Cory Lidle

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Terrorist

On 10/11/06, Yankees pitcher Cory Lidle flew his small plane into a 50-story New York City high-rise. Following this attack, Yankees manager Joe Torre fled the country, after being placed on the FBI's Most-Wanted list. Yankees owner George Steinbrenner was later assassinated by a drunken Mets fan.

This series of attacks led to the Major League War, in which the National League successfully defended itself from the evil Zionists of the American League. It is widely postulated that the main reason for the National League's victory in this war was the inability of American League pitchers to hit a fucking ball because of their designated hitter blasphemy.

Lidle's Motivation

Historians still debate the reasons for Cory Lidle's attack to this day. The most widely accepted reasons are:

Beer Pong Rule

  • Want to confuse and shame your opponents? Throwing the ping pong ball at the force of a crashing plane will knock the other teams cups of off the table, spilling beer on your competitors.


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