This article is about the user Clementine. For the music player, see iTunes.
On Gaia Online, there are these newfangled things in your accounts called "passwords". These "passwords" are how you access your account. If you give your "password" to someone else, they can access your account and also change the "password" to something only they know, thus locking you out of your account. This is known as "scamming". If you are "scammed", it is assumed to be your fault.
Most Gaiafags know the score, but Clementine, a bright and articulate 13-year Manhattanite, thought she, her older sister, and her mother, knew better.
—The Gaiafag Clementine herself
When the obvious scamming happened, instead of filing a report, Clementine turned into the perfect lolcow and got a pair of bullshit bloggers to write an article about it, even though the article itself is littered more with wankery about the bloggers than any real news.
What Really Happened
Clementine was whoring it up towns like the furfag she is. When a male stranger repeatedly begged her to gift him a cape, she refused. Before she even finished getting rid of him, she received a PM from some account pretending to be a mod that said she'd been reported and needed to give the mod her password. While this should have set off the red lights, being of slightly better intelligence than a retard, she went and talked with her mother and sister, who
—The consensus of idiots
Her account got nuked shortly afterwards.
Rather than realize what she's done is completely stupid, she unleashes THE FUCKING FURY and whines until some blogger goes and harasses Gaia for her. Eventually, the Jews finally twist Gaia's arm into giving Clementine her account back (but not her username), sans all her items except the worthless ones like her precious pet Water Meat.
Quotes From the Article
—Clementine's Mother and Fucking Idiot #1
—Drama from the article, cause we all know kidnapping is equivalent to losing $60
—Moar Drama from the article
—Still Moar Drama
—Oh cry me a fucking river
—Sure, if you've only been on Gaia for a month and kept yourself logged in for days and days on end, ignoring a little thing called LIFE
—Clementine's Mother, who thinks her daughter's shit is valuable
For a change, Gaiafags stood united, not for a decision by the admins or a newly released item, but in unity with the sheer lollercoaster Clementine had caused by being a whiny bitch.
Thus, on November 22, 2007, Gaiafags whored it up by cluttering up their avatars with every goddamned monthly collectable and furry item they could find (plus one Water Meat!) and celebrated Clementine Day, held on Thanksgiving because:
Despite the obvious faggotry involved in merely being on Gaia, Clementine Day stands as proof that there may very well be hope for Gaiafags to learn the ways of Anonymous.
- The BullShit Article that Started it All
- Gaiafags get to feel superior for a change
- GCD does Clementine Day for the lulz
- Alex Wuori, another moron who went to the news rather than deal with his own problems
|Clementine is part of a series on Gaia Online.||[Click to Expand]|