Condoleezza Rice

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Uncle Ben Condoleezza.png
Condi's family. She was adopted.
It's not a well-known fact that she's actually a turtlehead.

Born at least 100 years ago in Alabama, Condoleeeeeezzzzzza Rice is a flirty little monkie the token self-loathing minority of the Republicunt party. In her spare time, this freckled black enjoys eating pussy while wearing nothing but dung-stained overalls and singing "Mammy's l'il baby luvs short-nin' short-nin', Mammy's l'il baby luvs short-nin' bread!" She also uses the moniker of "Dr. Condoleezza Rice", possibly as an homage to fellow rapper and filthy sodomite Dr. Dre or her Uncle Ben. She's also very angry all the time.

Her important tasks mainly include buying shoes, picking cotton for Barbara Bush, going to the theatre and fellating George W. Bush's mushroom head penis. She also meets with various heads of state, usually while wearing risque miniskirts :). Unfortunately, she also crosses her legs, thus nothing is visible.

Sometime in 2005, after tanning heavily for five years to appear Black to apologist voters, she was confirmed as United States Secretary Of State, also known as the President's personal cumbucket. During her confirmation hearing, this bitch almost beat the rice out of Barbara Boxer, but was restrained and sedated. While Condoleezza has never been married (to a man), she has been known to slip up and call the president "my husband", which is pretty fucking creepy.

The Condoleezza Rice Fandom

Americans For Rice, often mistaken for an Azn Pride group or Anne Rice fansite, it was actually the official homepage of the Condoleezza Rice fan club. It was populated by furiously masturbating Republicunt fanboys so enthralled with her hawtness that they delusionally believe the average Okie redneck Republicunt voter will vote for a black woman for president. It now says, "Account suspended. Account for domain has been suspended." And nothing of value was lost. Not to be missed was their truly amazing Condoleezza Rice campaign song (now with video!), "Condoleezza Will Lead Us", which narrowly edges out Andy Gibb's "Shadow Dancing" as the cheesiest cunting song ever written.

Condoleezza Rice Has a Secret


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