From Encyclopedia Dramatica
What happens when you get one unemployed, self righteous, unfunny, manic depressive fucktard, who is given internet access to a world of other unemployed, self righteous, unfunny, manic depressive fucktards, and continually heap on undeserved praise for championing a political movement based solely around mocking religious zealots (as long as they're not Muslims, Because that would be racist) on YouTube?
Coughlan666 (Richard James Harris) happens. From his humble beginnings shouting obscenities at theist scum over the internet, Dave Grohl (on meth) look alike Richard "The Dick" Coughlan stumbled onto internet stardom after instigating various civil wars within his beloved YouTube Atheist community and, despite priding himself as an expert in the ways of pwnage, more often than not ends up publicly humiliated by the very people he intended to mock. The resulting hysteria and conspiracy theories he subsequently spouts are the stuff of legends.
Like many who lack the required insight and charm to make their opinions worth anything to anyone else, Richard Coughlan sat at his computer and watched a handful of videos by TheAmazingAtheist. Enamored at how such a slovenly, disheveled creature was somehow commanding a fanbase, Coughlan decided that if he spiced up his vlogs and added fast paced music with a plethora of curse words thrown in for good measure, he too could appear to be a well educated, articulate individual. And as well educated, articulate individuals tend to do, he set off to YouTube to antagonize softball targets such as Creationists and children, with hopes he himself could one day champion the Intelligent Atheist way.
And so it was that Richard joined the hordes of webcam warriors to crusade for the rational and intelligent Atheist agenda by finding retards on the internet and swearing at them in 10 minute intervals. In time, Coughlan himself had establish a true and loyal fanbase that followed his every word with bated breath. And it was so as Coughlan soldiered on, displaying his Atheist intelligence on such commentating superweights as VenomFangX and ChristianU2ber.
Instigating The YouTube Atheist Civil War of 2010
During the 2010 United Kingdom general election, it had come to Coughlan's attention that fellow Atheist Superstar Pat Condell had urged his fellow Atheists to vote for the right wing United Kingdom Independence Party, who shared Condells staunch anti-Islam opinions. Coughlan, an admitted "left wing, black person loving, pale skinned, anorexic, bean eating, fucking trout", took great offense to someone who prided themselves on living a rational, Godless life having a differing opinion on him in regards to politics, and proceeded to handle the matter like intelligent and rational Atheists do; he got on his webcam and cursed at Condell for 17 fucking minutes while insisting that Atheism has been around for 5 years and that he'll end up a martyr for the struggle.
As it tends to do, Coughlans righteous indignation lighted a passionate fury amongst his community. Denouncing Condell as a wolf in sheeps clothing impostor, Coughlan encouraged his viewers that they too should show their educated dissent and also scream obscenities at Condell for not being in line with the good and proper Atheist way. Condell responded in typical fascist manner, by calmly explaining his decision. Coughlan, taking this new video as a personal challenge, responded with yet another video, claiming he had now been made amongst the thousands clogging the tubes with their inane bullshit and that now the gloves were off. Coughlan was on the attack, chastising Condells nigger hating propaganda.
To the Atheists, the rift was the opening shot of something inconceivably terrible, a unified, intelligent community was splintering. In reality, two faggots were fighting over faggot shit that nobody but faggots cared about.
But then boys and girls, something amazing happened.
The Dick Gets Offended
The heated drama between Condell and Coughlan garnered much attention from Atheists on Youtube, but as the conflict dragged on, the notorious "Dick" Coughlans facade began to break down. Rabid Pat Condell fans began to flock on Coughlans channel, plastering his comment box with hateful comments and, to top it off, a DMCA! The turn of events shocked and confused Coughlan, as he could not, for the life of him understand why the logical and intelligent YouTube Atheists, who had made stars of him and others who made a point of trolling and swearing at retards, would now be trolling and swearing at him.
Despite being a total badass, free-thinking rebel who opposed convention, Richard "The Dick" Coughlan began pleading for his beloved Atheist community to stop being so mean to him, calling them out for their hypocrisy. The overwhelming paradox of the situation didn't halt the onslaught, and Coughlan was berated by his once loyal fanbase.
The Dick Gets Doxed
After crying in the previous video, Coughlan was trolled even harder, however he had now revealed that the stakes have been raised. He announced that he had gotten a death threat with his dox attached, claiming that he had no choice but to hand over the information to counter the barrage of DMCA'd videos. He concluded the video with his trademark well elaborated, highly convincing Atheist reasoning; screaming FUCK YOU! at his webcam.
The Condell Conspiracies
Coughlan, along with his cadre of faggots, immediately declared that Pat Condell was personally behind the dox drop and subsequent threats, with the working theory being that Condell, a very influential figurehead of the budding Atheist movement, couldn't be publically humiliated like he had been when The Dick called him out on his Atheist betraying right wing political leanings. So, Condell had personally sent his legion to DMCA Coughlan, obtain his information, and taunt him with the details before inevitably murdering him, thus ensuring the continuation of the British Right wings hijacking of the highly coveted Atheist community of YouTube vloggers.
Supporters uploaded videos in droves, pledging unwavering support for Coughlan in his time of crisis and promising swift, brutal retaliation for Condell and his gaggle of internet terrorists for their gurus pain; that Coughlan may have made himself the target of people without any actual affiliation with Pat Condell at all and that maybe his previous time on YouTube alternating between antagonizing batshit Christians and publicly crying like a fucking loon over trivial shit had attracted a horde of trolls who have no motive other than fun has yet to be acknowledged.
The Amazing Atheist and Fakesagan Push Richard To The Brink
But the Pat Condell incident was not Coughlans first experience with antagonizing people more popular than him and then immediately regretting it. In another notable spat with fellow YouTube nerds, in the Spring of 2009 Coughlan found himself embroiled in a dick measuring contest with Atheist Superstars and gay lovers Fakesagan and The Amazing Atheist. The back and forth went on with the usual Amazing Atheist super hilarious fast paced, hyper spliced insults while Coughlan retorted with his trademark British wit; YouTube atheists far and wide either took sides in the epic conflict or begged for an immediate end to war as nerd battled nerd over the hearts and minds of armchair theologists and dropout philosophers the world over.
The war ended suddenly and hilariously 4 days later when The Dick, famous for his bone dry wit and vicious pwnage, came to the conclusion that he couldn't handle the merciless onslaught of unflattering vlogs directed at him and handled the situation in the most appropriate and dignified way he knew how; cutting a 10 minute Mick Foley promo and warning Atheist and Fakesagan that if the torture didn't end he would be driven insane and not responsible for what he would do.
Raped By Thunderf00t
In one of the more cohesive, elaborate videos about The Dick, Thunderf00t made a drawn out video which followed Coughlans longstanding history of batshit theatrics during his stay on YouTube, exposing not only Coughlans hypocritical whining but his faggot followers as well. It should be mentioned that a number of troll accounts have been made to spread the Hystronic Personality Disorder theory. This blatant act of faggotry must be seen in the proper light. In other words, keep calm and carry on.
Legitimate Mental Illness? In My Coughlan?
- Exhibitionist behavior.
- Excessive dramatics with exaggerated displays of emotions
- Excessive sensitivity to criticism or disapproval.
- A need to be the center of attention.
- Low tolerance for frustration or delayed gratification.
- Tendency to believe that relationships are more intimate than they actually are
- Well I'll be damned.
Trolled by Paul Kent
Despite fancying himself as an anti-Christian troll, Coughlan666 has shown that he is perfectly capable of being induced to tears by a supposed Christian troll (or anything) over nothing more than his videos being temporarily taken down because of a DMCA notice. Of course anyone that has a Youtube channel that hosts music would easily tell you that getting a DMCA notice isn't the end of the world, don't tell that to Coughlan666; who immediately proceeded to counter the DMCA notice with his actual contact information before wondering how and why he was being prank called. Regardless, Coughlan took the easy-mode trolling technique and declared that he was the victim of Honest-to-God censorship, and theorized that the best way to counter someone who was clearly only interested in provoking a reaction from him was to announce in no uncertain terms that he was incredibly upset about these developments and making veiled threats of violence while holding back tears before literally begging his viewers to mirror the video while explaining that because of his fame he was in a precarious position to being silenced by the cruel and ruthless trolls.
—Coughlan handling his business like a man.
Coughlan the Comedian
Many staunch Coughlan supporters counter those that mock and attack The Dick by explaining his critics are simply missing the entire point of his shtick; Richard Coughlan is a comedian, they insist. Wildly irrational and highly disproportionate response to an otherwise well articulated point from a rival? "Deliberate satire of course!" Uncalled for, bottom of the barrel vulgarity? "Why, Coughlan is using this shocking language to educate!". Indeed, like many before him, Richard Coughlan confused biting social commentary via comedy with sprinkling half assed political opinions about whatever flavor of the now topic was circulating the tubes before continuing to scream and flail about like a chimp with downs.
Just like George Carlin!.
Unfortunately for The Dick, his patented brand of sandwiching "offensive" opinions of the social zeitgeist in between poorly thought out comedy bits about soft ball targets was more in line with the Carlos Mencia approach to comedy. Between both his relatively minor success in regards to his notoriety amongst his internet atheist colleagues and stylistic choice of his videos, Coughlans profound incompetence at anything other than provoking butthurt amongst other would-be YouTube savants has instead given him all the credibility of an emaciated, rat faced Dane Cook of the Atheist vloggers.
It's hypothesized that his general all around failure at producing anything entertaining deliberately and desire to siphon e-cred from others has fed his insatiable need to pick fights with otherwise like-minded individuals, yet because he understands just just barely enough about the internet to realize he'd be raped beyond recognition if he were to reveal his unstable whaling were sincere, believes if he retorts with "I did it for the lulz" ages after the fact that it will magically wash away the stench of ridicule, years of historical evidence to the contrary be damned.
Relationship and Downfall
Year-End Fail 2012
Richard "The Douche" Coughlan went on a steady stream of epic failure in the months leading to the new year. This slippery slope started, with Dicky-Boy freaking out on a 17-year-old girl named Asha Davis, for trying to think for herself, after posting a typically pitiful video, trying to kiss her ass.
This lead to another beef, with yet ANOTHER black woman named NurdyDancing... leading some to believe that Coughlan is projecting racist butthurt on black women, due to his failed e-lationship with xxxThePeachxxx. After hurling a steady stream of abuse, Coughlan then reverted back to self-pity. Uploading typically moany videos about his fragile mental state, and begging complete strangers for money on Facebook. The lulz doesn't stop there, after uploading a series of goddawful acoustic performances, Coughlan bitches a blue streak over a long-time subscriber dropping him because he sucks.
Coughlan Fails In Love
Just like most mentally imbalanced crackheads, Coughlan is unlucky in love. Rather than, like most guys would, take it as a hint to reexamine himself and step up his game. Instead, he chooses to go on Facebook and bitch about the fact that some fucking girl he knew for a week, and spent one whole fucking day with, just put him in the friend zone. Aw, did the love of your life, for one whole day, dump your ass for her abusive ex-boyfriend? Turns out that's what this whole e-begging and "I'm Not Right In The Head" faggotry was all about from the start.
Coughlan's YouTube Boner
As if that weren't embarrassing enough, Coughlan restores his channels, which he had set to private for a whole two days, after his announcement about his delicate mental condition. This time, singing a gay fucking song about how he's fucked Pat Condell, Thunderf00t, and FakeSagan, and that his "YouTube Boner's not going down." Clearly, Coughlan's forced internet tough guy bravado and constant seeking of attention and approval, is a psychological acting out of Coughlan's desire to sexually dominate other men. Unfortunately for Coughlan, the only thing getting dominated is his swollen ass.
2013 - A New Year for Failing
Coughlan's Charity Fraud Scheme
Whining about how he's being criticized for claiming to donate the money he's earning for his awesome acoustic songs to charity, even though it's linked to his own PayPal account. The same link he posted on Facebook, asking for donations because he was going through rough times.
However, the fact that what he's doing is illegal, seems to elude the Dick and his legion of cock-sniffing fanboys. It is against the law to use a charity's name, to solicit donations, without the charity's consent or a license. It is also illegal to sell cover versions of songs you do not own the rights to, without permission from the copyright holders. Coughlan has dubbed all his critics "The Anti-Coughlan Taliban" and faces criticism in his typical meth-addled way... by crying like a weak bitch.
The Fanboys Rush to Dick's Defense
The Butt-hurt Coughlan Groupies (or BCG for short) came out in droves to defend Coughlan from the legitimate criticism that he's actually breaking the law. Slimy cuntrags like CardinalVirtues, and StanMarsh1, who personify the kind of empty-headed, thirty-year-old basement-dwelling faggot-losers that make up the Dick's retarded fan base... came out of the woodwork to argue with Coughlan's critics. Despite the fact that they clearly didn't have a fucking clue what they were talking about, they still foolishly flapped their gums and argued semantics with such golden nuggets such as "SHOW ME A LINK TO THE LAW!" or "WHAT HAS COUGHLAN DONE TO YOOOOU?!"
Despite all the verbal tap-dancing, all their petty arguments about whether you need a charity's permission to raise funds online, they completely side-step the main issue that COUGHLAN IS ILLEGALLY SELLING COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL!
The Dick vs. The Mad Shangi
After making a video containing all the hallmarks of a typical dick video; his emo faggotry and another hard-luck sob-story about how he's broke, unemployed, and freezing. Meanwhile, he's still able to afford cigarettes and internet. A YouTube user by the name of The MadShangi posted a cynical video response, which provoked Coughlan into a typical Coughlan-esque whiny butt-hurt fueled rage. The video also busted how Coughlan were previously using a charity to fund his drug-use.
Coughlan made a video directed at The Mad Shangi, where he whined about being exposed for defrauding a charity and infringing on other people's intellectual property. One of the highlights of the video is where Coughlan complained about Shangi sending tweets to one-hit-wonder, Coolio, informing the rapper that Coughlan was selling his illegal acoustic cover version of "Gangsta's Paradise." Coughlan also did a retarded chicken-dance going "BAWK! BAWK! BAWK!" challenging The Mad Shangi to report him to the authorities himself. See, The Mad Shangi posted a video letting the public know how to report Coughlan to the authorities... just before he Tweeted the link, and sent his toothless drones to flag it down.
Dick's Illegal Cover Songs Get DMCA'd
After Richard's Bandcamp page was reported to PRSforMusic and The Harry Fox Agency -- organizations that specifically deal with licensing cover songs -- a DMCA was filed and all of
Richard's other people's songs were taken off his site. Coughlan responded in typical fashion... firstly, he whined about it on Facebook where his Dickriders came to soothe his aching butt-hurt. Secondly, he posted a video directed at Pamew, whining and crying about how he was being compared to Brett Keane, before launching into a screaming tirade about how he is being evicted from his place of residence (boo-hoo). He continues to fail to grasp the reality that he was selling other people's music, without permission, to make a profit - that he fully admitted to doing this "shamelessly," then rebel roused his critics into reporting him. Now that his critics have accepted his challenge, he's now butt-hurt that he has no money to survive on. Not a fuck was given. Maybe, instead of pretending to be a musician, he should A.) Get a fucking job B.) Stop crying on the internet or C.) Maybe write and perform his own music, instead of illegally selling other people's.
Trolling Richard Coughlan; A How-To
If you were to take a look at the comment section of any given Coughlan video you'll see one of two types of comments: ecstatic and diehard support, or a failtroll spouting what he believes is concentrated hilariousness. A lesser seen response to a Coughlan video would be articulate, rational observations of Richards faggotry, which upon first observation you probably chalked up to the common knowledge that the kind of people that comment on YouTube videos are either dickriders or retards. The hilarious truth, however, is that during his career of receiving theoretical cockrubs and kudos from the mouthbreathers that are the YouTube Atheist Alliance gained from trolling trailer trash, when confronted by someone without spare chromosomes, Coughlan is put in the precarious position of having to defend himself without falling back on such classics as "You shhhhhhhhhhhtyupid fawk". Though tempting to call out Coughlan on his douchebaggery in a blunt and speedy manner, stating the obvious gives his faggot fanbase an opportunity to spew shit like "omg so mad COUGHLAN TTYL PWN U XD".
Any retard can (and most of them will) declare somebody pointing out what a failure they are as a victory as the opposition didn't attempt to debunk what they had said, but putting them in a position to have to justify their rambling bullshit usually results in hilarity. And because even a crackhead can comprehend that nothing good ever came from a civilized dialog, Coughlan realized the best way to handle such criticism would be to ignore it completely by removing said opposing viewpoints and blocking accounts that make them. Try it at home, kids! It's simple; sign up a sockpuppet on YouTube and try out one of our handy phrases!
- "I respectfully disagree with your political stance
- "For somebody that prides himself on picking on retarded children you sure do get offended easily."
- "A lot of your problems could have been avoided had you not reacted like a complete knob."
- "What part of advertising your personal life on the internet seemed it was a good idea?"
Unfunny, non hostile, and completely and totally reasonable retorts guaranteed to send Coughlan and company into a confused frenzy.
Begging on Patreon
Following in the footsteps of TheAmazingAtheist and Thunderf00t, his (in his head anyway) arch-enemies, Coughlan now has a Patreon account so he can eternally beg suckers for money. The irony of all this is he has criticized Thunderf00t in the past for using Patreon and for giving off autographed photos of himself for 100 bucks, yet he's giving off dolls of himself (yes you read that right, creepy plushies of himself) for 50 bucks, alongside making people pay to have Skype calls with him. Who's the unstable egotist again? Go donate so he can have something to eat this week. Oh, who is he kidding? He'll just use it to buy meth.
Coughlan - Feminist heroLike all Social Justice Losers, Coughlan likes to pick on small girls and claim that harassment is okay. This time, because feminist JJTalkz had the gall to out some of the Social Justice Warriors that Coughlan like, he was obviously upset, because how could HannibalTheVictor13 be a bad guy? OH.
Listen and believe.
Trying to cyber with Jenny McDerpmott
When Coughlan isn't busy crying about how everyone should not harass women, he is busy harassing women by trying to coerce them into showing their tits on webcam, so he can jerk off to them.
I feel compelled to capture the moment (of me fapping)
i might be a horny filthy little bastard but im a gentleman
Ive ended up having sex with every woman ive skyped with
It's like, wanking but even more fun
would you you now be slight;ly interested in letting me return the favour of photos to you
I'm just warming my neck up in case the chance to eat you out happens to arise
It's a taste u can get very addicted to.
doing you would be a lot of fun
if ur not comfortable at any point i want you to say
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- The new channel
- Dick Mitch Singing Coughlan singalongs. Every fanboy will orgasm at his voice properly.
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