration being broadcast on Filipino radio.
People Who Approve Of Circumcision
- 16 year old girls
- John Harvey Kellogg He started the circumcision trend to save you from masturbation related deaths.
- South Koreans
- Kofi Annan
- People who don't want STDs and are too lazy/stupid to use a condom or who've read wiki answers frequently
- Bill Gates - he's jealous of your big, black wang.
- Your Mom
- People who are missing pieces of their dick.
People Who Disapprove Of Circumcision
- South Americans
- North Koreans
- Jay Naylor
- Foreskin Man
- People who love dickcheese
- People who have all of their dick
- 90% of the world Srsly no political candidate in history EVER has even come close to such a margin.
Examples Of Incorrect Knowledge On Circumcision
A long long time ago in a country far away a man called John Kellog decided it would be fun to cut boys penises off and pour acid on girls clits. This was obviously enjoyed because the government decided to make it lolimportant in a high percentage of newborns. Since then the American doctors want to team up with the Jews to create random facts so more people will circumcise their kids so pediatricians can keep making money. Here's some facts you can expect to hear:
- Circumcision lowers chances of getting STDs, it's true we tested it in Africa! - The test results showed cut men who didn't wash were more likely to get STDs than uncut men who didn't. Cut/Uncut Men who did wash had equal chances.
- Circumcision doesn't actually remove 20,000 nerve endings, it's just a fold of skin! -A circumcised person. - The foreskin is used to protect the glans from damage up until the age where you need to stop being a lazy fuck and pull it back to keep cheese out. It contains a lot of blood vessels and nerve endings unluckily for you. However these nerve endings feel slightly less than the ones on the head, but the Jews are way ahead of you! having your foreskin removed means your head will be rubbing against everything decreasing it's sensitivity to match your lack of nerve endings. TL;DR, yes it does remove them.
- Circumcision makes you last longer in bed! - The time you last in bed is only 20% controlled by sensativity and is 80% controlled by your brain. DOES THAT MEAN I LAST 20% LONGER! COOL!
- He will look like other guys in the changing room! - Ok now you're just being a fag. Why would you want his/your cock to look like another man's in a changing room? Besides circumcision is the minority now so either go back in time by about 30 years or cry as your gay son is laughed at in the changing room for being the odd one out.
Internet Articles full of lies and fail, Protip: You're getting trolled! -A circumcised person.
- Bill Gates knows all about Mutilation
- Niggers are worries about getting AIDS so they stopped using condoms and joined the government
- Cutting it off will change how my brain works so i can last 2-3 times longer!
- Yahoo answers knows best
- He was obviously in Jerusalem, in America now only about 35% circumcised, unless you live in Miami.
- As if the government was already had enough, the woman in the picture is old and probably has AIDS too
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- Zionist Conspiracy
- Metzizah b’peh -Legalized Jewish pedophilia/guro done for the lulz
- NY Times - What happens in New York City, stays in New York City.
- Hitchens on Cocksucking - Christopher Hitchens is butthurt about circumcision.
- NOCIRC - Some people who don't want doctors to be pedophiles
- CIRCINFO - Some people who think that cutting skin off your cock will give you magic Jesus powerz
- Ambiguous - Some people who might not care either way
- FARK Forums - An example of intelligent discourse regarding circumcision
- Artificial foreskin! It's like having a foreskin you can't feel! <---don't buy,the moisture still escapes. Buy this instead you dickhurt fuck.
- San Fagsisco bans circumcision, Jews are outraged Banning circumcision is antisemitic and racist!
- Black woman circumcises son with pliers and a box cutter to save money
- Baby gets herpes after getting mongled by a rabbi
- Israeli woman fined $140 per day for refusing to cut son's dick off -Give me your shekels goy! Oy vey! It'd another shoah!
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