Cookies are sweet, delicious treats. Although not as beloved as cakes, the main advantage of cookies is that there can be five in a package. Cookies are baked with sugar, flower, and love (^__^). Cookies are the most sought-after objects of the Internets. Whenever cookies are mentioned, one can expect the Cookie Monster, Arnold Schwarzenegger, or even Dexter to make an appearance.
Most sites need cookies to be enabled in order to function, especially if you're planning to log in. Unfortunately, most users manage their cookies or their cache. These people, for one reason or another, don't know how to enable or disable cookies. These people never touch their browser's Preferences or Options unless they're planning to do something wrong. They don't even know how to clear their cache or browsing history.
Although cookies could be used to spy and annoy you, cookies are not that harmful. Despite this, people disable cookies anyway and forget how to re-enable them. Cookies aren't viruses. They can destroy your privacy, but they can't destroy software or your computer. Simply keep them enabled and start clearing your cache every once in a while.
Fortune cookies are mystic treats that supposedly contain answers to your future. These fortunes are less cryptic than those created by Nostradamus, but they're also less likely to ever happen. They were created by Asian Americans in order to profit from ramen-eating weeaboos who seek "authentic" Asian cuisine. Fortune cookies also tend to contain the supposed winning numbers to the lottery. Recently, however, fortune cookies began to stop offering fortune and to provide advice and ancient Chinese proverbs instead.
—Cookie Monster in denial
Cookie Monster has generally been viewed as a lovable, huggable creature. Cookie Monster is so named due to his fierce and beastly love for cookies and all things sweet. He's been on Sesame Street since Day 1, and for most of that time, there wasn't any complaining. Cookie Monster introduced several generations to humor and created the song.
Recently, however, things changed. Over 60% of Americans were fat and sloppy. Concerned, Christian mothers began to look for a scapegoat. Someone or something had to be responsible, but it couldn't be themselves. It had to been some evil, foreign influence. It had to be from TV or video games; it couldn't be from enablers such as themselves. These parents blamed Cookie Monster and flooded Sesames Street's human resources department with complaints.
In response, the Sesame Street executives forced Cookie Monster to cut down on cookies. Cookies became a "sometimes food"; now, he eats fruits first. Sesame fanbois then attacked the Sesame Street executives for turning him into a so-called Veggie Monster. Cookie Monster denies these claims and claims that he would eat (almost) anything.
After doing memorable movies such as Predator and Terminator, Arnold decided to change his image by doing family comedies and Japanese commercials. This led to box office bombs and Internet wins such as Kindergarten Cop and Jingle All the Way.
During the film, Arnold (portraying a loser named "Howard" phones home in order to talk to his wife, but an asshole called "Ted" answers instead. Ted eats some cookies baked by Arnold's waifu and tells Arnold about how good they are. Arnold then yells:
Cookies? Who told you you could eat my cookies? Put that cookie down. NOW!
This was all before the Internets of course, but once the users rediscovered the film, parodies appeared everywhere (specifically YouTube).
Dexter's Lab was a comedic cartoon created and produced by Russian Jew Genndy Tartakovsky and shown on Cartoon Network. This show featured a boy genius called Dexter and his childish sister Dee-Dee. In a particular episode called "The Parrot Trap", Dexter creates a parrot that mimics anything it hears. Due to interference from Dee-Dee, the parrot annoys Dexter, and Dexter bashes it up. This leads to the parrot going haywire and saying things such as "DEXTER'S A COOKIE", "DEXTER'S A STUPID GIRL", "SMOOTH MOVE DEXTER", "DEXTER'S SECRET", "THE FLORIDA EVERGLADES", and "WORMS AND PLASTIC MINNOWS". This is often parodied and remixed in YouTube videos.
is part of a series on
Food and Drink
[Om Nom Nom]