Cocaine Babe

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Cocaine Babe = infected with GOTIS
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Cocaine Babe, Melina Roberge, (24) is a former Jewelry Store manager and alleged prostitute from the Great White North that is better known as Soviet Canuckistan. She was arrested in Ausfalia while trying to smuggle in 95 kilos, or about 210 pounds, of the Columbian booger sugar while on a luxuary boat cruise.

Being afflicted by the attention whore gene that is best known for expressing itself when two X chromosomes are present, Melina Roberge has said that her entire motivation and her willingness to smuggle the coke into Ausfalia was because she wanted to "take selfies in exotic locations and post them on Instacunt to receive 'likes' and attention and a following".

Roberge was sentenced to 4 years and 9 months in prison where she will be traded back and forth by the bull dykes for cigarettes and taught to eat pussy like a pro.


   
 
She was seduced by a lifestyle and the opportunity to post glamorous Instagram photos from around the world. She wanted to be the envy of others. I doubt she is now
 

 
 

Judge Kate Traill


First A Whore, Then A Drug Smuggler

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Referencing every girlfriend or wife who has had their other walk in on them when they were having a dick put in every one of their holes, this is, obviously, none of Roberge's fault.

Roberge told NSW courts how she was groomed by a Sugar Daddy into leading a lifestyle she didn't want because it would embarrass her family if they were to ever find out. Roberge said she first met this man who only wanted to give her money just because she was pretty at a Montreal restaurant in 2015.

"Occasionally, when we would attend nightclubs together, he would introduce me to some of his friends," Roberge told NSW courts. "He said his friends really liked me and were willing to pay me money to spend time with them. Some of my friends were like, 'you know - this dude's a pimp' and I was like NO he ain't. He knows I like to travel and he's just hooking me up with someone who wants someone to make them look good on a trip and in the pics they send to their friends."

Roberge has claimed that the trip she went on where she was caught smuggling cocaine was just another one of these trips despite close to 60 kilos of cocaine being found in one of her suitcases in her cabin.

As expected, she alleged it was planted.

Prosecutor for the Crown, Thomas Muir has said he has heard it all. Roberge is trying to play the "Babe In The Woods", thinking that she can convince everyone that she didn't know what was going on, even thinking that getting her mother to testify and claim Roberge was taken advantage of by an evil man who only wanted to use her because she is naive and only looking to be loved.

Melina Roberge To Courts, "Im Sowwy"

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When she realised that fluttering her eyes, flipping her hair and crying wouldn't be enough to get her out of trouble, Roberge decided that it was in her best interest to cop a plea and rat out her sugar daddy, Andre Tamin, that she earlier claimed frightened her and made her fear for her family's safety when she initially refused to name him.

Making her apology to the "People of Ausfalia" Roberge said, "It was when I was sitting in jail that I came across people struggling with addidiction and I saw firsthand how these drugs were ruining these unfortunate people's lives. I don't want to be a part of this anymore.

Breaking down in tears, Roberge said that she only smuggled the cocaine into Ausfalia "for the opportunity to take selfies in exotic locations and post them on Instagram to receive 'likes' and attention and so that people could see how hot she is."

"I wasn't there to do any smuggling. My job," Roberge said, "was to serve as the distraction on account of how good I look. Everybody knew that you'd be looking at me and so we could, like, just do it all right in front of you"

Some Interesting Facts About Melina Roberge

Isabella Lagace
  • Melina's accomplice Isabelle Lagace is a pornographic model.
  • Isabelle's stealthy porn name was Izabel.
  • Her whole drug smuggling trip is documented, or was most likely by now deleted, on Instagram. She and Isabella became minor Instagram stars as they posted photos from their cruise ship. It was this same following that gave Melina the name Cocaine Babe when she was busted.
  • Melina's trip cost $14,000. She was given $4,000 spending money and stood to make $100,000


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